Inner Images and Sounds

Hi all

This blog shares my explorations with my mind, memory and body – to dissolve and release imprints of trauma in the cells. I have been shown clearly that any symptom comes from a memory of trauma that had to be stacked away when it happened – I have great respect for those parts of me that hid those parts. Through deep love and non-judgment for these parts, they have opened up for me – and today I will share how a deep inner itching – “Shingles” – came from inner images and sounds that my mind and heart could not be present too – as they at that time were far too frightening and threatening.

We all have those places. It is my experience that sending love to them is possible and healing.

In When Fear Comes Home to Love, I share my path through almost 30 years of explorations – with myself and my patients in therapy. When I sat up in the night when the itching was too overwhelming, I asked for help and opened the book randomly – always trusting that Spirit leads my fingers. They landed here:

Exercise: Giving is receiving

The images we store in our subconscious of the Fuckeat-attacks***, still have the power to put us in a permanent position of alert. This exercise may heal the inner enemy-image, and help us see the scared child within the aggressor – calling for help, just as our own inner Child.

Sit, or lie down. Close your eyes. Allow your breathing to become slow and deep. Put your focus on your heart for a while; know that your loving essence waits for you there. Breathe into this love, expand it. Feel and see it as a light within your heart that expands, embracing you in a cocoon of loving light.

Now visualize your abuser in front of you. If that is too scary, visualize him/her in the arms of their guardian angel. Look for a light-spot within him. When you find it, allow it to expand, until it surrounds him like a cocoon. Now see, within his heart, the image of his own inner child. See the child becoming aware of the light s/he is surrounded by. See her/him relax.

Go with whatever happens.

If you want to, allow the two light-spheres to merge. Remind yourself that the image you see within the light-sphere is a mirror of your own inner child.

Give whatever happens over to the Holy Spirit, or your own Highest Love.

***”Fuckeat” is the name I have given the enemy-archetype of the abuse-variety.

We all have our own inner guides of Spirit. When you faithfully do this work, they will arrange the most wondrous and funny synchronicities for you,, as they do for me.

After having worked a couple of hours in the night with embracing the energies and letting go of some of the images, a completely new sensation filled my chest and solar plexus-area. A feeling of safety the body never has felt in this life. And I had a great dream:

I am having a medical procedure in a hospital The doctor is the epitome of kindness and gentleness. After this, the door opens and a multitude of small children swarm in. I run around and call out: I am a love magnet! And whenever I touch a child, I tell it that now it is glued to me. There is a huge joy in this silly game, and I end up being in the middle of a large heap of giggling children

When I open my door to get the paper in the morning, a child has painted this heart right outside of my door:

I love to end this post with a poem I wrote recently:

The Last Judgment

First
The curve and fragrance of the cupola
The sweetness and dependability of the milk
The age old rhythm of the heartbeat

Landing

Belonging

Middle
You and me in the blue boat
Calm vast sea
Resting in the here – membrane
Between above and below
Looking and knowing
Smiling

Last
Being quietly present all the time
In dreams and awakenings
The knowing:
The Last Judgment
Is Love

 

The emotional charge from childhood

This is a quote from the book “The Presence Process” by Michael Brown.

“Praying for forgiveness”, page 209

At this point in our journey through The Presence Process, it’s beneficial to honestly ask ourselves: “How do we treat those in the world who ask us for unconditional love in the only way they know how?”

Let’s remind ourselves that they use the only means  at their disposal: The drive to recreate the resonance emitted by the emotional charge imprinted in them as children when they thought to be unconditionally loved by their parents.

Does our arrogance lead us to assume they should behave differently – that they should know better, even though we realize the impact on emotional imprinting on behavior? Did we do any better? (- – -) Being forgiving isn’t the same as being nice to everyone. It is simply a perceptual approach in which we don’t identify another by their by their behavior – by their imprinted condition.

*

I have studied the Course about 30 years. Using Micheal Browns insight of behavior being caused  by people’s imprinted emotional condition has done wonders – latest today in the bus.

I have encountered this bus driver many times: He may be a refugee from Nigeria or thereabout. He has always been aggressive, and it is hard to understand his language. When I entered the bus today, I felt the same vibration from his as usual, and then I remembered not to take it personal.

Many more persons came on, and he lashed out to everybody. All people answered politely and looked confused, and gave me(who was sitting in my usual seat next to the driver in front) rolling eyes and little smiles.

And then all was calm inside me, and my heart opened wide: this was his imprinted condition. I recognized him as a child who had been terrorized and forced and made guilty, and my heart took him in.

Few seconds after this he started driving out from a bus-stop, and took out a banknote from his purse and showed me: it was full of holes and fringed. He said, and thank God I understood his meaning: ” …he told me this was valid payment and it isn’t!” I smiled and said “you are right. It isn’t.”

He kept driving, looking right ahead – but he wiped his eyes and nose several times. I sensed a softening, a  beautiful release. Remembering the Course – and Michael Brown: “They are only calling for love the only way they know how.”

The next persons coming on were met in such a different way. Gone was the aggression, the fast talking – and the tiniest smile was seen. I saw the reactions from the passengers changed immediately.

When I exited at my destination, I wished him a good day and started to walk backwards to the exit. He stopped me and told me: “You can exit in the front.”

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

%d bloggers like this: