The Left Eye

Lesson 9, Way of Mastery

It is not possible for you to taste death

This night, I  dreamt about my childhood house – it seemed that my parents were preparing to move out of there. There was a young boy I had never seen there – instead of a normal left eye, he had a bloodshot intestine there – awake, I saw that I somehow have instructed my intestine to SEE for me – the left part, the woman. Makes great sense for me . The boy’s name was one in my early school-classes – his last name resembles the word laborious ( Laboreaux, French.) So I honored those intestines, laboring for me, truly digesting what that little girl could not see if she would keep her sanity.

I realized that a deep default fear of mine was “ always be accommodating towards men, never show disrespect – and this morning it was clear to me that it was a BELIEF, not a fact.

Today was also The World Biggest Eye-contact Experiment. More than 58 countries participated.

On the bus to town, that fear of death made it very hard to breathe, I tapped on it, and also did the lesson 9 exercise – “it is not possible for you to taste death. I was one of the participants in Oslo, sitting there waiting for people to come and do a one minute eye contact. I asked them to look into my left eye ( soul eye.)  So 30-40 people have looked deeply into my left eye today. One cried deeply, ca 98% I felt a deep gratitude and love for – we connected deeply – and the last guy and I opened to such an ocean of pure joy that I will never forget it.

The first who came over, was a whole gang of black dressed youths,  maybe from Cambodia.One of them had a long yellow costume oer his black dress, with a black tip on his yellow hooded head. He was cocky, and I asked him if he was  a pencil…I am a banana! he insisted, and then he sat down. The boys were looking. The banana did a lot of shenanigans: he opened his eyes wide, blinked fast and spastically, it seemed he did it on purpose – it felt like a power exhibition. The more he did that, the more I adored him – the way his position was in that group, he probably was supposed to do that. But since I did not react, just felt more and more soft toward him for every second, suddenly he surrendered. There was a big shift, and he looked surprised. “Did you notice that? I asked, and he said yes, stood up quietly and they walked away.

So I may have changed a banana’s life today

Another guy started to talk and talk. I talked for a while, then listened, and then I saw myself in the old pattern – not daring to tell him that I wanted to NOT talk, because he would kill me. I allowed myself to tell him that I wanted to not talk. I hated it. He took it personally, I asked him not to take it personally . he told me he didn’t…and then he got his rucksack and wanted to leave, and I got up and hugged him and meant it – but still so convinced that my job was to make him feel good.

Now I think about it a LOT, and allow myself to feel the fear and knowing it is a part of death that I simply cannot taste for real, but I can embrace myself each time the paranoid thoughts come. I simply have to allow ME to wake away….big lesson, this. Sickening full of fear.

The third guy sat down and looked hard at me and told me “I am paranoid.” There was quite a lot of resistance there in the beginning, and then I told him “you choose to sit or leave whenever you feel like it. You’re in charge.” Very good impulse – there was a big shift, and then we both sat in that delicious ripple.

And only now, writing this, did I notice that that left eye that had giver her power over to her intestines to digest stuff, was today met by a whole bunch of people.

So only 1 guy was challenging – the other two “strange ones” I enjoyed – and the rest was pure Heaven.

It felt – indescribably beautiful

https://www.theeyegazingexperience.com/ https://facebook.com/theliberatorsinternational/videos/870998736396284/

HUNGER

This post has been edited, due to a missing link – the iceberg, see below.

The human baby/child must be mirrored back from its caretakers in order for it to grow into a separated being with a “me” identity separated from others. This idea – that humanity has unconsciously and collectively agreed upon, and therefore has anchored in our soul, is one of separation’s cornerstones: I am alone. I MUST be loved. Lets’ call it The Deal.

Some example of world-laws/separation laws:

Time exists and makes us grow old and die. Sickness is a nature law. Fear helps us be safe.

In non-duality and A Course in Miracles, we are trained to realize the truth that is eternal and non-changing – and therefore becoming able to see the two thought systems “love/fear, and choose which one we want to listen to.

It has been my strange and wonderful experience many times to change a fear thought underlying a sickness-symptom, and as a result, having that illness and symptoms disappear in a moment.

