Big shift

Recently, I had 3 whole days and nights where everything was noticed, accepted and letting go of – and everything simultaneously. There were no identification, no struggle or stress, no resistance – just being aware that this came through me to be surrendered. Then – after having trusted God/Self to take care of it, it felt like sinking back into all-loving arms, just noticing what went on in the body. And since there were no stories at all, there were no pain or suffering – just sensations, neutral, non-judged. The old suffering identity had disappeared.Then the old patterns sneaked back – and I remembered that these golden days HAD happened, and I was not willing to give up or fall back into old tracks. Today, it is much easier again. It is simply my trust that has grown. It seems like a big shift, but it might really have been a gradual process.

Then, this morning,I asked H.S how it would feel like if I truly let go of all tensions in the body – what would happen? What I experienced was many pains and sensations, some only a millisecond long- and after a while i feel asleep, and met David Bowie. He was dismantling a sort of time-machine,and I watched as he became younger, it was fun and we had a great time. Then he kissed me brotherly on the lips and took his machine, and I told him “Now I can tell people that David Bowie kissed me!”I felt very special and “chosen”, and he grinned and disappeared.

Lingering in my mind when i got up was an old feeling that I have explored lately – and I see is a collective one: a feeling of deep hopelessness and powerlessness. It had its center in my navel, and that gave me the idea that it was inherited by birth. The essence of it was “being taken for granted.” I wanted to practice The Emotion Code – a way to find trapped emotions in the bodymind -and many of those turn out to be inherited. Working with dowsing / a pendulum/ I found that it was from my mother’s ancestral line,  in 1941 – and it had to do with a shock that sent waves down in about 90 generations further down the line to me now, in 2016, now explored in this bodymind. I did the procedure with the magnet – the theory is that all traumas that are not solved and forgiven – or, as i found out, not DIGESTED fully – sit in our electromagnetic field/aura. Using the magnet I felt a good rush and release.

About it needing to be digested…I explored what we may have told ourselves ( WE meaning Jews at this point during the war – it was a massacre) – and there was a common strong belief saying “we must have deserved this” meaning we believed we were being punished, and that it was just. And this strong belief of not being worthy – a cornerstone of the ego thought-system – were being “explained” and justified to ourselves.It is this belied – HA, wonderful typo for belief – that I needed to sit with and sense in the body.

Before me on the table was The Way of The Servant by Jayem. I opened it randomly and read “the radiance of our union.” And I said out loud, ” I allow this old wound of being taken for granted with no value to be outshined by the radiance of our Union.”

Just as I had done for those three days – allowing
Christ to do it FOR me /through me / as me.

I suggest that a lot of stuff that is going on for people is inherited, and that we are the ones who have decided to allow it to be transformed through us.

If you are interested in The Emotion Code, you can find free charts on the web, and there are ways to learn muscle testing or dowsing at YouTube.

Edit/Delete Message

Going Home/being HERE

Todays post is answers to lesson 6 in “The Jewel of the Christ Mind Course”   a one year online Course. The bold blue quotes are from Jesus/Jeshua

The essence of coming to Presence as I see it:
1) STOP and come back to NOW
2)Breathe, and remember Who is breathing
3) Notice without judging, with interested curiosity – embracing it

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3 questions for the Christ Child:

Precious child I love, how can I support you?

Allow warmth to come into this cold. Breathe LovesBreath into it

What do you most need from me?

To BE WITH ME and embrace me – and not only to sit with and breathe: To play, to experiment with art – poetry,stories,dance,textiles,music,movement -to experience being one with creation instead of being the part you project all your horrors on to

Is there any change I could make that would allow you to flower even more?

Take a session with Zach Rehder for help with really being with these energies- and learn to accept gifts.

( An editor just offered me his service for free – and I notice that I think that IF I accept it, he will secretly be displeased, and the grievance will turn to hatred, and then he will come and attack me.)

I notice the strong link I have built in my mind between men’s ill-will with me ( which means I must conform 100% to their expectations) and then a sudden brutal and vicious attack. I have worked with this complex consciously since I was 23 in all kind of therapies and trainings and being initiated into many traditions – and 25 years as therapist with my patients and myself. My book When Fear Comes Home to Love is the result of that – and still this strong energetic link is felt in my nervous system between the thought of being FREE and visible to violent attack and there is always insanity connected to this attack.
*
This must be the experience I most need to be having right now, as more of Christ Mind is birthing into, and through me.

