Going Deep

 

Working on Skype with a dear friend – Kit – there came up a little girl who had hid herself under tons of defenses. Deep deep deep down. It is a beautiful experience to witness and be with such an occurrence in the other – we sense how vital they have been for our mental survival – how s/he has constructed a brilliant structure of coping mechanisms to orient herself in the world.

When this one gets space, it opens a new world of freed energy.

I recently had such an inner child witnessed and respected and loved – and today I could do that for Kit. I felt the new depth we both had “excavated” and freed up – and the Coronavirus came to my attention: a teacher I follow in energy medicine, Prune Harris

has recently got the virus, and recovered with the  energy medicine exercises she teaches – and she mentioned that she felt the depth of the virus inside her energysystem. With Kit today, I know we went down into THAT depth – and all it took was our willingness to BE with – BREATHE  give space and love and allowance to.

No more fixing, no more wanting to heal: Allowing healing to happen, by being with it and witnessing it.

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If you should want an experience like this:

I offer this experimental process if you are interested. It is a healing process of finding and helping you be with these parts of you –  in love. We will meet on Skype. I don’t use video:)

If interested, let me know

 

Surrender

Happy Easter and Passover, all!

What a lovely word – Passover. What if humanity is truly passing over an old old schism in these Coronadays – forcing us ( helping us) to change our perception from fear to love – choosing love as our preferenced filter to look at anything – the Coronavirus in particular.

Some of us have the strange habit of choosing to welcome whatever illness that comes to us. I have learned this from my beautiful friend Leni.

So I welcomed the Coronavirus to say hi. I saw her as the epitome of Femininity – and that her intention with arriving now, was to manifest deep change in our outmoded fear based thinking. I personally notice the ways she makes it more difficult to breathe – I already have lungs that have a weakness, and deep breathing brings up feelings. When we don’t breathe fully, all those old pesky feelings can go downstairs and compromise our immune system.

Now most of us will be visited by what we have pushed down – and that will teach us how to shift our outmoded thought system thoroughly.

Lately I have had most of the symptoms – except fever, which I almost never have. I have felt my lungs contract when in a fear based state of mind – sensing the C-presence-  and as soon as I have reminded myself that I am Spirit, created in the image of Source, the breathing gets OK again. Then I have actually seen the image of the Corona smile at me. Saying gently: resisting makes it real for you. Surrender to me – like now – and you will flow through.

I know that surrender to it does NOT mean saying ” Oh it is not use, it is deadly, it is much stronger than me blah blah.” Surrender – to me –  means:

It is here to teach me something – to give me a gift. Please show me the gift – and I surrender to what is shown to me.

Take it or leave it folks:) I am not here to tell you what to do, but to share what works for me.

And for that reason, I will share here some reviews of my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – (look in the right menu)  since my readers here may just have something in common with  the way I think and feel and vibrate 🙂

I have choose some of the shorter ones.

Feather

5.0 out of 5 stars Pure Love 

Reviewed in Germany on 8 June 2016

Verified Purchase

*

Gr8fulme1
5.0 out of 5 stars Healing Old Wounds

Reviewed in the United States on 22 May 2014

Verified Purchase

 

 

Miracle

The last day the fear returned with a vengeance. I prayed deeply to be free of the sticky attachment to all of it – and suddenly, it was gone.

The fear energy still is here – but it now feels like a dummy- love bursts through. It does not matter anymore. From this state of mind there is only rest.

My young friend Leni Dubel just wrote on Facebook that illnesses are beings – messengers – they come to heal. Many cancer patients know this deeply after a while – by going through it, there are shining insights. My strongest experience as a breast cancer patient 15 years ago was that I learned that my choice is everything:

I was under the radiation machine, it was the 12th day and the nipple was badly bruised – it seemed that it was rotting and drying up. I heard myself exclaim: Archangel Michael, I want your rays to go through this machine instead of the x-rays.

In that very moment, there was a great Light and I knew without doubt that my prayer had been fulfilled.

From that moment, the effects of the machine-radiation reversed, and the breast returned to it original healed state of being. I also knew that there were no more signs of cancer.

What if I got that cancer to get to that moment – KNOWING that Spirit heals all if I CHOOSE it?

It seems to me that Cancer made it possible for me to get to that moment where I took that chance to ask for help from Spirit, being willing to suspend any beliefs that the body’s illnesses and pain were more powerful that Spirit. It was a huge leap of faith for me, and it was instantly answered.