(My cancer disappeared in one such moment: see “When I am healed I am not healed alone.” Link below. *

https://ninotchka44.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/lesson-137-when-i-am-healed-i-am-not-healed-alone/)

Born into a body and separation, we are dependent on other bodies: – again unconsciously collectively agreed on by humanity * We need our caretakers to mirror us ,to see us, to give us names for all we see: tree. Hand. Milk. And later: now you are angry. You are afraid. Healthy upbringing: and it’s all OK that you feel what you feel: I am here for you. Destructive upbringing: You shouldn’t feel like that, it’s something wrong with you.1.example: LOVE. 2. example: FEAR

I know beyond all doubt that I have chosen my lives down to the most minute detail – and that without them, I could never be where I am now – seeing through my creations, being willing to be willing to drop my interest in their drama (  still a working project ;)) and allow myself to rest in my true identity as Christ/The Son of God – which I share with everybody.

Right now, the healing has focused on a corner-stone of the collective delusion of humanity: I am ALONE and I MUST have love from OTHERS. As I see it, it truly upholds the separation. Nothing wrong with others’ love  – but that my sacred Self needs love from “others is false. Due to the Course and non-duality:” there are no “others” , only Love  – disguised as many and separate, mirroring back to us what we need to see, accept and forgive.

I am not trying to convince you or save you – I am sharing a way of thinking that is healing my mind and bringing me more and more frequently into the Peace of God, and the Joy that is eternally available there.

So this is a place where I  just share my wobblings 🙂

The latest theme is the underlying enormous urge to eat- to fill the perceived emptiness that we may have experienced when we first perceived ourselves as separate from Source. We sense the sucking void of the thought I have left Source, I am dependent on something other than meand this thought  we held to be an unavoidable sign of healthy upbringing: to be an autonomous ego/personality.

In this world that applies -and when this upbringing equals losing our faith in our spiritual being, we start taking fear’s hand and believe that it is safety.

So when I had the experience described in The Iceberg, I believed I was very close to death. I truly believe that if I had believed the thought “Now I will die” I would have allowed the heart attack in – but instead, my training into curiosity and wonder allowed me to choose to embrace the feeling experienced as dying: I MUST be held and seen and LOVED if I shall survive. It shook me to the core,and all through it the fear of death was there – but the longer i stayed with it, the less i believed the fear.

We cannot let go of what we first haven’t accepted and allowed = forgiveness. Choosing to allow the feeling, I did not accept the threat of dying – I did not believe in the thought, giving my power to it. And I truly believe that it saved my body from dying.

What has been demonstrated lately, today in a Skype session with Kit, is the inner hunger that arises when the small child is born into a family whose parents have not themselves had parents who felt safe and loved : I AM A VOID THAT MUST BE FILLED.

Immediately after this primal urge comes, THIS MUST BE HIDDEN – the child can not live with that feeling when it is clear that it can NOT be filled – so our own denial, just like our parents’ denial, creates this HUGE urge: I AM HUNGRY.

I remember a time where a boyfriend, my daughter and I visited a Christian retreat center for a weekend. The rooms where we should sleep were clearly belonging to children. So I asked the son in the house if this was his room – he said yes with a blank, far-away -look. I asked, ‘is that really OK with you?’ ‘This is how it is’ he said -‘ we always give away our rooms for the guests.’

We had driven the whole day without eating more than a little snack, I was ravenous – but what I was truly feeling, without being aware of it ( this was about 30 years ago) was that I was really picking up the collective “ I MUST  BE LOVED, I MUST BE NR.1 for my parents.” This belief at that center mirrored exactly mine( -and my boyfriend’s.)

So when the pizza came, I became nuts, and wolfed it in, knowing I must looked VERY ill behaved, but not being able to stop the primal feeling underlying in us all: I MUST FILL THIS VOID.

I was doubling the pizza pieces so I could eat them faster, since the underlying feeling of starvation was tremendous. All the time the thought: “I will die NOW if this need is not met.” I just did not see that this was not true NOW – it was an old feeling from a very early trauma.

The body does not know the difference: if it is triggered, it is triggered NOW

And underlying all my constant need to nibble and eat constantly lately,is that scream, wanting to be heard.

