Big Surprise

Today, more on play and creativity –
(preparing the scared and reluctant ones for the “Dragon and Princesses”-online course that starts January 1 2018 on Facebook)

here is a short demonstration of play that transforms:

Think of a word. I’ll demonstrate. * Devil.” ( Fear: oh noo!) Oh yes: it comes for reason, Leelah – and that’s what you can lead this course: you trust the process, and demonstrate what will happen when the course participants receive words they immediately will want to reject.

Okey then, lets play and see what comes:
Once upon a time there was a little devil who lived on a mountaintop all by himself. It was dreary and dull, nobody to bug and scare, just wonderful views wherever he saw.

So he uttered a minuscule HELP ME, and there, he sank right down into the top and down-down down, and around him were nothing but angels and laughter and whatever he did and yelled and cursed, there was nothing but giggles, they simply did not take him seriously.

So he started to swear a lot, and the angels immediately played with that,”fuck fluck fickety suck cluck cluckcluck” and there was hens all around him! ” Satan!” he yelled, and the angels went ” satan platan tomaten weights-a-ton – haten daten peyton Place!!!”
“screw you!” he yelled, and the angels came quite near and tickled him and sang “screw you, lulu, honeyhonylulu toodle toodle doo!”

So he started to giggle too, and the cutest little angel wings sprouted from his former black and nubby body

and frankly, that was end of him.

(And right now – believe it or not – my new and expensive security program declared ” End of the program.”

Comments received with joy

Putting the Demons to the Sacred Bonfire

 

About 1 ½ month ago, I got a strong pain in the right knee. That was the time when I first posted about my vision of a seven week online course: Dragons and Princesses. About changing our relationship to our dragons – illnesses, problems – through play and creativity and sharing. Spirit showed me how the very dynamics of the illness would be changed, when we stop relating to them with resistance and judgments, and open to them with curiosity, wonder and play instead.

I told Spirit  a happy YES to lead such groups, and then of course the fears and resistance that have to do with “being creative” popped up. It took until this morning to understand: I had listened to fear, and fear said: You have to see to it that nobody sabotages the process.

And I believed that, I really did, and fear grew inside – and the knee hurt more. Until this morning, when I asked Spirit what this was about, and  was reminded what our marvelous leader Paolo Knill taught us in the beginning  of one of our long training periods in Switzerland. “ We will bring our demons to the fire.”

He lighted a candle, and we all brought our demons/fears of creativity to it:

‘I must guess what she wants me to do and do it just perfectly like that, or else’

‘If I don’t do it “right”, I will screw everything up for the others and they will hate me. It will be MY fault. They will hate me!”

‘I am so scared that I won’t find out what the “right” thing to do this exercise is.  I MUST find it!’

‘I must find out exactly what she/ the leader/ means, or else’

‘This is my only chance to be free of my dragon’

‘I will let absolutely NO one know about what I think and feel.” (Under that sentence lies a bunch of demons.)

‘If I sabotage now – not doing it perfectly – it means that I simply don’t deserve to live’

Here is one of my strongest: “ I can’t show the others my own clumsy efforts! I am the group-leader, I must deliver great artistic stuff all the time forgossake!’

Here is a fascistic variety: ‘I can’t upload a photo of my little sculpture to the group – it is too perfect and fantastic, the others can’t deliver up to this standard and so they will lose hope, poor amateurs.’ 

( I know! Ohmygohd!)

So I realized that I wanted to relate to the part that had created this painful knee, and told it “I am here for  you, I  am not going anywhere, I am here to support you to feel whatever you need to feel.” There was an instant visceral connection. I “saw” her as a “little one”, and I allowed her to have her feelings – I was the observer of HER having the feelings. She was thrashing around, like drowning under all these demon-demands, believing they were real, believing they were important to follow and obey for her to be safe. She was also angry and deeply sad

I acknowledged that all of this were perfectly reasonable feelings to have, believing what she did ( and what we all have learned at some point  by parents who themselves had learned the same.)  I saw myself with her, placing my hand on her heart, asking her to feel the love and support from it, encouraging her to allow and express whatever she needed.

(Demon: Nina!! You have to express this PERFECTLY! Or else!!! ( fill in your own ‘or else.’ J)

Nina ( putting him to the sacred fire) I am satisfied with it, sweetie.

The little one felt the love, and knew that the love and support was greater than the first pain. The beliefs unwound, and there was a beautiful release.