The strangest and most wonderful surprise for me is that I still feel that fear-energy strongly – but it really has nothing to do with me. I can  hold it, or just let it be, and I c an bless anybody in this fear and agony in their ability to choose love instead.

This is said with the utmost tenderness for all who says ” but I DO choose Love, and nothing happens.”

This was my experience for many years – and it brought me to explore all those parts of me who were selfhating and bitter and filled with vengeance. Carrie Triffet showed me in her last book “The Frickin Map is Upside Down” how important it is to LOVE them just as they are – no fixing – loving them WITH their hatred, with deep patience and compassion – loving them as they are. And as A Course in Miracles says – ” we cannot heal what we still have not accepted and loved.”

I don’t love the hatred. I love the part who hates.

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In the right menu you will find my three books. In these days, my book ” Healing Crisis – 108 ways to turn crises into possibilities” can give you creative playful means to deal with the fear and transform your regulations to it. Like this one:

54) YOUR ANCHOR

What served as an anchor for you when you were a child? What did you ”come home to” – inside yourself or outside? Maybe a favorite day-dream – do you remember the theme? Pets? Music? Nature? Reading? Walking? Making art?  Knitting? Wood-work?

Contemplating this anchor –why was it an anchor?  WHAT is it that was – and is – such a nourishment and comfort for you?

How could you use this anchor now, during the crisis?

(Source of inspiration:

Serge Kahili King, PH.D. http://www.huna.net/

and this:

108 GROUNDING / OVERWHELM[1]

Walk around in the room: point at objects and name them out loud. Do it until you start feeling that you are inside yourself. Then do a variation: point at a thing and name it something else: point at pillow and name it cheese, point at a TV and name it flower, point at the table and name it circus…the dog comes in, and you name her sunshine. Do this for at least ten minutes, and then sit down and see if you can remember some of the new names you invented.

The exercise has a wonderful ability to ground us, shove us out of rigid control-modes and let us laugh – and then, additionally, allow the subconscious to show us what it plays with. Right now.

When we are in a crisis, we are also stuck in a rigidly controlled space. When we are stuck inside it, everything we do or think is perceived through a veil of mistaken identity: I AM that which suffers. To break through this false identity gives you a new footing: suddenly you can see yourself AND the crisis – but you are no longer caught in it. Exercises like this one push you out in free air: yes, there is a crisis in your life right now – but there is also play and creativity.

And you might also enjoy re-naming your crisis, too – ! Instead of” crisis,” you might try out “popcorn.”

“I am in a deep popcorn right now.”

Did you giggle just a little?

 

[1]  Source of inspiration for this exercise: Keith Johnstone: Improvisation and the Theatre
©1979, Methuen Publishing, London

http://www.keithjohnstone.com/main.aspx?id=73

 

 

 

Changing how we perceive the Coruna virus

For those who do not know me so well – I am an artist, writer and Expressive Arts Therapist, and I teach A Course In Miracles, give Past life-regressions and more.

Lately I started a group – CorUno – meaning the One Heart we all share – where the purpose of the group was to  re-imagine the components of the virus in a purely loving and friendly way. My intention with this was:

Since we are all parts of ONE mind, we all have the power to interpret the component in the Coruna Virus any way we like. AND when we make a new interpretation, something happens within our self – and within our nervous system, where our fear may create havoc these days.

Here is the image of the virus – and below are the offerings so far:

OFFERING –

As you listed those colours in the virus I immediately thought of the colours ascribed to the alchemical process – usually black, red, white (or gold – which I prefer to white) – I guess the gray is a light black (?) – it sure feels like it could be an alchemical process! 🖤❤️🧡

OFFERING

I’m having quite a journey with the visualisations. I gave up looking at the virus from a distance and instead allowed it to approach me. This morning it felt like I was sitting inside it, like inside a chrysalis (puppe). Once I surrendered to it, it felt, and still feels, very calm, peaceful, slow, and the only and perfect place to be right now ❤️🙏

OFFERING

The image that came up for me was a sunflower. So I looked up the meaning of sunflower: “The sunflower puts itself in position to directly receive the sun’s gaze. It symbolizes faith and adoration for ALL that is, because of this the sunflower is often regarded as a very spiritual flower. They are therefore a symbol of true faith and loyalty to something that is much bigger and brighter than themselves. “. Now isn’t that a good reminder 🌼

OFFERING

Hello There – when Leelah asked for visualisations my mind emptied but nothing came, except to imagine the virus smiling at me – it felt quite ‘innocent’ and peaceful – still does 🥰

OFFERING

I see all the dots as different musical notes of harmony. Some are flute notes, others are harp and violin. All represent universal love and healing. Listen. Listen. We are loved.

