How Hilaryon Stories happened

About 11 years ago I participated in a writer group on a Harper Collins digital platform for budding authors, called Authonomy. We wrote Flash Fiction ( max 1000 words)each week, and voted for the one we liked best.

As soon as I wrote  what is now the first chapter in Hilaryon Stories, I felt deeply hooked into the material. A door had opened, there was playfulness and freedom and JOY inside, and my voice was intimately joined with the text.

Later I wrote more chapters from Hilaryon, and recognized that I would write a novel.

I was deeply in love with my main character, Croc, who turned out to be a reincarnation of the old Egyptian Master Imhotep – physician, architect and spiritual master.

I ended what is now the first part of the book 4 years ago.  I missed the characters very much – and after 2 years I could not stand it, and asked Spirit, “what would be a great theme for part 2?” “Would you consider to explore the energies of the Old Testament  – ha, the word correction gnome wrote the old Statesman! 🙂 the feud of power and hatred between Ramses and Moses? and that old version of God, of course –

YES, I would like to do that – I wanted to find out how  that God could accept murdered babies as a way to prove his power over Ramses. The idea was to just write and TRUST that the chapters somehow would work all of this out. And the Part Two opened with Johan Sebastian Bach ( who entered the book in the middle of Part One) being thrown out in the cold by his third wife.

When I had said a clear YES, magic  and synchronicities started to happen – which made me sure I was on the right track.


If you click on the book in the right menu, you may find out if this is for you. No way Spirit has planned this for me, Leelah, alone 🙂


A way to Healing chronic illness/disorders

More on Dragons and Princesses – the 7 week online play-shop I will lead, starting January 1st.

“Dragons” relate to illnesses and “chronic problems” we seem to have – and how we will deal with them instead of “trying to heal” them.

When we change our relations to our wounds – our illness, our pain – we give it the space it needs where it can open up – be seen playfully and with wonder – and therefore be transformed. As long as we hate it and want to fix it, we prevent it from moving and changing – because we have judged it as bad and “shouldn’t be here.”
The more we try to “heal it”, the more we cramp around it, the more resistance is created around it. And then we judge and resist the resistance…no wonder the dragons hold on tight to their treasures.

Just being with it – playfully – creates an extension of the soul you wouldn’t have found if the “illness” had not come to you. This is grace and this is strength: no more victimhood, but an opportunity to open up to look at it differently – with playfulness and “not knowing.”

Only then will the dragon tiptoe out of the darkness – no longer attacking us with flames and horrible sounds – and the princesses will become visible.

Please notice: no expectations for “artistic results.” You need not have any former experience – I assure you, when we just meet up with our willingness and trust in Spirit, magic happens – and also wonderful synchronicities.

Wanna play?
Registration for Dragons and Princesses started 15th of November – just pay a deposit on 500 NOK (= ca 50 GBP) to PayPal – The rest – 1250 NOK – is paid 20th of January 2018 – or the date that most of you get paid from your job 🙂

Any questions: please ask in the comments here.



Resistance – a door to Heaven

Had a great regression session yesterday with a friend. The guidance coming through me was so loving and light-filled, and my friend released guilt and false beliefs.

The night was filled with tremendous cramps, and the morning after it felt like I was manipulated by pure hatred and contempt. I was well aware that I am not a victim of this – somehow I must believe that “this” is valuable and to be preferred over God’s Love. Amazing, but there it is: What we believe to be true, we create – and we create it WITH God’s immense power.

What is the gift in this? What is the opportunity to see here?

I go to Jayem’s website and there’s the answer:

Take a breath or several, and say out loud… ‘this obstacle is coming up for healing now.  Thank God!  It will hinder me no longer!’  Take a breath, observe what you feel, and repeat, until you notice the nervous system feels ‘complete’, as it settles in as truth. And healing is a release from the trapped energy that “holds” us away from the Self/Christ Mind. Stay with the terms exactly as they are given, and ALLOW these stuck places to emerge, breathe, and feel.  This alone will carry you into new illuminations about what these terms signify.  In short, Jeshua is a masterful teacher, and NOTHING he says, or terms chosen, is ever by accident.  Trust the teacher to carry the student into and through what the student has not found his or her way through as yet. You will recall from ACIM that He accomplished the Atonement, and thus it is done for us already.... now it’s just our willingness to accept or melt away into the truth He manifested

I had a session with Kit, and we talked about what happens when we “quarrel with reality.” Pain and discomfort, unexpected glitches, sickness and so on – as long as I believe it should not have happened, I am stuck in my endless stories about it and cannot see it with Christ’s loving vision. I realize that as long as I seem to be inside that maelstrom of cramps and pain, there is no trust at all in a Love that can embrace me AND the pain.

It is also clear that this pain – and whatever fuels it in my mind – must be allowed to have a space, without condemning it – or me.

So I have to know: there is a time to just BE WITH “hell” – and there is a time when to do the work I do in my work with regressions: supporting people to find out, with their own guide and Master at their side, what they are believing about themselves, and therefor are imbuing with guilt and self hatred. It is THIS that fuels ANY pain we have: what we tell ourselves about what we experience. The experience itself is always neutral – and only when we start our stories about it, with “me” as the main role, the tremendous power that God has given his Holy Son = US – flows through the story we have made: because we tell ourselves that we are right, and our perception is true.


