Big Ship Coming – get out of the way

There seems to be something BIG looming on the horizon.

Big creative processes have come to an end:

My manuscript is finished. I will have it back from my editor in September. My first fiction-book!

A soul-gift I have prepared for a friend’s 50 years birthday – which I have working with for 6 months is just finished.

I do not know what lies ahead for me, but it is big

The sharing-sessions between Kit and me  on Skype go right down to the essential: “you are the sky – the rest is just weather”

Sensing in our body how we are taken out of the Now each time we believe in the stories our ME brings up – all the weather – and the repeated discovery of how the Sky is eternally the same, and the sweetness of it

The Now becomes rigid, becomes TIME = past and future, regrets and fear – each time this “person”, this bundle of habits, is given the reigns

We were talking about listening to false ideas and believing in them and  there was a big noise from her place in the city:  a plane, very close  – I experienced it as a symbol of what we were talking about: listening to – not a bird, the symbol of a messenger of spirit. but a mechanical bird – a  man-made “lie”

and in that second I was given the thought “You manifested this”

No, Kit and Leelah did not – but Spirit did – and It also let me know: look out. there will be many more, and powerful. This is the manifesting power of the unified mind.”

Strong emotions coming up lately: wild rage – sitting with it – mixed it with a me and “story” and felt awful – remembering to just witness it as energy, the wild animal we all have inside – my wild black puma stretched herself out in the sun and purred a mighty purr and smiled at me

More and more watching. more and more tenderness – and moments where suddenly some wild energy pours through me and seem to control me completely – but it lasts short –

I visited my homeopath and teacher today – he has given me Sulphur 1m and it feels perfect. And while he was going into stories of himself, I was noticing that I did NOT feel invaded: I listened closely, quite outside of the habitual mode of prison and anger, and commented from a new and wake state

I told him I had no idea about which direction I was going, but it felt awesome and solid and powerful – I just was “a little confused” right now –

Then: two huge sound-signals. I asked him what that was: he told me that there was  a BIG ship  signaling to a little ship that it had to move. The big one could not move out if its direction – so the little one had to, not to be crushed.

We looked at each other and smiled. I told him that now I could relax and stop trying to control my days – I just needed to get out of the way when I was told to:)

the hug today was SO good 🙂

In the garden behind the old house where he works, our Kabbalah group planted a tree as a start of 7 years deep process. I noticed today how tall and wonderful it was, and gave it a long hug. We felt very close 🙂

I walked down to the  City to get my pills. A BIG policeman guided me past two big blocks into the street where  the Ministry of Foreign Affairs had its offices. A shiny black car stopped in front of the block, a window opened and a gray-haired man held  out a hand with an ID. It was thoroughly inspected. The one block that I thought was made of cement was lifted off: it was made of plastic. The car drew through the blocks, and was stopped again 10 feet ahead by another policemen wanting ID. I smiled to the policeman, he smiled back. Some big visitor is obviously expected, and there seems to be fear of terrorism.

I will lift the blocks to Truth when It comes

nothing can stop it

It can’t be killed


In town, I found a very very small garden inside a stone-desert.Here it is:

The Garden

here you can see HOW small it was – and how adorable


















Empty tomb

Guest post from Nichola. Our intention with our work is to allow old blocks to Love to be brought to the Light of Love, or Holy Spirit. This is how Nichola experienced it:

Yesterday I had a Skype session with Leelah.

The first thing I tell her was that I am feeling heavy – the heavy feeling has been with me all day.

The she asks me to describe it – I see a big heavy stone dragging me down, pulling me into the earth.

She asks: If it could be a person or a character what would it be?

I see a cartoon figure – it is a figure from a childhood bible called

Good News for Modern Man I didn’t like those graphics when I was a child.

Leelah ask me where it is:

The figure is sitting on a rock outside of a cave. I realize that it is sitting outside of the tomb of Jesus, but in fact the tomb is empty – it is completely hollow. That is because there never was any Jesus in the tomb, I realize. Nobody died for my sins – that was just a story. My body now feels hollow, like the tomb and the heaviness has dropped away. What a big surprise – nobody died for my sins and I am not guilty – it was just a story (laughing a little and enormously relieved and free feeling.

Leelah asks me if I can invite Love into the hollow tomb and the hollow space in my body.

My arms and legs are filled with golden light and my hands are buzzing with energy – I see that they are holding balls of golden light.