The pain in the knee has done its job – I saw what it needed me to see: – how vital it is for us on this course to bring our judgments/demons freely to the sacred bonfire in the Garden – not hiding or suppressing our fear of performance in any way. What if the illnesses can really grow because of our resistance to Love, in form of these judgements? What if judging judgments truly IS demonizing them – what if that were true?

If so, play is the very antidote to illness.

Next post I will share the story about how I created a healing ritual of demons during a workshop of Pottery and Meditation at Ennismore in Cork, Ireland – earlier a Monastery, now a retreat and conference center. It was led by the outstanding Father Donagh O’Shea  OP  – potter and Dominican Father. This story is also a chapter in my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love – the healing gifts of art, play and forgiveness.” in the right menu. It is possible to “look inside” at the Amazon page.

(When posting this to my Facebook wall just now, the application crashed – it said” this is an unknown application.” I knew it was a message from Spirit, who wanted me to look out the window. On the great green field outside my window are two black figures. One of them falls to his knees, like praying for his life.Two kids are playing a game with a gun that spews arrows. They enjoy changing roles from killer to victim. They have costumes and all 🙂

And when I posted it here, this site crashed too 🙂

I acknowledged the big unconscious collective fear we all have on “creating” – I told myself, OF COURSE you are afraid of posting this -and Firefox found it and let me re post it 🙂

In A Course in Miracles, the world is an illusion – a play

It says we all have played all the roles, to explore separation

I don’t judge it anymore – and I also want to wake up fully

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Invitation to online Playshop in healing

This quote from Rainer Maria Rilke is since 1988 the motto for my work as Expressive Arts Therapist at my studio; “Yes to the Soul.”

*
I want to speak to you about something that is very close to my heart. It is about how play, creativity, and silliness can be magical door-openers into what we have run away from – in a safe way.

I am here today to extend an invitation for a playshop (not workshop.) Some days ago, Spirit came through loud and clear and presented a structure for pioneering groupwork. Those who resonate with this will come together for a 7 weeks online playshop. Our intention is to bring healing to something we still haven’t accepted, embraced and forgiven – a “dragon.” As Rilke points out, it needs our help – and the help will come from our Self (Source, Higher Power, inner guidance, God, call it what you want.)

True healing happens when we come back into alignment with our essence. Trying to heal is struggle. Allowing intuition/Source to lead is something else altogether.

I am calling out to those playful dedicated souls who want to wake up and see through the dragons of illness, pain and victimization. That does not necessarily mean that illness and pain disappears: it means that we discover that they truly offer potentiality for great transformation.

And when we put our swords of judgment and resistance away, the dragons may relax and let the princesses out – the princesses being our own denied innocent needs and feelings. It is my experience, working like this the last 29 years in private practice and teaching it, when we stop opposing the illnesses/pain/problems, and instead opens to them with interested curiosity, creativity and PLAY, wonders may happen and princesses have been known to come out and jig happily.

(You who just decided “ Oh I can’t do that. I knew it. I don’t belong here“ – come back. Of course you are.)

We will each pick one dragon – a dis-ease, an illness, physical or emotional. We will set an intention of changing our relationship to it – from wanting to get rid of it – fix it – or “try to heal it” – to simply allowing it to BE and ***allow*** Source to take care of with it. It can do that only when we step back and get another perspective: creativity and

PLAY

When we are playing, we are stepping back from our limitations and our incessant drive to fix and perform and have validation from outside. Play opens you to a level of consciousness where more of YOU can come out. And we are receiving the magic of changing perspective on the dragon, on pain, on ourselves.

When WE step back, willing to play with the exercises***, not doing them for anybody but ourselves, to play and explore, then LOVE is free to flow into it in ways that are surprising and fun. And transforming! And even if the dragon may not be transformed, our MIND will be: we will be aware of that Something that directs our “creations”, we will notice themes arising in the group that show our connectedness. Maybe we will discover that there is so much more to our lives than what we have believed possible. What if we even may have seen through the veil of separation – seeing the illness as a messenger and an opportunity to love this part of us deeper.

***Practically: I will send you a creative exercise each Monday for seven weeks. It will be one theme each week. You need absolutely no “artistic” talent or practice. It is not about the result – it is about our willingness to play and explore and allow the love and energy inherent in the exercises to just express itself, just follow it where it wants to go. If you can only draw stick-men, that’s perfectly fine. Experience tells me that the more we trust and surrender to the process of simply doing these simple exercises, without trying to heal our dragon, the more freedom and space we give to our expressions. The more we get out of the way, Love can step in.

We will have a private group on Facebook, where we can post photos of our doodles, sketches, word-plays, photos etc. It is not to be judged. I see clearly – and sweat when I write this , like my body is underlining it for me:

Change will happen in our relationship to the dragons when we allow them to transform through our playfulness and non-seriousness – simply trusting and surrendering to a process we cannot control.

And precisely THERE Love and transformation enters.

I am sending this out now to find you. If you resonate, please email me with your name and mail address. There are only 2 places open.

About me:
In short: I have a studio – “Yes to the Soul” – where I since 1988 have worked with those who want to wake up to our true nature, and have used play and creativity as the main means for this. The process has always shown us that there is Something that leads our stories and expressions – and that this Something is nothing else than your own playful innocent magical Self.
*

Invitation to 7 week online course in healing dragons

This quote from Rainer Maria Rilke is since 1988 the motto for my work as Expressive Arts Therapist at my studio; “Yes to the Soul.”

*
I want to speak to you about something that is very close to my heart. It is about how play, creativity, and silliness can be magical door-openers into what we have run away from – in a safe way.

I am here today to extend an invitation for a play shop (not workshop.) Two days ago, my Self came through loud and clear and presented a structure for pioneering group work. Those who resonate with this will come together for a 7 weeks online play shop. Our intention is to bring healing to something we still haven’t accepted, embraced and forgiven – a “dragon.” As Rilke points out, it needs our help – and the help will come from our Self (Source, Higher Power, inner guidance, God, call it what you want.)

True healing happens when we come back into alignment with our essence. Trying to heal is struggle. Allowing intuition/Source to lead is something else altogether.

I am calling out to those playful dedicated souls who want to wake up and see through the dragons of illness, pain and victimization. That does not necessarily mean that illness and pain disappears: it means that we discover that they truly offer potentiality for great transformation.

And when we put our swords of judgment and resistance away, the dragons may relax and let the princesses out – the princesses being our own denied innocent needs and feelings. It is my experience ,working like this the last 29 years, that when we stop opposing the illnesses/pain/problems, and instead opens to them with interested curiosity, creativity and PLAY, wonders may happen and princesses have been known to come out and jig happily.

(You who just decided “ Oh I can’t do that. I knew it. I don’t belong here“ – come back. Of course you are.)

We will each pick one dragon – a dis-ease, an illness, physical or emotional. We will set an intention of changing our relationship to it – from wanting to get rid of it – fix it – or “try to heal it” – to simply allowing it to BE and allow Source to take care of with it. It can do that only when we step back and get another perspective: creativity and

PLAY

When we are playing, we are stepping back from our limitations and our incessant drive to fix and perform and have validation from outside. Play opens you to a level of consciousness where more of YOU can come out. And we are receiving the magic of changing perspective on the dragon, on pain, on ourselves.

When WE step back, willing to play with the exercises***, not doing them for anybody but ourselves, to play and explore, then LOVE is free to flow into it in ways that are surprising and fun. And transforming! And even if the dragon may not be transformed, our MIND will be: we will be aware of that Something that directs our “creations”, we will notice themes arising in the group that show our connectedness. Maybe we will discover that there is so much more to our lives than what we have believed possible. What if we even may look through the veil of separation – seeing the illness as a messenger and an opportunity to love this part of us deeper.

***Practically: I will send you a creative exercise each Monday. It will be one theme each week. You need absolutely no “artistic” talent or practice. It is not about the result – it is about our willingness to play and explore and allow the love and energy inherent in the exercises to just express itself, just follow it where it wants to go. If you can only draw stick-men, that’s perfectly fine. Experience tells me that the more we trust and surrender to the process of simply doing these simple exercises, without trying to heal our dragon, the more freedom and space we give to our expressions. The more we get out of the way, Love can step in.

We will have a private group on Facebook, where we can post photos of our doodles, sketches, word-plays, photos etc. You don’t have to. It is not to be judged. I see clearly – and sweat when I write this , like my body is underlining it for me:

Change will happen in our relationship to the dragons when we allow them to transform through our playfulness and non-seriousness – simply trusting and surrendering to a process we cannot control.

And precisely THERE Love and transformation enters.

I will post Q and A’s about the details

And a good long list of “what If’s” that will help if the dragon convinces you that you are useless.

We will start Monday 25th September. I am sending this out now to find you. If you resonate, please mail me your name and mail address. Registration starts September 15th
*
About me:
In short: I have a studio – “Yes to the Soul” – where I since 1988 have worked with those who want to wake up to our true nature, and have used play and creativity as the main means for this. The process has always shown us that there is Something that leads our stories and expressions – and that this Something is nothing else than your own playful innocent magical Self.