In the Skype sharing today Kit shared about her son behaving the way I did – to the degree of doubling the pizza and gulping it down. How wonderful to share that I had felt the same, and that his urge mirrors my urge and  her urge – and I guess, everybody’s urge, as long as we haven’t fully awakened from the dream

Let me close with this part of Ode 536 by William Wordsworth:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:

The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home:

Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

*https://ninotchka44.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/lesson-137-when-i-am-healed-i-am-not-healed-alone/,

**You may read more in detail about this in “The Seth-material” by Jane Roberts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hole in the Shitbag

The  teachings are so exquisite lined up for me. Not so pleasurable in the middle of it though-

At the writer-forum, I made a decision that spurred an unbelievable chaos and  confusion, and which was judged by many – and also supported by others, who messaged me: “I am with you to the end.” I used the toxic comments to see how they mirrored toxic beliefs in the mind – one about “passive aggression” struck a chord 🙂 I sure have judged my aggression – I saw that I had  even connected it to being killed, if I let it out. I decided that enough is enough – I would much rather be straight and real than “nice.” Making that decision gave a felt sense of peace and smiles.

In the night, listening to John Mark Stroud’s “deepenings” of The Way of Mastery, lesson 11 a, Jeshua talked about the importance of finding the roots of our affliction, and I prayed to find the roots to the chaos, fear and toxicity I was experiencing. I was taken down to a decision to want to be punished for “my” guilt – it felt like I carried the world’s guilt on my shoulders, and it felt very convincing. I was shown that I had created a dark being to scare me and “punish” me – and was helped to see that this was my creation – so it was mine to uncreate. Not Leelah-mine – it was created by the One Mind behind time and space as a way to separate from God, to truly explore all the feelings that were a consequence of that decision. ” Do you still value exploring them?” asked Love, and no. I truly don’t. It felt like I had found the root of it, and allowed it to be uprooted.

There was also a clear insight of the unreality of this “me” – this Leelah. These feelings and experiences do not belong to personalities or “separate” beings – they come through us to be played out, to be experienced, and ultimately, to be released.We are not limited bodies, we are the Loving Space the bodies float in.

Just sharing this here brings a delicate release and joy

I then had a dream where a powerful wizard like man with a disgusting way of sexual innuendo made passes, and my anger erupted like a fire storm. I woke up, and decided I want to be real and not hide it behind nice: I now know who I am, and Who loves me and supports me – and that They come when I call on them.

And then Love gave me this hilarious sign and symbol on the bus-station:

The shit is out of the pretty-bag

This is a doggy bag. In pretty pink. It’s not inside the littler box, but on top of it – right in front of me, not to be overlooked. And there’s a big hole in it: the shit is out now:)

No more inside  pink sweetness

I giggled all the way to town

Miracle

Recently did a lot of traveling on trains, and practiced seeing the people that I came in contact with as Christ.

I discovered this thought as miraculous – again and again: “Holy Son of God, give me your blessing.”

A German family of 4 was settling in with me. A couple in their late thirties, with one little guy about 1,5 ,and an older brother, maybe 10-12. The mother looked paranoid, did not greet me, mumbled that these seats were impossible, they could NOT drive here. She looked like on the brink of falling apart.

The toddler was placed right across me, and started to kick my shin methodically and hard. It was easy to see that it was just nervous energy, but it hurt anyway so I asked kindly (while seething inside) if they could maybe move him. They looked like I spoke from a foreign planet.

Then I remembered: They are only mirroring what I have judged in my mind. A sweet calm came, and I heard myself thinking: “ Holy Son of God, give me your blessing” – becoming aware of their true nature.

It took maybe ½ a minute. Then the children stood up, the father removed the little hyperactive one and smiled at me. The mother stood up and walked to a window, her body radiated peace and great joy. She turned and looked at us – and me – and her smile came from Home. I sensed something old melting – the old paranoia maybe? And from that moment I thought this prayer, the 5 of us danced a perfectly choreographed dance: we were danced with. It was amazing to witness its beauty and the order of it.

My second seatpartner was a Japanese businesswoman with a travel-PC. She did not look at me, was frowning and busy, and outside the train was the most marvelous landscape. I prayed the same prayer. A seat beside us became free, she brought her PC over there, let her hair down, closed the PC and started to look out the window. What was so sweet was the feeling of connection between us – as we were really siblings and had known each other for always. We often looked across the aisle at the other and just smiled.

After coming home and having slept here 2 nights now, I wake up in the morning and notice the old familiar depression and gloom -and then, after just one second, it feels like a curtain is drawn away, and there is a field of calm and tremendous eternal JOY present.