OFFERING
This morning I saw – without even intending to – the red dots as small children holding sacred fires in their hands, the fires were in bowls of gold. The babies were then sitting in a circle that surrounded the image. I heard the babies’ happy voices, and I still get shivers when i describe the holiness of it all. The yellow dots were all fuzzy baby birds – chicken, ducks, I don’t know – the gray was silk, and it emanated tenderness and protection. The white was snow lanterns – very soon we will see them as light filled.

I invite you to LISTEN to the sounds emanating from this image – they feels like blessings

OFFERING

I feel calm and relaxed, more than I have felt in a long time. It is as though the virus has released the heavy tension I have had in my body for many years. In spite of the serious situation, I can see the future «as bright that I have to wear shades»!

OFFERING

A luminous colored sphere glows and moves above my head. The red lights move in space and I dance below and feel joyful and free 🌺

OFFERING

I saw a beautiful rose unfolding, transforming into paper fireworks in many colours, and abundance gently raining down on the whole world. I felt oneness and connection. And I saw white figures all connected to both the earth and the sky, all being lifted up, some just a bit above the ground, and a few all the way up to heaven. I felt deep peace and grounding.

OFFERING

This is what came through me as my visualization-experience:

I am looking at a circular pond in the center of a young birch wood. There are red lotuses in the pond, and the flowers are open so I can see that there are happy newborn babies lying in the flowers – softly undulating in the blue water.

A circle of mothers are sitting around the pond, looking at the babies with radiant expectation. The babies are now floating toward their mothers and being received with intense happiness.

OFFERING

Last night the Coruna image came to me without calling for it. It felt like The Divine Mother opening her arms, inviting me to see that One Heart we all share that beats in all things – and then of course in the Covid-19 too. I relaxed, and seemed to be in a vast and friendly wood, and these trees were all standing  around me waiting to love me – as soon as I was willing to see the virus with love and not believe all the fear propaganda.

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Many years ago I wrote a little book: Healing Crisis – 108 ways to change crises into possibilities. You see it in the right menu – click on image for more information and several reviews from people it has helped. In case you would like to have 108 creative and simple exercises to heal your mind of the viral fear going on right now – and step into a playful loving way of relating to your mind, I invite you to take a peak.

And here is  a short taste from the book:

14) THE SAFE PLACE

Sit comfortably, or lay down. You might want a blanket. Close your eyes – and start creating your safe place. It can be outside or inside – it might exist already – in your dreams, in a film, in a memory, in a painting. Perhaps you already have invented this place when you were a child? Now you can CHOOSE among the ingredients you loved the most from various sources, or create it totally new. Maybe it comes to you if you invite it into your mind? What would you need and want to be there? What smells and sounds would you like to be there? What animals or birds? Colors? Landscape? Angel maybe?

Take the time to really experience your safe place. Experience your body and your breath. Stay there as long as you want. You can return anytime you want – and no-one is allowed to enter unless you invite them.

A  5-star review by Jed Oliver

Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2013

 

 

 

 

GLORIA

3 miracles!

Yesterday morning: working the usual way with dark energies – suddenly seeing the little girl surrounded by Lightbeings, and  feeling / seeing the light and energy all through her and me. This is being healed now– there is nothing I need to do.

This night: the same deep agony as always – and the deep insight, not to be doubted at all: YOU don’t need to go through this any longer.

It is the I / ME who is removed now. No ME healing stuff – just healing happening through me, me letting it happen. The dark went right through without any trace left.

Third time: even clearer now: I, Leelah, don’t need to do this any longer. Complete relaxation, just allowing it to go through, not being affected at all

 

Healing with Horses – and Access Bars

Saturday I was the lucky receiver of Access Bars – healing – and this was a special variety: The leader had two black Icelandic horses, and as soon as we had placed our massage benches outside the stable, they came to us, attracted by the healing energy of the Bars-process.

The photo at the top shows  Vilja ( Will) yawning and releasing energy – just as healers do 🙂

The horses truly knew where to put the muzzles. Sometime they just stood close by our heads and bodies, quite still, and with a tremendous Presence – other times they were pushing hard with their muzzles, almost bumping them rhythmically into our body. I felt blessing streaming from them, it was magical.