Structure

I had a very instructive dream last  night.

I was visiting my old school – The Art and Crafts Academy – and visited it for the umpteenth time in a dream. All the classrooms looked chaotic, dirty, like all the teachers had disappeared, people were only  fooling around like irresponsible children – meaning that nobody had cleaned those floors for a LONG time, nobody had emptied the wastebaskets, cleaned the brushes… pieces of half-eaten old sandwiches were strewn out

I walked around in it all and told the students to pull themselves together – otherwise there would be rats!

Writing that last sentence, the door-bell co-cooed *- meaning: sit down and breathe, allow Love to come into “this.”

Big release – deep yawns

Remembering: At the ground floor in the dream-building, MY class was. I went there, and it was not rat-attractive – just chaotic in a nice spontaneous way.

When I awoke, I posed a wonder-question –  I wonder what this is about?

“You need to structure your time for creativity” it said. “You simply can’t doodle around waiting for inspiration – structure your day more clearly.”

It felt like a  space for a new life opened up. And quite some self-respect.

Still yawning

*

The door-bell co-cooing is what it does when there is nobody outside the door – just some wonderful soulful electronic waves inviting me to stop what I am doing and just allow myself to pay attention.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trusting the Process

 

sillynilly today

O’Fellah

 One time Iago ( who was a playmate of Othello when they were children) made fun of Othello’s nose, and Othello boxed him on his. Iago’s. It did not look good, and Iago lost a front tooth. He then exclaimed what would be a world famous line:” Just wait Ophello, I’ll get you back when you least expect it, I will” and he spat blood.

Othello thought he called him a “fellah,”, a strong invective in those times. and that enraged him even more, and there went the other front tooth.

And a taster from “108 ways to turn crises into possibilities.” They work for problems and illnesses and overwhelm too 🙂

 

End of the world

If the world would end in 20 minutes, and only what you have written down here would be allowed to continue to exist – what would it be? Be specific: not books, but Oliver Twist. Not flowers, but dandelions and poppies. Not trees, but the spruce on the churchyard where I played as 4-year old. –Honor what has gilded your life! How could you bring more of these treasures into your life and crisis NOW? To be able to contain crisis, we need to remember to nourish our soul and self: this nourishment, this knowledge of what you treasure, builds your ability to contain the pain and overwhelm.

 

Namasté

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This video and practice is a life-changer for me – provided I “remember” to practice it. I have practiced a lot today, and like a miracle, the “thing” I “greeted” became sacred. I  did both the inner practice and the actual practice a LOT.

What it did – was helping me see everything that happened as a vital, integral ingredient for a good result.

I was stitching a work with intricate details – and while doing this, a lot went “wrong.” But as soon as I started to see the perfection and sacredness of absolutely all – included knots on the thread – I saw that each seeming fault was in fact a mirror of what needed my heart-felt acceptance of “faults.” I ended up resisting nothing – with no agendas, no firm expectations – and after a while of this, the whole work flowed with an ease and joy that was remarkable. There was a lot of laughing in that process. Irritation was absent.

Just by doing this “silly” exercise ( as spiritual ego would call it)  I experienced so clearly how there CAN BE no true artistic expression when there is control and expectations of a certain outcome – and  without this control, the needle just did its thing, playfully.

 

The lie we buy as humans

Dipping down deep into the Fuckeat-archetype* today, of violence and attack.

I asked Jesus to take care of my dreams this night, and he presented me for an old repeating dream pattern where I want my daughter to do something NOW and when she doesn’t immediately comply, I become an insanely wrathful monster who controls her completely – or rather, tries to control. The rage comes from an underlying deep feeling of powerlessness and worthlessness.

Awake, I ask to be taken back to a situation in this life where I was on the receiving end of this. It is clear; I am sitting with my father at his own masterpiece as carpenter – a beautiful mahogany desk. He is trying to help me understand something in homework for school, I don’t know how old I am – but his anger scares me so much that I truly think he may kill me if I don’t understand.

I can see the levels in this creation:

Father/parent: it is required of me that I make you understand and learn. If I don’t succeed, you will fail and that will be my responsibility – this is an expression of Love, this is how I have been taught that Love is: full of demands and threats. “I punish you for your own good.”

