Sore Thumb

This morning I am musing over what I have called “ The False Helper” inside – that part of us who finds her worth through helping others. Nothing wrong in helping – but the premise is false: our worth is given us by God, and only we can remove it by believing our scary thoughts.

Yesterday at bed time, it felt like my right thumb just crumbled and broke. I “saw” inside that the bones were in bits, and terror started its course: “you should have taken the Osteoporosis medicine! This is all your stupid fault! “ Instead of directly going to the Source by being still and breathing and asking for help to see this as Christ does, I agonized. Cause something in me thinks “this is me.” That something is addicted to the “me” that suffers. And so what cleared up this confusion this time was the reminder “ this is A PART OF ME” that thinks and feels it is broken, unrepairable, hopeless – and I am the observer of that part, I can be with it, find where it sits in the body, how old it is, talk to it: “ I see you, I am here to support you, I am not going anywhere…What are you here to tell me, to show me? Where are you in my body? What do you express through having that symptom? What do you need?

That part has feelings that has been denied and repress, maybe even dissociated. When it can speak and express, and we listen with deep compassion, it heals. There are no shoulds and oughtos from the Observer -us – who might feel like a wise Fairy Godmother. “ OF COURSE you would feel like that. Of course you would hate that person. Of course you could not say anything at that time when it happened – that would not have been safe. Is that true?” And we just listen and listen, it is a PART of us that speaks, she has been made up by our beliefs and our family’s beliefs  and our cultures beliefs about what is important and necessary.

But this bundle of thoughts and beliefs still stick with us until we turn around and embrace it.

I have a million of parts. It does not really matter what they have been doing, the soul has wanted experience. It has learned through us what the consequences are. Now it has learned and can choose again. But first I must listen to those parts with love, dialogue with them. And as an artist, my favorite way of doing that is to create images of the feelings and allow stories to come – so there need not be so much “figuring out” to do.

Back to the sore thumb -Jeshua tells me in this month’s lesson in Way of Knowing that the very tough situation/feeling we think we are in, can be the very stepping stone into Love: I now see the consequences of choosing separation and I can choose again.  “ OH” How great! I see the sore thumb as a metaphor of the thought “ I am broken!” There is a part of me who thinks she is broken, and she is fusing with me, identifying with me – I ask her gently to de-fuse so I can see her clearly. Then I can listen and support her in whatever she is feeling, letting her know that those feelings were the exact feelings to feel in that situation – hate, fear, rage. Whatever – of COURSE you would feel like that. What would you have needed most in that situation? Could you express that?” and so on.

And for the thousandth time, I see how that PART of me created a safe identity for herself – by paying attention to others’ needs instead of her own, which she stuffed away. Huge love for that part. Of course she did that – what a great way to survive in that family.

I watch her stomping and raging and screaming right now, and I encourage her to do just that. She calms down after a while, and can now sense the Love around her. Which is the Love and safety that is always there , under all my judgment.

With the thumb here, I realize that that time this part/child felt crushed and broken and fragmented, she thought she was without help from God, and she thought she was guilty and deserved it, and therefore she was wrong and hateful. Seeing these thoughts now can be the very stepping-stones to turning it around: Oh I love that this thumb seems broken – without it, I would not have seen where it comes from in my mind! This is amazing! I appreciate you, thumb, I can love that “broken part” with all my heart, and I can DECIDE to ask for help now to see all of this differently – thank you Spirit for setting this up.I will decide what I will perceive. –And then Jeshua writes: “ Appreciation and Love and limitlessness require the Universe ( including our bodymind) to show up in a different way.”

Yes please! Send it right over

So exactly THAT which I want to avoid –  emotions, terror, pain, problems –  is with Jeshua THAT place where I now can choose Love instead.

The thumb is a bit sore, but inside it looks whole and healthy. Great healthy bones.

A Grateful Day

I got this this morning, and want to share…the images makes me feel so warm and welcomed in the world – i wish this for you all too –

I will later today post an invitation to a healing 7-week seminar – about how we can relate to illness and stuck problems in a playful and creative way that may transform them. Our common presence in a Closed Facebook group will also be of great importance.

But first –  Brother David 🙂

To resist or not to resist, that is the question

For five days and nights now, I have been in Heaven.

Each judgment has been met with kindness – gratitude, even – because there has been a radiant clarity that this is only coming up to be seen, neutrally – judgments included. Each time I have sensed a resistance to something, the same instant gratitude has arisen too: this is here so that Christ can bless this part in the mind through me, as me.

The gratitude bowled me over: I saw absolutely everything that arose in the mind as gifts, as a place where I now accepted God into those places to do all the healing.

Today I seemed to be back to the old ego-ways. I found myself struggling with “problems” and having to solve them “on my own” – and only after all kinds of silly reactions from people and PC did I recognize where I was at. Just caught in the old pattern of doing things without God.

It felt difficult at first to get back to that joyous simple way of being again, but it worked. I reminded myself to relax into the tense places in the body and just hang out with whatever presented itself – and when resistance and judgments arose, I reminded myself that exactly that could be accepted as something that I DID NOT have to fix on my own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Healing our view of the world

This is Tapas Fleming, one of the great spiritual teachers on this globe. She has truly demonstrated how to heal herself and to see herself as God has created us – and we who have learned this simple method are in awe of its practicality and simplicity – and its efficiency to change what is not beneficial, into health and happiness. I can’t count the times when doing TAT has changed for good sickness and pain – and negative habits and conditions – in my life.

Doing this video, you will join with thousands of people and TAT-practitioners all over the world who use this very simple method of doing a pose and stating certain beliefs/statements, while holding certain acupressure points that help the bodymind process what you say.