Something in me truly knows this to be true. Which means that all those insane and violent attacks I was forced to participate in as a small child and, and also to be forced into the role of perpetrator to make me guilty and one of “them” – this is where the Christ Mind NOW can be birthed into, and explore the healing that is available HERE TOO. Writing this, a wave of gratitude comes – how glad I am that this HAS happened and that I HAVE these experiences now – so I can allow the Light that I am as Christ to embrace all those energies, suffuse them, transform them.

Here are three images I painted years ago of exactly this: I knew it then too, but have worked to integrate it all the years since then.

bare kom du 11) Red attacks the Blue/Christ –

absorpsjon 22) The Blue embraces it, it starts to dissolve –

stadier i omfavnelse 3 og 43 and 4) The dissolutions continues, and in the fourth stage, the attack-energy has become a Menorah –

I have needed a lot of time to birth this – smiling

“There have been no wrong turns on your journey. You have never failed, and you have never sinned.”

Icecold. Spacing out. Breathing. Strong wishes of retaliating, making the others suffer as they make me. Deep and venomous hatred.

“There have been no wrong turns on your journey. You have never failed, and you have never sinned.”

Deep yawning, the sickness abates. I bless the energy within the sickening forms, invite it Home in my Blue Christness – chest warm, whole lower body ice cold – breathing into it – surrendering to it now –
“I” am not doing this, Christ is doing it through Leelah – I hear screams from massacres and battlegrounds, from concentration camps and machete slaughterings – from everybody that perceives themselves to be righteously mistreated and wants to stop it with any means at all —-

Deep doubts: I have done this for 27 years, and still I feel the fear of being visible –

And the answer:: “and for each time you have been willing, one more piece of it has been integrated”

WOW! what a gift: when I copied this over from a word-doc, that one sentence was left out – so i had to return to the original and really take this in: “and for each time you have been willing, one more piece of it has been integrated”

A tremendous hateful part hisses to me, DO NOT HOPE!!!

There is Love all around that, (just as the pictures show,) and now my belly is warm. – That’s where the “haterer” is – yawning – “I WILL not hope and be shocked again – and again – when I have opened up – it is torture”

Sweetie, I am right here, take all the time you want to get use to this space

“There have been no wrong turns on your journey. You have never failed, and you have never sinned.”

WOW! Looking at the doc I am writing now, I discover that I have repeated that quote from Jeshua three times – and each time I have believed, “that is a great quote, I want that here – – -and not discovered I have already written it down twice before

There has been no separation at all … our resistances, judgments, and especially our guilt, occurred because we thought what was going on was different than what was and eternally is, going on. (Jeshua,Jewel Course.)

Sitting with that, allowing it take root

“You have heard it said this world is a world of shadows. It is not just a metaphor.
It happens to be true. While shadows are illusory, it does not follow that they be left untransformed.
For what you leave untransformed retains the power to bind you in its spell. It will continue to do so, until YOU decide to learn who you are by being the power of Love‟s Presence that heals all things.” . (Jeshua,Jewel Course.)

*
Wonder Questions:

1. What are three significant experiences you have believed you should not have had?
(Be vigilant against assuming these are just ‘negative’ experiences. When faced with overwhelming joy, “luck”, others’ gratitude, or miracles, don’t we often shake our heads, hold our breath, and try to deflect or minimize it????)

I have sat this the whole week. Many has presented itself, but the answer is always: None. Without everything, I would not have had the experiences and the learnings I have

2. What is it that you have found most difficult to trust?

That even when the experiences feels excruciating, they are NOT “wrong” – I am not wrong – they are pathways into human darkness and ignorance as soon as I don’t judge my small self for having them – for not being “worthy.” – Oh there’s a lot of that going on –

3. Do you trust, really trust , your Creator?

My ca 2o A4 journals filled with my images and processes show me that God is always available in every situation. I DO really trust my Creator –
It is ME I don’t trust – God’s One Son, choosing to judge myself for what happens to me – seeing it as character-faults that takes away my God-given worth, making me wrong,making others wrong – not recognizing they are me in disguise, mirroring back to me what I need to see and lift in to forgiveness and innocence

And right now, after writing this down in one go, seeing that I am trusted to do the best I can to wake up –

I bless myself in my ability to choose love
I bless myself in my true nature
I bless myself in my willingness to hang in here

AMEN

 

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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