If pain is involved, it simply isn’t.

For healing to happen in our mind, it is not enough to “know” what happened mentally – we need to experience forgiveness go through us.

What I see myself telling myself – constantly, like a stuck tape – is: “I CANT MAKE IT through this pain. I simply cannot “get there” – “there” being where freedom and forgiveness and Love is.

There is an abysmal grief inside this – and THIS is what I want to BE with.

As I stated in the start of this blog – I write this mainly for myself – and you will see me visiting the same places until I get it.

If somebody else can benefit, I am happy.

Nice PC-magic:Right now “Systems mechanics” gave a message that an important installation is up for downloading. I clicked the download-button, and an ugly sound and sign told me that this was impossible to do. I recognized the mirror of the big resistance I am writing about here, and instantly allowed it to be here, forgiving myself and embracing myself for being right here, now. 5 seconds later a new sign – as if nothing had happened: “ Are you willing to install the new download now?”

These electronic signs from Jesus are such gifts. Humoristic, and SO elegantly timed. The minute I accepted being with the resistance, without listening to the threatening stories about being stuck in hell, hell melted and the new download happened.


3 time: CORRECT LINK to Magic Journey

1 Follow me

For the third time I have attached a link here to the magic journey. I failed  before to click the correct box for having the photos publicly shown There is also a opportunity for me to write this intro to the photo-journey:a dear friend told me that at first she found some of the photos chaotic and destructive. I need to talk about that here:

The first sign for me that I was entering a guided “magical” journey and exploration, was my own shadow, waving for me – and when i noticed it and took a photo of it, I knew something was brewing – and then i turned and saw that i was standing in front of a gate into the wood – a potent symbol if it ever was one.’The first symbols and photos brought me in touch with mother nature and a wonderful grounded feelings. The rays of light that was seen through th camera felt mysterious and awe inspiring, the wood transformed itself.

Then I was standing in front of the tagged concrete wall. I went closer, and saw “jeg elsker karoline” in the middle – “I love Karoline.”

It was then that I saw all the police tape circling a big area – and wanted to see what that was about.

My first impression was destruction and chaos too – but something inside insisted on seeing everything here as with Christ’s perception = Love. I took a lot of photos as the Love grew, and the fun thing they day after was finding good titles to the works of “Pie” – the main artist.

For me, coming in to that with police-tape, was to enter a story of somebody who bubbled with creativity and mounted their work on trees. The signs of trying to rise structures and build bridges touched me deeply, and for me it was  feelings laid bare – like cries for help, and also anger for not having any outlet for this creativity elsewhere. me – but with nakedness, straightness, wildness, punk if you will 🙂

Entrance to magic experience

2 Entrance through gateYesterday I had an enchanting experience. I took a lot of photos You will find them all on my Flickr-site when I have uploaded them there. This is just the entrance through the gate – and a video I took of moving water and still stones

And – as new physics tells us – the awareness of what we observe influence what we observe: this perfect shining yellow leaf landed  right in my video-view as i was standing there, intensely present and enjoying.

The experience that followed…I discovered a  collection of modern art, placed and made there, in the wood. It feel like  being an archaeologist at an excavated burial place of a surrealistic village: strange totems were tied to trees – with Police-tape! ( which became a great part of the art)  On some places had the art collapsed and was almost covered by leaves and fir needles.

Odd objects had been carried into this place: heavy wooden benches – two public garbagecans, (empty – used to paint on) –  a bright new and red soccergoal -!and on the forest-floor, the artists’ tools,well used: empty spray cans

The Tibetan dream

After the session with Kit yesterday, where we noticed the peace and release of just noticing/looking where we were, with no judging, I woke up today with a strong dream.

I am in Tibet – for me the symbol of unfailing faith in Spirit. There are also in Buddhism many lineages and  yogic traditions where “magic” is taught: among others, levitation. In a big room, there is a woman lying on the floor. Suddenly she slides toward me – then slides back again. This repeats itself until it dawns on me that I am the one who has the power to draw her to me or push her away. “What an awesome power I have!”

When I later write the dream down, do I realize that the pulling  towards or pushing away are two ways of resistance: in Buddhism called attachment or aversion. Both stresses that there exists an I that can be the chooser.

So my practice is now to notice – look – at when I am either pulling towards me or pushing away. It is easy, because the energy of it is unpleasant. I also become aware of how strong the personality – the little self – becomes.

I will be gentle and kind toward myself and allow everything else to flow from that.

In Swedish radio this morning, they are sending a daily  direct sent program called “Wish”. They have dedicated it to the victims of  22.July 2011, and tell us that we can call in on an answering machine and make wishes for music. I call in and leave my wish for a Danish lullaby I love. Turn on “Wish” again – and hear the same guitar accompaniment as in my wish. It has the same feel and atmosphere,and even the exact same 4 notes in the start. It is called ” The Girl in the Tree” and it comforts me.

The Wisher of this song said she wanted to give comfort to us.

She did.

They also played Górecki’s “Symphony No 3 – Symphony of Sorrowful Songs. I found it on YouTube, and find it profoundly comforting.

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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