Who is dying?

Ilona at MarkedEternal and I are working. I find it difficult that terms are so different from the Course – and ego uses my confusion to resist and suffer. Ilona is calm and describes as good as she can what things mean in her description. I am in  a big mixture of exhilarating joy and dense What???? She tells me to be gentle to myself – ah! A Course-term:-)

So this below came floating up in my mind: an earlier process with “who am I:”

I wrote this 20 years ago, to a paper in my education as Expressive Arts Therapist. We were given the assignment to write 10 “book-reports” in a creative expressive way. I reviewed Stephen Levine’s wonderful work “Who is dying” – and that led to a connection and friendship with the Levines since then that is such a gift in my life.

Here is the original aquarelle – and to save you the stress of reading it, I have written it out in a linear way.

Who is dying?
who lives and suffers and cries in pain?
Leelah is in pain
who is Leelah?
Leelah is a teacher -a mother – a healer an artist
(A what-ist?)
a witch – a bitch – a madonna – a whore
who says this? who writes?
who wants this to be beautiful?
a voice in me –
who is me –
who is listening to what is writing –
who is writing what?
what is writing who?
who is what is who really is –
who is confused now –
I AM THAT I AM
who says this
who is blocked now
who is judging this block as BAD
Leelah is.
  Leelah is.
Who is Leelah?
Leelahis a seeker
A lover
A lover
Who is loving Leelah?
Who is Leelah loving?
Love is who-ing Leelah
Who is love?
Who is writing?
Who is here – witnessing
smiling –
who is seeing the smile
who is who is who is
_
IS-NESS
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NOBODY IS DYING
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BODY IS DYING
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DYING IS
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IS-NESS

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