Healing Slide – and Swallow-play

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE89f600ETA
I did something I was very scared of doing today:  please see video “Healing Slide.”

The program says: “The Healing Slide is intended to cure us from certainty and security. This is one of doctor Carsten Höller’s creations at the Henie Onstad Museum, “The Slide produces a sense of loss of control and an opportunity”, as he says himself, “to experience an emotional state that is a unique condition somewhere between delight and madness.”

It took some time before I pluck up my courage, as I was terribly afraid – but I did it!  and he is quite right – “state between pleasure and madness” is right. When I reached the other end, my brain convinced me that I had twisted around at least three – four times – but it was just one long turn. And what happened in the brain was amazing to me  – and it was probably also contributing that I was terribly afraid  and ignored the fear 🙂 🙂 :).

I felt 20 kilos lighter afterwards. I felt very proud and happy! And you know what – I have not seen swallows in 10 years at least – I’ve missed them so much! – and when I got out of the museum and walked down the big green fields, there were 5 swallows there – and they had so much fun: they flew ca 30 cm above the ground ,and flew into figure eight and big circles around me and I just stood there and  tears flowed

 

The fear of receiving

In my last post  I wrote about my old neighbor yelling “Murderer” at me when I told her it is better to accept help where she lives than being sent to an institution.

I have prayed for insight in how this mirrors a place in me that thinks it is murdered when it received help = Light, Love.

First answer was the insight that my left eye -“the feminine part” – simply will not receive sunlight: all forms dissolve in a mesh. As soon as I block the light with my hand, I see just fine.

So I went into the right brain which governs the left side of the body, searching for the non-accepting part, and found it right away. It told me it is hopeless to heal this, and I listen and offer a hug.

Then I remember another sign I have received since I asked: our main newspaper offer a special discount-card to its subscribers for cultural events. I have tried via both Internet and phone to the paper to get this card. The helpful person told me that they had no idea why my cellphone-link to the paper did not work. Aha- cell phone – the automatic answer via Internet said the same: it was not accepted. And lately my cellphone just turns itself off – which is not possible – and it has to be reloaded about 5 times as often, just lying there.

So this is all about some cells in my right brain that somehow have received the command to not receive nourishment, love, light, God – but it’s perfectly fine to give all this to others.It also gives me a clear message: you need to just SIT my friend, and upload your batteries. Sit AS Christ, as your new practice. You need do nothing but SIT.

The fear of this belongs to the innermost essence of the false savior-archetype, Bird *- who takes its identity from being the helper in all ways possible and impossible – and so it must follow that it is terrified of receiving.

I hear that, and have lately, following lesson 9 in John Mark Stroud’s deepening of the Way of Mastery – Jeshua’s channellings to Jayem. His -Jeshua’s – latest suggestion to us is to sit 5 minutes each day AS the Christ. Not with, as. It has astonishingly strong effect on me and my body and my cells – and I think the late “outer” experiences are phenomenal metaphors for this old archetypal resistance to Love and receiving that our old brain is holding.

So I decided that today I am going to town, to the Newspaper, to get my card physically J When I write this, I hear a relieved “Oh thank God” from my brain, and the lower back starts hurting instead LOL

The pain can move how much it wants – it still can’t stop the eternal flow of Love that is my essence – but I CAN hold it, tenderly, listening to its story and forgiving myself for believing that this ever was valuable to believe was valuable 🙂

* Please see “When fear comes home to Love”-book. You can read more about this book here

 

Massacre

In today’s Skype-sharing with Kit, we explored the place in the mind where the little child for the first time discovers that mom/dad is ” another.” Suddenly they are different: the all encompassing Love we felt has been withdrawn, and here is somebody else who uses a new and scary angry voice – they look quite different – their energy is different.

We felt the shock in the system – the shock that our parent could be “somebody alien”, and the terror of that – and we made a decision: “I will lock it off.”

We massacred our brain: neurons, do NOT go the usual direction. We are in great danger: reroute,reroute! Lock that shock into the system for good.

And next time our parent is “different”, we are trained to circumvent the old shock-reaction: we are trained to deal with it with anger, force and control. We overpower the other.

And what we have locked into our systems, we now subconsciously project into our children – as Kit described today had happened when her little son refused to dress and go to Kindergarten.

Our headaches disappear as we allow the old locks to be unlocked. The grief flows out,then the peace – and the clear insight that the “changed” parent did not came from evil or hatred – they came from their own indoctrination – just ignorance, just an error.

Stop – breathe when you feel these patterns. Stop the automatic repetition: sense what goes on in the body, be willing to open what you closed of, be willing to forgive it, to have your beliefs about what this all meant, to be corrected.

Seen down to the core -there are no guilty ones

All that ever happened is that (very few) people have been raised – and trained – to deal with anger in a child in a healthy way: “I see that you are angry now. I will sit here with you, and I’d love to hear what is going on.”

 

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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