There is no death. The Son of God is Free

Had a lot of resistance yesterday. Noticed it while it happened – judged it – yuck. Dreams with failing connection to taxis that should bring me home

Let me remember that I am Home, and that ego/me cannot come Home

Session with Kit yesterday:

We find out how vital it is to NOT come too late to our session: not let “anything else” prevent us from meeting up, fresh, rested, prepared. I notice that I often go to my mail right before we start – I think I have to deal with it before our session to save time, “I’ll only…” I tell myself – bullshit – oh the pain right under the Crown Chakra when I believe this stress-thought. I actually seem to believe it is VERY important to get that mail done right then.

It is not important AT ALL. It is absurd

NO: I need to sit and breathe and be present, to honor my connection with glorious Kit and the glorious work we do together – and I prepare for it by just sitting and being.

Now ego is telling me that I use up too much space here with all these spaces and line-shifts – let me just realize that I have boundless space at my disposal.

I want to share with Peter how important for me it is to speak out – and how strong brakes there are on that. This is what I am going to do, Peter – that gives me grounding.

We are sharing stressed situations with clients – and exploring what happens when instead of sitting with it as it is NOW, we try to “deal” with it: it creates guilt, shame and judgments. We feel we are being painted into a corner when we do not have a solution. It creates desperation. “I don’t know any way out of this stuck place!” we say and try to DO something – but just recognizing the blind alley IS the way out – to stay there and WATCH IT. Kit sees an image now: some “green doors that seem to be good ones to go through – but they are pitfalls – you go through and you lose your footings.Then there is a feeling of burning under my feet if I stay – but that is a purification.I see how meaningful it is to just BE with the unsolved situation.”

Allow the “push to fix” to rest – allow the solution to come organically. It will come, when we don’t judge

Kit says: It is Heaven to BE with it – and Hell to try to fix it and be the one who fixes it.

I take a quick trip out of the room to tape a radio program. The first words I hear the announcer say, is: “ A journey through the Heavens – but also through pitch-black Hell.”

 

Today, 5.July -2014

I am working with this lesson 163 in the Course: Death is a thought which takes on many forms, often unrecognized. It may appear as sadness, fear, anxiety or doubt; as anger, faithlessness and lack of trust; concern for bodies, envy, and all forms in which the wish to be as you are not may come to tempt you. All such thoughts are but reflections of the worshipping of death as savior and as giver of release. A Course in Miracles; Lesson 163 – There is no death. The Son of God is Free

Death is the separation thought: that I CAN be without God.

I was listening to Lisa’s audio this morning on week 17 in our training program. I had strong pains in the left side of the body, realized that they were an impossibility in reality, that they were my creation from an identification with ego – and suddenly the mp3 player stopped transmitting sounds. I fiddled with it for a minute and remembered that this means that right now I need to do nothing: just BE with the resistance that is manifesting as this electronic block to listening. I recalled two days ago when both lawn movers died on me- the electricity worked, but not the machines. I realized the sign and just stopped trying to fix it.

Then I fell asleep and dreamed, and when I woke up, it felt important to remember it. I asked for help, relaxed and got nothing. I then listened to the now functioning mp3 player, and came to the place where it had zonked out: Lisa said “ the only appropriate reaction to a Son of God is appreciation.”

AH! Lightening! I realized that I had judged myself when it stopped – just as I had judged myself and the situation when my lawnmowers had stopped working.

Now I instantly approved of myself  -patted my shoulders, stroke my cheeks, talked loving to myself. And NOW I remembered the dream! I could not hear BLUE as long as I was angry at myself and judged myself – as long as I chose fear, Love is not available. The anger was invisible – as long as I identified with it.

The dream showed me in the common state of returning Home – and once again I had too much luggage, and I could not find it. I found only one small rucksack – WHITE – it contained a water bottle and another essential items on the journey: a small journal and pen. All was shining new.

(My old red rucksack is 55 years old, people – time for a new white one!)

Dream-Leelah did not understand that the new white rucksack IS hers. But I do. And there are delicate drawings in it: It points  me to do drawing again each day. I just finished yesterday a big art-project that has taken ½ year, and yesterday I received in my mailbox a book I ordered some months ago:

The awakened eye: A companion volume to The Zen of seeing, seeing/drawing as meditationby Frederick Franck(1979)

Excellent timing once again.