Leelah asks me where I want to put this light and I say into my heart and chest.

When I do this I see that inside the chest is like an abandoned cave – – a broken and sorrowful place.

As I bring the energy in from my hands, torches are lit up on the walls and everything starts to feel more comfortable and soft.

Leelah asks me if I see anyone. I see a woman with long blonde hair lying on a stone bed – at first I wonder if she is dead but I see that she is sleeping.

Leelah asks if she could be me, and I say yes. She is me but also she has been around a long time, a lot longer than me, and these two things do not seem to contradict each other.

Leelah asks is she has anything to say to me and I say yes – she asks me to love myself.


Then Leelah shows me how to be witness for her and I feel a little inadequate but try my best anyway. She is feeling a cold pain and a kind of metal band across her shoulders and a wave of black anger coming up.

Then she sees the tomb and enters it. Lots of hysterical giggling as the tomb is full of playful angels – angels pulling funny faces at her, pulling at their cheeks with their hands. We are both laughing a lot at this – and the idea that this story of our guilt and the tomb is just that – a story that the angels can make such a fun joke about.

After this:

Nichola is sending me 9 empty emails. When I ask her to look what they really say, she tells me that maybe they are 9 empty tombs.


We really need to get it hammered in, don’t we!


The idea of  a Son of God dying to save humanity is alive in Christians. This blog does not in any way want to mock the Christian religion – or any religion at all – just present Leelah’s path to awakening. That started in Protestantism, went deep into Catholicism, then into Mystery Schools of Kabbalah, Sufism and Advaita Vedanta. In those years I experienced these traditions in my own life, and one brought me harmoniously into the next – until I ended up with A Course in Miracles which shows us in clear detail the difference between illusions and reality.  Reality, The Course holds, is our Oneness with God – and the world with its individuals and thought-system of separation belongs to the Dream we all are dreaming – where the seemingly separated persons are nothing else than an outer picture of wrong-minded thoughts. As we notice these thoughts and forgive them, the outer world will start to mirror our healed state of mind, and the consequence is that we start to see through the old stories of pain, punishment and darkness.

The Course hold also that it is just one of hundreds thought-systems/religions which all will take us Home – the Course just lets us know that it is the fastest way. And I do want that 🙂

the crystal which speaks truth

For long periods through the last painful night, I felt my desire to never be without Love, to have everything and feel everything WITH Love.It felt like I had not understood what separation was before – that feeling lonely and forlorn and scared was the same as believing separation had happened and was real. I slowly felt my will waking up, and the agony abated somewhat.

Then I dreamt that I was at an enormous New Age-like Convention (:-)), and told a friend that I had just had a dream where I saw two wondrous beings, a man and a woman – and they wore nothing else than a bearskin and a wolf-skin. They exuded health and joy. Some of my earlier teachers are there – and a man who is a buyer of costly objects and gives them to others who need them. One of these objects is a big crystal-like object. It is set with rubies, emeralds, amethysts, silver, pearls and gold – and it has a midsection where there is something that looks like letters. They move and change as I look at them, and I understand that these are writings direct from Love Itself: this is Truth expressing itself. Somehow this is an Egyptian object, I am told.

(you have to visualize the colors!)

My heart opens in great longing to have these words of Truth available always – and the exquisite Joy of being close to this beauty.

The man who has bought this object is named Hans – which means “His” in English. He leaves for a while, and I borrow it, and sit with it while It is writing Truth on all facets of the crystal. Hans comes back, and I tell him I borrowed it, and what happened with the truth-writing. He tells me that I can have it! It is mine! It is a crystal that belonged to his Master, and it can only belong to those who truly love it. I wonder if I am worthy of such a gift, and we all witness the crystal move by itself toward me, as if I was a magnet for it. It feels a bit like when your beloved child comes running to you, and you feel the love between you, and the great joy.

I am then in a new room, where I view my earlier teacher in Kabbalah – a man of great strength and joy do a practical joke on a friend: the friend is catching a ball, and is overturning a big basket of wheat-kernels. They are dried, and are making a delicious sound.

Now I am in a very filled up bus/train, where a lot of joyous and happy people are going to visit a young couple in love. The atmosphere is brimming with joy and laughter – it feels like Heaven.

Waking up, filled with joy and Love. The body is painful and heavy, and I allow Love to gently shine through whatever needs it.

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

%d bloggers like this: