Michael Brown uses Presence where Course-students use the Holy Spirit. Whatever the name, I am happy to share how fast Presence answered my prayer two nights ago – I deeply wanted and intended to be shown what the innermost cause for “my” fear is – and I put the fear in Love’s hands and asked It to take over. Strong sensations happened all over the body, and it was exciting to lay there and experience without identifying with any of it.

And then – the next day I found myself going to Michael’s YouTube-site and open the video in my last post. There are zillions to choose from.

Only in bed that night did I realize that that video WAS the prayer answer.

And it is in Blue’s hands now ( Blue is my name for Holy Spirit) – I acknowledged for the first time that this is what I really feel about God on the deepest level, and asked Blue to correct it for me and heal my mind. I heard “You know, it is healed aeons ago. There is no time:) Now you just saw it.”

There was never a hatred of God – but there was a BELIEF in a hatred of God – and so it seemed to be.

I love to be wrong:)

Expanding ripples of Love

How amazingly liberating to see how I can use the Course-principles for non-Course students.

I have noticed how my student/patient easily and gratefully falls into practicing being wrong, and being willing to not know what to do or think, and being willing to see the situation differently and observed her lighten up and becoming peaceful when she find this willingness. What a wonder to see somebody so willing to learn to choose love over fear, and the wondrous effects it has on her psyche and body.

A little more than one hour was used today to observe the healing process in the body-mind when she let go of ego concepts – and her observation of what that did to her feelings of peace and freedom of tensions.  As she willingly allowed things to be as they were, because she did not have  “to do” something with anything, a remarkable field of Love permeated the room. And I saw a clear image of Self as a clear and silent pond: a stone was dropped in it, and the ripples expanded and expanded and expanded.

We are these ever-expanding waves of love, expanding. I realized how helpful this image is for me – it surpasses the intellect, which is where ego easily traps me. When I can see myself as this Love- ripples-expansion as a correction, that is so helpful.

And unlike our world, where all ripples eventually come to a stop, in reality there is no end to the expansion of Love-ripples.

And I KNOW that.

Thank God for my patients – my gifts

finding the blessed route

(The blessed route: see Mona’s loving comment to last post)

Same cramps and crap starts in the morning. And I remember what I recently read in the Course in Miracles Text some mornings ago:

T-13.VI.4. Time can release as well as imprison, depending on whose interpretation of it you use. 2 Past, present and future are not continuous, unless you force continuity on them. 3 You can perceive them as continuous, and make them so for you. 4 But do not be deceived, and then believe that this is how it is. 5 For to believe reality is what you would have it be according to your use for it is delusional. 6 You would destroy time’s continuity by breaking it into past, present and future for your own purposes. 7 You would anticipate the future on the basis of your past experience, and plan for it accordingly. 8 Yet by doing so you are aligning past and future, and not allowing the miracle, which could intervene between them, to free you to be born again.

 I see I am relating to these cramps from a past perceptive lens. I choose instead the Miracle, and allow It to set me free.

A free space opens around it. I ask Blue to guide me through this, and hear: ” Do you agree that it is a dream?” He is referring to a discussion with a friend recently where I insisted to be met where I was -still strongly identified with the story of having been a baby subjected to tortured abuse from parents in a state of insanity and dissociation. I reminded her about what Jesus calls these maneuvers, where Course-students try to be “helpful” and for example tell grieving people ” you don’t  need to grieve, this is just an illusion.” This is called “level-confusion” in Course-language – where we ignore where we/ the sufferer are, and try to get them where we think they “should”be. Jesus calls this “a particularly unworthy denial.”

And now – in the early hours of the Sunday morning, I KNOW that this story is a dream and that I, as decision-making mind, am dreaming it.

Why would I take her suggestion as an attack if I knew I had been dreaming all of it up?

Why indeed?

The cramped energy of holding on the story  as “me – my true identity” – is very strong.And maybe-just maybe -this cramp-energy is really Love in Its pure form, defended against? This moment, I have no problem whatever with allowing “the cramps” to be here – and allowing it to dissolve, if it needs to.

There is a sensation of something huge and dense cloud like, softly and delicately transforming itself, now that the label has been taken off “the cramps:” inside it is a cool crispness. There is an insight coming from the muscles and bones: ” we can let go a bit.”  I sense the imprint in the back and heart-area of the “iron-rod” I felt was pushed right through me when I went to the ER  – this time I don’t react to it with fear and “me”-identity – it’s just “something.” I choose the Miracle to deal with it any way it chooses.

The strong cramps are now transformed into strong buzzing energy in the legs and neck. – – –

Now it comes back, as cramps in the arms – as soon as I speak this, it melts – – –  it moves into the old butt-home – and I realize that the body is an illusion too, and I hold on to it with giving power to the labels: butt, cramp, me. How easy it is to dissolve into the dream and believing it is real. I see that as long as I am in the witnessing mode – not taking the idea of separation serious – it really dissolves

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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