Going Deeper into Ego, Finding Love

What I experienced with the Core Transformation method this morning was a demonstration of what the human psyche does ( or at least my version of it) – when we have a spiritual breakthrough, close to Source, then the opposite rears its head too. It came in a dream with drug-addicts, acting-outs, neglected babies, a door that could not keep this out, constant fear of being overwhelmed and taken over by it – a core-issue for me in this life, fully described in my book.

I had yesterday got a strong pain in two toes on the left foot, and understood that these symptoms were linked to the psychic content that had come up to be forgiven.

I did the process with the part that wanted peace from this – and it turned out to be fully identified with ego: I want to be stronger than them!

Then: I just want ***a breathing pause*** from all of this!
THAT immediately sent a wave of freedom and healing through the toes – I saw that what I had wanted, was to just keep this pattern going, maybe to be punished a little bit more, bit maybe also to FIX IT myself. Cause that would mean that I was awesome – right?

THat called for tenderness and giggles too !

I continued going deeper: “I want to scream and yell to them to get the hell out!”

“And then “I want to punish them!”

I saw all kind of scenarios coming up of torture and self-torture . First there came judgments – but then came tenderness: “Of course you want this! No wonder you feel like this!”

And when it truly had been heard and not judged, it said:

“I just want us to be friends!”

From that point, it quietly moved to wanting to have God radiate through me as me, KNOWING that this was my true identity.

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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