Finding Quan Yin inside

The old pattern of “dark attacks” are escalating. And so also the help comes:-now the  Levines sent me another book about Quan Yin: The Goddess of 5th Avenue, a novel by Carol Simone. with a wonderful meditation on CD within it. I have played it twice already, and experienced being Quan Yin – which is the title of the first book that Stephen sent me!

All that happens is that a split-off part of the wrong mind has an idea that is unpleasant and it is a stinky idea and it hurts. It’s not serious and it has no power to take away the peace of the God mind.I am not my personal nature – I am That which shines through it.

THANK GOD the body is not equipped to process these strong energies. That makes it so much easier to see the body as the Course sees it: a false proof of a false thought of separation. The identity last night with Quan Yin was real, and all my aches and pains were gone while I did it. Now my work is truly to find all the places that I still carry grievances – write them down and allow this Light That We Are to shine through them.

Even if my body may die from this energy, no harm is done to the Truth that I am, and experienced yesterday

I accept my innocence and accept it in everyone

This is my experience:

When you say “yes” to fear, it does not mean that it is real and dangerous – it means only that you don’t resist that the presence of fear-energy seem to be here. You say absolute no to the stories inside the fear – the content of it. I am here as Presence – and I remember my Creator.I am One with my Self, a perfect reflection of God’s Perfection – and it is from This the yes comes: the fear comes from me choosing to believe in the separation thought, finding the made-up story about the separate me valuable ( more valuable that Reality). I now can forgive myself for dreaming this – and choosing again: I use the Quan Yin-ian cocoon in the meditation to take it in and transform it.

 “Trials are but lessons which you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one, and thus escape all pain which what you chose before has brought to you.”
-A Course in Miracles

And now: truly transparent art – Mitsuko Uchida plays Schumann: Gesänge der Fruhe, Opus 133


9th of June I attended a one-day workshop with Gary and Cindy Renard. Wonderful! I was sitting right in front of him, 7 feet away, so I could do a lot of looking into his eyes. PURE JOY, peace,fun,happiness. The joy was not of this world – and to see that was Heaven.

I noted down his suggestion for a good forgiveness-structure:

1)NOTICE the grievance and the reaction you have to x (whatever is in the front of your face.)

2)STOP the ego reaction/thinking – DON*T ANALYZE

3)SWITCH OVER: – from victim to dreamer:
Realize with the H.S that what you see is what YOU have projected – it is not real. It does not happen TO you, it happens THROUGH you. Forgive what he/she never did in reality.

4) REMEMBER GOD: Replace the illusion/ image of what seemed to happen with Eternal Spirit: look beyond the false images and false experiences to the Light.

For me what was astonishingly effective was to STOP the automatic reaction. I never did that:-) I thought it had to be like that – but after stopping now, and choosing to replace the false images with Light …that is so cool. And I can do that in different ways: I can choose to see a spot of light in the person I think has offended me, and join with that …- or I can decide to remember God … or I can ask H.S to choose for God for me – or something else that I am guided to. A way I particularly love is to ask myself “and can you allow these false images/experiences to be replaced by LOVE? That way, it is not “me”, ego, doing anything “spiritual” – no effort – just allowing Source to correct my perception and to heal what needs healing.

At the workshop, a very strong demonstration of the projection-mechanism happened between me and a friend. When I saw her in the door, I noticed that she did not want to look me in the eyes –  she looked away,looking uncomfortable, fidgeting – both our smiles were strained. I immediately made up a story that she was angry at me for leaving a lecture she held recently before it ended.

So in  the break I went over to her and let her know that I found her lecture inspiring, and that I was sorry that I had to leave early. “Oh, but I knew that was because of your broken rib” she said, and everything of that former uncomfortable attitude was gone.

In psychology, there is a form of transference called “projective identification.” This is from Wikipedia:

Projective identification differs from simple projection in that projective identification can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, whereby a person, believing something false about another, relates to that other person in such a way that the other person alters their behavior to make the belief true. The second person is influenced by the projection and begins to behave as though he or she is in fact actually characterized by the projected thoughts or beliefs, a process that may happen outside the awareness of both parties involved.

Being a Course-student, this was such a great experience how we as egos project our guilt outside and SEE IT AS REAL in the others. As soon as I was willing to find out what had happened, it all dissolved, and saw only the radiant Love that my friend is – and felt it in me too.

Now it is much easier to disregard what I see as bad behavior in others:it is only “false experience” and is a reflection of something in my mind that I have judged as “bad.” For me, the moment I realize this, the other’s behavior changes.

the clouds and the Light

Today’s lesson: 69: My grievances hide the light of the world in me

As I am sitting in the morning, allowing myself to go through and past the clouds. I sense them brushing cool around my face. The Course is saying that if I am feeling I am being lifted up, I am doing it right – and I am. Suddenly I am in that light you see when you fly above the clouds in a plane. A voice is telling me this is not the light I am looking for, so I go on. I am transported forward in great speed – and then I am at my inner altar. Here the Light is not like the light from the sun – the light is not like any earthly light at all: it is a softness, a tenderness that I am part of, it welcomes me back to safety and my heart. A Presence is here, so familiar, so infinite sweet and kind.

The ego’s presence in my bodymind is felt like cold. I ask myself if I could let go of the determination to hold on to this cold as “me” – and I can. Now the cold is still there, but there is no “me” attached to it.

Now I am aware of a kind of fighting to get the cold away recognizing the ego fighting ego. I shift my attention between the Light of Presence and the cold – back and forth, several times –  the cold is abating – and then the phone rings.

It is a shock to the nervous system. This decision for shock in this moment came through me. I must have been afraid of disappearing into the altar-light. I forgive my choice for ego and notice  I have my old symbolic bathrobe on. How effective shock is – and have been – to take me away from Home. And how much power I have given to it before – “now the darkness won again, it was stronger. I KNEW it!!!!

But now I realize that even though I don’t see the light and the altar as clearly anymore, I also do not mind the ego-cold and fear: it can be there, included – there is no me attached to it. The ego now says”OH, I GOT IT!! I am so good! I am safe!” I notice the thoughts and the cold and they just drift by: I am not that.

foto by:

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

%d bloggers like this: