Big shift

Recently, I had 3 whole days and nights where everything was noticed, accepted and letting go of – and everything simultaneously. There were no identification, no struggle or stress, no resistance – just being aware that this came through me to be surrendered. Then – after having trusted God/Self to take care of it, it felt like sinking back into all-loving arms, just noticing what went on in the body. And since there were no stories at all, there were no pain or suffering – just sensations, neutral, non-judged. The old suffering identity had disappeared.Then the old patterns sneaked back – and I remembered that these golden days HAD happened, and I was not willing to give up or fall back into old tracks. Today, it is much easier again. It is simply my trust that has grown. It seems like a big shift, but it might really have been a gradual process.

Then, this morning,I asked H.S how it would feel like if I truly let go of all tensions in the body – what would happen? What I experienced was many pains and sensations, some only a millisecond long- and after a while i feel asleep, and met David Bowie. He was dismantling a sort of time-machine,and I watched as he became younger, it was fun and we had a great time. Then he kissed me brotherly on the lips and took his machine, and I told him “Now I can tell people that David Bowie kissed me!”I felt very special and “chosen”, and he grinned and disappeared.

Lingering in my mind when i got up was an old feeling that I have explored lately – and I see is a collective one: a feeling of deep hopelessness and powerlessness. It had its center in my navel, and that gave me the idea that it was inherited by birth. The essence of it was “being taken for granted.” I wanted to practice The Emotion Code – a way to find trapped emotions in the bodymind -and many of those turn out to be inherited. Working with dowsing / a pendulum/ I found that it was from my mother’s ancestral line,  in 1941 – and it had to do with a shock that sent waves down in about 90 generations further down the line to me now, in 2016, now explored in this bodymind. I did the procedure with the magnet – the theory is that all traumas that are not solved and forgiven – or, as i found out, not DIGESTED fully – sit in our electromagnetic field/aura. Using the magnet I felt a good rush and release.

About it needing to be digested…I explored what we may have told ourselves ( WE meaning Jews at this point during the war – it was a massacre) – and there was a common strong belief saying “we must have deserved this” meaning we believed we were being punished, and that it was just. And this strong belief of not being worthy – a cornerstone of the ego thought-system – were being “explained” and justified to ourselves.It is this belied – HA, wonderful typo for belief – that I needed to sit with and sense in the body.

Before me on the table was The Way of The Servant by Jayem. I opened it randomly and read “the radiance of our union.” And I said out loud, ” I allow this old wound of being taken for granted with no value to be outshined by the radiance of our Union.”

Just as I had done for those three days – allowing
Christ to do it FOR me /through me / as me.

I suggest that a lot of stuff that is going on for people is inherited, and that we are the ones who have decided to allow it to be transformed through us.

If you are interested in The Emotion Code, you can find free charts on the web, and there are ways to learn muscle testing or dowsing at YouTube.

Edit/Delete Message

Waking up in the shower

In the shower, I sense chaos subsiding, energies align with clarity.I sense the aura purring like a cat who is stroked. I am aware of some very clear thoughts:

The suffering child/me – and my whole childhood –  is a projection. The memory of the violated suffering little child me is in this moment seen as a construct of ego. I have told myself that I must never betray her, as she was betrayed – meaning I must keep “her” close so I can be there for her if she falls into panic or psychoses. Now I SEE that if I withdraw my investment in the belief that she is ME and that it happened in REALITY, the whole story crumbles and evaporates. There simply IS no “me” to save.

What has given her reality – brought that story into flesh and emotions and vulnerability and victim-hood and me and other, is ONLY  the Holy Son of God’s  choice for the possibility of separation. That choice is taken with the free will that God gave His Son – and so it is manifested.

As the water strokes the aura, I know in gratitude and release that in Truth, there is no suffering, no separation, no victims and predators – there is a false belief in guilt and sin projected into the separated fragments of the One Son. I am not leaving “her” – betraying her – there is no HER other than in my constructed story of separation. I can turn of the projector – I am willing to see clearly.

*

Writing the last sentence, this poem by Thich Nhat Hanh comes to mind.

Please Call Me by My True Names

I have a poem for you. This poem is about three of us.
The first is a twelve-year-old girl, one of the boat
people crossing the Gulf of Siam. She was raped by a
sea pirate, and after that she threw herself into the
sea. The second person is the sea pirate, who was born
in a remote village in Thailand. And the third person
is me. I was very angry, of course. But I could not take
sides against the sea pirate. If I could have, it would
have been easier, but I couldn’t. I realized that if I
had been born in his village and had lived a similar life
– economic, educational, and so on – it is likely that I
would now be that sea pirate. So it is not easy to take
sides. Out of suffering, I wrote this poem. It is called
“Please Call Me by My True Names,” because I have many names,
and when you call me by any of them, I have to say, “Yes.”

Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow —
even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his “debt of blood” to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart
can be left open,
the door of compassion.

http://www.spiritualnow.com/

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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