I will draw small things – details: snails. Straw. Grass. Flowers. Twigs. Seeds!

And now – connected to the Self with Joy and gratitude – does the pain seep out, seen as an impossible idea.

And it came back – and I know it is an impossibility from the Place I rest in – so it goes again. And then there is the thought “but what if -“and it returns – could it be clearer? It comes back because I just gave power to the belief of the possibility of “what if -.”

I created it by believing in its possibility.

ALL the power rest in me – what do I choose? What do I WANT TO choose?

The mind cannot oppose Truth and God, but it CAN pretend it is sleeping. Today I will observe where I go asleep – and chose again

Hungry Ghost: seeking for Love in the wrong places

This feels monumental

My good friends Peter and Mary came for dinner. Peter asked “can I have extracreme from that Creme-siphon in the fridge on my dessert?”

Immediately I felt a strong NO-signal. I felt a simmering anger inside – a clear sign to honor that signal from my Self. I drove right over it, smiled and said yes.

He emptied that siphon. He sprayed dollop after dollop on his dessert until it was emptied -and I could not get a sound out.

This is the place in the psyche where we murder our truth. The Self says: Saying YES here allows an unconscious habit to go unnoticed – the belief that love comes from food – sugar and fat above all

The inability to say NO comes from the most stubborn pattern running through most of my lifetimes: if you say no, you are in danger of losing your life .But what that REALLY means is that I believe I am in danger of losing the love from those around me – they will certainly leave if I don’t give big YES to all they want. In my confused ego-thinking I believe that I will die if I don’t get love from from outside – since I also believe that I don’t have LOVE inside – ALL THE TIME.

It’s who I am

I noticed this fully in the night with warm waves of gratitude. Ego tells me that I override and crush MYSELF when not heeding the no-impulse from inside. I am weak, cowardly, shameful. No – correction: the crushing comes when I JUDGE myself for not saying NO.

Saying no is a mistake, not a sin to pay for – and I can choose again whenever I am ready.

Right now the JOY is so tremendous: the pain came from JUDGING my choice not to heed the inner Truth-voice.

God does not judge us for this – why would we?

It is only my judgment of this that creates this horrific fear. I have met this fear in at least 99% of my clients and students. Coincidence: I think not.

The thing is – both Peter and I feel we never have enough. We still try to fill the old bottomless suck for love that the ego felt was not provided: we are hooked into Hungry Ghost *

It feels intensely liberating to pull the projection back from Peter: he is only reflecting back to me my own “there will never be enough”-ghost/addiction. It is THIS part I me I have always feared – and throughout all incarnations projected out on rapists, killers and what have you.

It is just a thought. Believing it is Hell – watching it innocently and turning to Love instead is Heaven.

Since it is not God-created, it has no power of itself. As I withdraw my belief and power, it melts.

With deep gratitude I look at Peter’s pigging out -he is only reflecting what I still think holds value: getting what this body-me needs, outside of Love. Now I take it back and smile at it: it is not serious at all, in Reality it never happened.

Enough is enough

It feels like black asphalt waves are rolling through me, onto the Shores of Home. I see images of birds suffocating in oil-waste – for me a great symbol of how we suffocate the messengers of Truth within our soul with our misuse and waste of energy: human judgment of what IS.

I forgive myself for believing that I am not my Christ Self. I accept and receive the weaves of self-hatred that I earlier have believed is me.

In Reality, nothing happened

 

*From Wikipedia:

Hungry ghost is a Western translation of Chinese  餓鬼 (èguǐ), a concept in Chinese Buddhism and Chinese traditional religion representing beings who are driven by intense emotional needs in an animalistic way.

The Chinese concept is related to the preta in Buddhism more generally.

These beings are “ghosts” only in the sense of not being fully alive; not fully capable of living and appreciating what the moment has to offer.

The English term has often been used metaphorically to describe the insatiable craving of an addict.[1]

 

Sitting with Christ

Everything that has hurt you, you have done out of the belief that you are not safe, not connected to me .Ask me to correct the belief that you are not safe.

When you are becoming aware of any dread of “obligation:” that is just fear speaking. Just brush it away.

I want you to call me Joy today: Causeless Joy, CJ. Do everything WITH me. Sense every molecule to be JOY.

Yes – this is the shift in identification: not from dread and guilt, but from Joy.

I see some tiny morsels at the table and feel I have to brush them away to feel peaceful and safe. Now don’t judge yourself” giggles CJ – Just brush with me. – Look – are they not perfect morsels? So delicate – so innocent?

Indeed they are. One little morsel is a miniature plant of about 2mm.I just need to look with love to see the wonder of it. I remember an artist friend who made a little book about dust and “morsels.” I saw that they were really galaxies – looked at with eyes of wonder.

Can you let everything be as it is, just now?

Can you allow it to be enough?

Christ’s vision

“Am I safe?”

This was the first question John Mark Stroud – One who wakes”from “The Way of Mastery” asked me to ask my Heart/Guidance in our Skype-session. I was asked to go into the Heart and allow guidance to answer me – and he would check if the answers I got were the same that he heard inside. They were. “YES” was the smiling answer from the Heart. This was not debatable:) I sat a little while in that feeling of being safe – or rather, as the One who IS safety.

Then the night came – worst than ever. I had breakfast and my morning Yogi Tea. The label told me: “Stay pure in the midst of impurity.”

Then I called out pr mail to John Mark in the morning. He answered:

“So when you touched and truly felt that I AM SAFE feeling it caused all that within your being that says NO I AM NOT to come flying up into your awareness. If you will allow it the fear will pass out of your being and the I AM SAFE (continue to focus on this) settle in as your truth. The transition can be uncomfortable.

 To Love and embrace is to allow ALL things in peace, coming to see the neutrality of ALL energies. What we abandon is the ego’s judgments of those energies…as you said “really nasty “fear-imprints/thoughtforms/energies” ” It is not the energies that are the issue it is our relationship/resistance to them and the resistance arises only from ego. Of course you know what we resist persists. That is what we abandon the resistance and the egos interpretations and judgments of all things. The “I Am Safe”  or Christ part of you is always present and always at peace no matter what’s going on inside or outside. That is what all are invited to awaken to but we must first dis-identify or abandon our identification with the ego in order to truly awaken to and embody Christ and live and experience creation thru Christ’s vision.”

As my long-time readers will have noticed, this is what I have believed meaning that I do something wrong in my practice and process.

No – it has meant that after having great mind/heart-openings, this have caused “all that within your being that says NO I AM NOT to come flying up into your awareness.

So last night, I knew I wanted to welcome it.I choose to do it, choose to BE the One who receives. There were no difficulties at all. There were a deep tenderness toward all of fear,confusion and pain, and great great gratitude.

Later in the night I woke up, feeling a peculiar inner itching all over – and some relatives’ relationship came into view. After a couple of seconds of hesitation I knew that allowing this to be there – without having any idea about what to do about it  – was all that was requested.

What happened was a clearing of “my” perception to Christ’s Vision.

A cosmic experience started. I saw, in a timeless now, all and everything in my family that were my projections. All of my relatives had played roles I had starred them in, to be showed what was in MY mind. I HAD CREATED THIS, with the Power God has given His Son.

The process was seen as flawless in its perfection: I saw that all the darkness was included, that had to be there for this one – “me”  – to find What was more powerful than that darkness, and identify with That instead. Faces and details of memories/stories were presented, I could smile to everything, laugh at the utter perfection of all the “insane” happenings that made out this magnificent tapestry of imagery and symbols.

“Forgiveness IS the way from the mind to the Heart” said John Mark yesterday.

In my Heart – the One Heart we all share –  is a multitude of Light-beings who just want to share Love for me. They tell me the more I accept and allow, the more Love there is to share.

I now understand why it was just possible to receive just a little the first time I did this – the subconscious knew about the darkness it would bring up. Not  from “my” mind – from the vast collection store-house of insanity in the split mind of the human.

The Miracle came the moment I choose – truly choose to BE THERE as Love for all this denial of Love.

There is so much Joy available in me now

 

Whirlpool

I found this whirlpool-video on FB.

What IS it!!screams ego, and wants to know about the biological reason for this vortex of seeming devastation.