I cried all the way through doing this – the feeling of connecting to our true nature is tremendous for me.

(The method is freely down loadable on www.TATlife.com

 Click on “How to do TAT on a stressful event” and get the method for free in your mailbox.)

http://myhome.tatlife.com/home/24va/order

Whirlpool

I found this whirlpool-video on FB.

What IS it!!screams ego, and wants to know about the biological reason for this vortex of seeming devastation.

Well – I did Nouk Sanchez’  “invocation of the Miracle, ” ( you find it in her book, and also as an mp3) and learned this:

Seen from Spirit: this is a thought of separation and destruction – believed in, and therefore endowed with the Power that God created us with. What we believe in, we enliven and experience as real – and will be given any form of destruction. The form means absolutely nothing – unless we identify with the ego thought system and the “me” that belongs to it – then it becomes our experience, and very real. But appearances are just that – illusions dreamed up in the name of separation. In this case, we are dreaming up an image of the huge and overpowering Nature and the fragile parts of it being sucked into the abyss. And we all have our special and personal images of what that hell is – and we feed it with our fear.

Which is nothing more than the ego’s enormous fear of being dismantled and sucked down into nothingness.

But the ego IS nothing in itself: it is a thought-system of lies, believed in – and only our sacred power of belief gives it form and appearance as real.

Holy Spirit, I am willing to have this perception healed and corrected.

The turmoil I am feeling in the start of the invocation is the turmoil of doubting the power of God – that is, doubting God Itself, and therefore doubting my Divine Christed Self, created in His Image. This is the very  symbol of the whirlpool in the video.This doubt sucks us down into the hell of denial of our own sacred self, our own True Nature. And as I feel this collective doubt right now in THIS body, I at the same time choose to accept myself RIGHT NOW – inside this whirlpool of false perception. I am not guilty or sinful for believing in lies – but oh how I notice the unpleasant consequences  of those false thoughts.

I forgive myself for using this image of destruction to punish myself – to make myself small and suffering, scared and doubtful, which is what ego wants.

Nouk reminds us that to receive the miracle, we need to want our perception to heal MORE than we want the form to change/heal – since it is my perception of it that creates the form/my world.The darkness and destruction is in my mind – the outer world is just an image of thoughts is my mind that I/ the Son of God/ believes in.

It is only my perception of the whirlpool as A PROBLEM that makes it scary.

Thanks for that reminder, Nouk. That deserved red

Take that label “problem” off: this is just an image I made where I could attach my fear,doubt,guilt and sin-bundle that the ego offers. The ego has ONLY the power I choose to give it.

I allow God’s version of Love to replace my choice for ego’s destruction. I claim my guiltlessness which IS the will of God. I accept Miracles as my inheritance. I accept that now my will is joined with God’s. I accept the my holiness reverses all the laws of the world – because God has given it to me as Christ. I accept that the healing that I asked for, already has taken place – contrary to any appearances remaining.

Looking at the whirlpool now, the former reactions of agony and despair have gone. The deep belief of guilt has gone: nope – I have not caused this: it never happened in reality, just within the collective nightmare we seem to be living in.

Nouk reminds me that God has already healed the cause of the problem/the belief in the separation. Now it’s up to me to truly trust my true Christ identity.

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I am lying in bed, talking this into my recorder.A bright square appears on the wall in front of me.

DSC01108It is a shadow of a star – the sun just now moved into the window beside my bed. I Immediately smell Blue’s way of playing, jump out of my bed  – and spot the star I have attached on the wall behind my bed:

DSC01111 (2) - Kopi

Ah! That was a sweet reminder!

Then I realize that this star is NOT the star that I see as a shadow i n the lighted square on the wall. Here is THAT star:

DSC01116

This is a little journeyer from Tove Jansson’s beloved books about the Moominfamily: The Moomrik. He loves to travel, and never stay at any place where he arrives. It is the Journeying he loves: THIS moment. HERE. And all the ways he appreciates it: the special shade of blue in the sea and clouds. The smell of salt in the air. The silent humming from his leading star:

The Heart

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The original boat with Moomrik is just 2 inches – but I hope you enjoy his expression and joy of the journey

 

 

The grace of receiving the blubb

W-pI.181.5.  7 We enter in the time of practicing with one intent; to look upon the sinlessness within.

LESSON 181.

I trust my brothers, who are one with me.

W-pI.181.8.  2 For what we seek to look upon is really there. 3 And as our focus goes beyond mistakes, we will behold a wholly sinless world. 4 When seeing this is all we want to see, when this is all we seek for in the name of true perception, are the eyes of Christ inevitably ours. 5 And the Love He feels for us becomes our own as well. 6 This will become the only thing we see reflected in the world and in ourselves.

I started my practice today with this lesson: training the mind to look for Self and essence in my daughter and ONLY that. I noticed that the blubb placed itself between us again and again – and for the first time I was revealed to me that seeing the blubb as a portal to truth was salvation.

Holy Spirit has completely turned my perception around: what before was seen as something demonic and very threatening is now seen as an opportunity to embrace deeply exiled stuff from my mind: invited back into my heart, it is felt with great gratitude and release, and my daughter’s Self is shining right through it.

I remember this quote from Jack Kornfield, that I wrote in Introduction to my book:

“Finally, as our wisdom deepens, we understand that our very problems and poisons are our best teachers. It is said that the wisest beings will come looking for this poisonous tree to use its fruit as medicine to transform the suffering of the world.”

From After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfeld. [1]


[1]   Jack Kornfield: After the ecstasy, the laundry. Bantam (October 2, 2001)

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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