Squiggly Dance for Sorry Asses

I have had the Hater’s shrieks in my ears constantly for over a year.

Writing a poem about it has been very helpful! And also making up new words.

 

******

Tis the voice of Green Hater. I heard him declare:
I am coming to shock you, now please be aware

that I could not care less, no  in truth do I swear

I despise your meek manners, your silverlipped tongue

and your drooping eyelids and songs long unsung

I will come in broad daylight and scare you  quite shitless

I’ll mock your big bum and your wit that is witless

You nincompoop sorryass, daftness itself

I will see you for sure in your innermost hells

where you mope and you moan and you scratch yourself red

and your innermost hope is to drop down all dead.

 

Tis the voice of the writer, I heard her declare:

Oh Hater, I say; be aware, be aware

of my silly-spun heart and my giggly air!

I will spin into rhymes every threat that you throw

ev’ry dullwinded shriek, ev’ry word tasting..OH!!

I will force you to dance with me, following steps

that you never have stepped in your life, little qweps.

I will force you to do what you never have done:

dance to your own silly threats – oh what fun!

I will unnerve your nibs, I will squiggle your goggles

And then then let us have us some heartily bubbles!

 

About cancer and other terminal diseases – and healing

In  some of spirituality’s many labyrinths,  we find the these teachings:” If you practice correctly, you will not be sick/ ill – and you will  heal the illness.”

I just wrote this to a friend and teacher – who recently wrote this in her blog:

“If to love oneself is to heal oneself, those who are sick do not love themselves.” – A Course in Miracles.”

First – I think this may be a quote that misses important clarification after the point.

With respect, there are many loving teachers and masters who had cancer and died from it – and I believe they loved themselves – don’t you?
I think I remember that you wrote earlier about exactly this –that reading this for anyone who has cancer or any chronic disease, will feel like a judgment: “you are not practicing the Course “correctly.” Or “enough.” Which are not loving thoughts – are they? There is a harshness in that.

I see friends with cancer – like f.ex. Diederik Wolsak, Ondrea Levin and Pema Deane who share how living with terminal disease has demonstrated for the world a love that is encompassing the illness – and that this illness has truly softened them and melted away any old resistance to Love in their soul. I see how a well known and beloved artist in Norway now uses the cancer to allow every severe treatment the doctors give her, to share openly in our main paper each week the love and wisdom that IS her, while going through this ordeal. Thousands on Facebook – users praise her for showing them the Love that can live through this ordeal.

She had before the illness the cutest face. Now it is transformed by Cortisone. She posts the new face in the paper and on Facebook. Now that is courage and love!

I cruelly judged myself when I got cancer, just because of isolated quotes like  this. What I did was the following two things: 1) I found the little tortured child within the space in the breast that had the cancer cells and listened to her fully, giving her all my love. 2) I asked Archangel Michael’s power to go through the radiation machine, and from that moment the skin and breast were not damaged from the rays.

What I did was seeing the illness not as something I had done/practiced “wrong,” but something that gave me a possibility to see differently – as something that brought MORE Love forth in me.

It truly stripped away so much of what I had thought was essential, and identified as “me.”
Without it I would not believe FULLY that I am supported and served by Jeshua, angels and masters.

I know that if I had judged myself for the cancer I would have died there and then.

With so much love
 Leelah

Trapped in a Box of Stone

I am taking a 7 week course called Feminine Power. We have all made a commitment sharing on the Facebook-group-site from our power: “I commit to make every effort to show up in the group in ways that are aligned with this story of myself as a powerful creator, while at the same time making room for my own vulnerability and imperfections.”

My first longer post was moderated – and they let me know that it had to be MUCH more written from power.

It took me 14 days to find their post to me at Messenger – and their answers have been later than they promised – so this all has contributed to bringing me into an age old state of mind. I chose to look at it as The Universe’s way of arranging all for the best for me. Which I truly believe is true – looking at it with Christ’s vision.

I found that part inside that was in agony at being “ignored”,  outcast, black sheep, left out, feeling hopeless, powerless and angry at God and then herself, for surely she was  at fault for something.

When I found her in the body – this deeply separated identity – I saw her inside a stone-room- like the one Hildegard von Bingen sat in for years, by her own choice – to find God completely. What an exquisite metaphor for the ego thought system:  first we play with the thought “ what if we were on our own and created outside God/Love –” and then, in the shock of being in the utter darkness of lovelessness, guilt, shame and fear is born. Now there seems to be a small I who has to go through eons of years of struggle and suffering to reach the original Knowing  of Who we are. –while the truth is always only a choice away: I choose LOVE now.