Well – I did Nouk Sanchez’  “invocation of the Miracle, ” ( you find it in her book, and also as an mp3) and learned this:

Seen from Spirit: this is a thought of separation and destruction – believed in, and therefore endowed with the Power that God created us with. What we believe in, we enliven and experience as real – and will be given any form of destruction. The form means absolutely nothing – unless we identify with the ego thought system and the “me” that belongs to it – then it becomes our experience, and very real. But appearances are just that – illusions dreamed up in the name of separation. In this case, we are dreaming up an image of the huge and overpowering Nature and the fragile parts of it being sucked into the abyss. And we all have our special and personal images of what that hell is – and we feed it with our fear.

Which is nothing more than the ego’s enormous fear of being dismantled and sucked down into nothingness.

But the ego IS nothing in itself: it is a thought-system of lies, believed in – and only our sacred power of belief gives it form and appearance as real.

Holy Spirit, I am willing to have this perception healed and corrected.

The turmoil I am feeling in the start of the invocation is the turmoil of doubting the power of God – that is, doubting God Itself, and therefore doubting my Divine Christed Self, created in His Image. This is the very  symbol of the whirlpool in the video.This doubt sucks us down into the hell of denial of our own sacred self, our own True Nature. And as I feel this collective doubt right now in THIS body, I at the same time choose to accept myself RIGHT NOW – inside this whirlpool of false perception. I am not guilty or sinful for believing in lies – but oh how I notice the unpleasant consequences  of those false thoughts.

I forgive myself for using this image of destruction to punish myself – to make myself small and suffering, scared and doubtful, which is what ego wants.

Nouk reminds us that to receive the miracle, we need to want our perception to heal MORE than we want the form to change/heal – since it is my perception of it that creates the form/my world.The darkness and destruction is in my mind – the outer world is just an image of thoughts is my mind that I/ the Son of God/ believes in.

It is only my perception of the whirlpool as A PROBLEM that makes it scary.

Thanks for that reminder, Nouk. That deserved red

Take that label “problem” off: this is just an image I made where I could attach my fear,doubt,guilt and sin-bundle that the ego offers. The ego has ONLY the power I choose to give it.

I allow God’s version of Love to replace my choice for ego’s destruction. I claim my guiltlessness which IS the will of God. I accept Miracles as my inheritance. I accept that now my will is joined with God’s. I accept the my holiness reverses all the laws of the world – because God has given it to me as Christ. I accept that the healing that I asked for, already has taken place – contrary to any appearances remaining.

Looking at the whirlpool now, the former reactions of agony and despair have gone. The deep belief of guilt has gone: nope – I have not caused this: it never happened in reality, just within the collective nightmare we seem to be living in.

Nouk reminds me that God has already healed the cause of the problem/the belief in the separation. Now it’s up to me to truly trust my true Christ identity.

*

I am lying in bed, talking this into my recorder.A bright square appears on the wall in front of me.

DSC01108It is a shadow of a star – the sun just now moved into the window beside my bed. I Immediately smell Blue’s way of playing, jump out of my bed  – and spot the star I have attached on the wall behind my bed:

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Ah! That was a sweet reminder!

Then I realize that this star is NOT the star that I see as a shadow i n the lighted square on the wall. Here is THAT star:

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This is a little journeyer from Tove Jansson’s beloved books about the Moominfamily: The Moomrik. He loves to travel, and never stay at any place where he arrives. It is the Journeying he loves: THIS moment. HERE. And all the ways he appreciates it: the special shade of blue in the sea and clouds. The smell of salt in the air. The silent humming from his leading star:

The Heart

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The original boat with Moomrik is just 2 inches – but I hope you enjoy his expression and joy of the journey

 

 

Meeting

This is the kind of therapy I love to take part in: I love to be present and demonstrate who I am. The I here pointing to Self:) The depth – the honesty – the joy of exploration and inquiry – not to fix or have results, but for the sheer  joy of sharing that space. And it is through this honest presence that I acquire the very essential trust from my patients, which makes healing possible – and often miraculously so. I am not somebody who knows what they have to do to free themselves  – my sheer presence to what they are bringing in to the session is transformational, in the simple way that it draws out of the “patient” her/his own knowing. And this is my deepest wish: to allow the patients to find this ever-present kind and loving Place in their own heart – and help them receive their Self.

I am here in this world to meet you- not fix you.

What I love most is the quality of that Space which opens and embraces us both: all that we need is available NOW.

All kind of false believes are seen and dropped into that Space. Smiled at and seen dissolved.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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