I realize from where I am now how me being “stupid” was a blemish on the perfect and idyllic façade of the family – no signs of suffering allowed, except maybe physical pains

This thought is clearly based on our innermost and first collective misunderstanding: that we don’t have a loving Self/connection to God, we are separated and on our own. Love is something that must be had from outside – and it must be deserved, and it must be portioned out, due to how worthy we are of it – meaning the results we get at school and at work.

The attempts of control of this façade – and our performances – take a tremendous toll on our nervous systems and our muscles, which have the job of absorbing it all.

I was not aware that I as angry at all on my daughter, before she wrote it in a letter to me when she was 13 – “I was deadly afraid.” What – of me???

My father probably denied it for himself too.

Now, in the night, sitting and breathing into it in my bed, I sense that I simply now understand that my intense fear of angry men is in reality me being angry at me for not being perfectly conforming to the others demands and expectations

That’s why punishing myself feels safe, and I am recognizing that I am a sucker for it.

Until now

I am allowing myself to see these beliefs and HAVE THESE feelings now – no judgments – what a relief that is. And I also remember the bus driver who lost it, where I found my Christ coming out and smiling at him – and he became instantly transformed.

Just by my willingness to disregard his behavior and look through it to his Self and his innermost innocence – which is our original state of being

Hah – I see that the paranoia in me is just another flavor of these beliefs – I have projected my own hidden hatred and murder lust of myself on the others, who have played out these attack-thought/projections in various degrees of viciousness.

“You are doing it to yourself” as The Course repeats – “there are nobody out there but you.”

Here is my repeated thought and demand that I must NOT do anything “wrong”.

Killer and victim- ONE coin. I place it on the Altar.

Just now sitting with the feeling of being “the stupid one” – allowing myself to calmly breath and relax into it

Nothing of it is built on the Truth of Who we are: One with our Creator.

We can pretend all we like here in our world – and it will never become Truth

So I notice that I now actually look forward to people losing it in front of me – I know they are really acting out this old collective impotent anger – and that it is not mine and that is not his or yours, it is just a thought that our ego-mind has cooked up to keep us trapped in its world of separation and fear.What we believe in, becomes our reality.

 

The Fuckeat-archetype* is described in detail in “When Fear Comes Home to Love:”

“… you will meet Fuckeat as Killer / Destroyer, Vampire (Hungry Ghost), Fucker, Crusher, Despot, Invader. Thank God he is nothing else than our own hidden guilt and self-hatred, which forever awaits our forgiveness. His main defeaters are Play, Creativity, Humor, Love and Forgiveness – as you will see from our stories.”

And then  The Course will speak the last word:

M.VI.7 The more grotesque the dream, the fiercer and more powerful its defenses seem to be. 8 Yet when the teacher of God finally agrees to look past them, he finds that nothing was there. 9 Slowly at first he lets himself be undeceived. 10 But he learns faster as his trust increases. 11 It is not danger that comes when defenses are laid down. 12 It is safety. 13 It is peace. 14 It is joy. 15 And it is God.

 

 

 

 

3 time: CORRECT LINK to Magic Journey

1 Follow me

For the third time I have attached a link here to the magic journey. I failed  before to click the correct box for having the photos publicly shown There is also a opportunity for me to write this intro to the photo-journey:a dear friend told me that at first she found some of the photos chaotic and destructive. I need to talk about that here:

The first sign for me that I was entering a guided “magical” journey and exploration, was my own shadow, waving for me – and when i noticed it and took a photo of it, I knew something was brewing – and then i turned and saw that i was standing in front of a gate into the wood – a potent symbol if it ever was one.’The first symbols and photos brought me in touch with mother nature and a wonderful grounded feelings. The rays of light that was seen through th camera felt mysterious and awe inspiring, the wood transformed itself.

Then I was standing in front of the tagged concrete wall. I went closer, and saw “jeg elsker karoline” in the middle – “I love Karoline.”

It was then that I saw all the police tape circling a big area – and wanted to see what that was about.

My first impression was destruction and chaos too – but something inside insisted on seeing everything here as with Christ’s perception = Love. I took a lot of photos as the Love grew, and the fun thing they day after was finding good titles to the works of “Pie” – the main artist.

For me, coming in to that closed.off-area with police-tape, was to enter a story of somebody who bubbled with creativity and mounted their work on trees. The signs of trying to rise structures and build bridges touched me deeply, and for me it was  feelings laid bare – like cries for help, and also anger for not having any outlet for this creativity elsewhere. me – but with nakedness, straightness, wildness, punk if you will 🙂

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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