I ask her two questions only: “What do you feel” and “what do you need” – and say back  “ I see/hear that you…” I want this old part not to have”comfort” – I want her to KNOW that I hear her without the slightest twinge of judgment – since this is what has worked best for ME in  life and therapy.

At first, I felt with breath and allowance the tremendous agony of living in that stone box for ever as a prisoner, left there to die  (not as Hildegard.)  When this inner part of me at least felt free to express the indescribable anger, venom and hatred at God – “for not thinking she suffered “enough” to be saved – it was a formidable breakthrough, the body was filled with light and tender warmth. Then the next step – to realize that it was really herself she hated and judged – for having failed God’s commands.

Now – I have been raised a Christian – so anybody who has been exposed to those dogmas of a wrathful and vengeful God have these beliefs deeply rooted in our mind: God sets standards and we must be punished for our own good. I recognize how much that belief has craved evidence for itself in my life –  that’s what beliefs do! If I feel unworthy, it is because somebody has projected on me  their own feeling of unworthiness and inadequacy – “ I am WRONG all through.” And so we go through life living it FROM this belief, and  therefore have it mirrored back at us everywhere –  as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Any belief we hold does that – crave evidence for its reality. And we believe it is OUR reality – not just a false thought, believed in.

So my interest has been to find the common archetypes we all are driven by, and finding the “me” at the bottom of them needing to speak her truth and be heard and loved WITH those feelings.

At one point this night, I /she truly SAW how important it was for her to be RIGHT about her perception as being a victim and unjustly treated by God – since the opposite would have meant that the story she had told about herself and given tremendous meaning to, was really based on that God had dumped her and judged her and punished her atrociously in this life

All my suffering has come from IDENTIFYING with her / her story – calling it me and mine.

We are all formidable creators of our life – exactly the way it has turned out: something in our soul has chosen to explore exactly THIS horror you are going through – since you cannot love what you have not first embraced. And we cannot embrace as long as we judge. My childhood with group rape at age four – endless years with abuse and nobody willing to see and comfort – has led me step for step to embracing all of it.  I have truly seen that inside each horrible act from a predator, there is a terrified child believing in unworthiness and guilt – endless ancestral patterns brought forward to us and through us. Through this we are being trained well to find the places where we have – at least – WANTED to murder and torture another. Are you with me?  🙂  Forgiving ourselves for -at least –having rented space for those thoughts in our mind – forgiving ourselves for allowing them in –  allows for The Holy Spirit’s loving energy and thoughts to replace our old “tenants.

I dreamed that Stone Chamber up. – Now I can choose again – being truly forgiving of how much “me-power” there has been in this creation, and therefore how tenaciously parts of me hang on to it.

Finding them all, allowing them to come through in storytelling and playfulness is what I have been created  to help others to do – finding their own  creativity, playfulness and vast resources of healing.

What I love most is that its not possible to make anything “wrong.” When I meet wrong with play, healing and huge laughter happens

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Solitaire resolved

 I just now experienced something sweet. I was playing patience on the PC for umpteenth time, and for the first time became aware of a child part that was afraid. I asked that part that was obsessive with the Solitaire what she was really afraid of. Then I knew: she was terrified of father coming to her in the night and becoming a demon. I told her that COULD not happen again, since I was here now with her. She was very surprised, but we talked for a while and then she could notice me. I told her he COULD not come close anymore since my presence prevented him – I would shine him away.
 
Then she came close to me and the crying broke loose. She cried while I invited her up on my lap while I ended the patience /Solitaire (-which of course now was “resolved.”)
 
This is very sweet to me – since the last month has been filled with overeating, biting nails and more sleeplessness than ever, and all the time the old” false identity” has been here – and only NOW do I realize that this was not just a pattern I should deny and choose something else ( God knows I have tried it umpteen times) . No, I was asked to choose to truly embrace HER – that part of my soul that obviously has been split into many soul parts. I have had shamans – excellent ones – fetch soul parts through the last 40 years – and this seems like the main one, which still was frozen in that moment when he came the first time and transformed into demon.
 
Ah. It is SHE who has had all that freeze inside her at night – not “me”
false identity
It feels true and beautiful to write this.
 
A very good friend recently gifted me with a strange virtual playroom where I can do a lot of things – playing Chinese intricate games AND Patience. I thought I was addicted – and it was she who was addicted. She simply would not go to sleep.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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