Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -bug

I got you!

I am only 69. Give me a break. I got it now: that lil bugger, sitting on the left side of the head, stretching down into the left side.

i got you!

You are the inner push: “i WILL-  I  M U S T   finish this NOW.”

Right now it means finishing simplifying my desktop, even though I felt a clear sign of “enough.” The enough said: enough doing. Now just allow yourself to be i n the sun and silence. The bug : ” you CAN’T let this stay looking messy.” And “You HAVE TO fisnish what you hgave started NOWNOWNOOOW”

Aha. Obsessive Compulsive symptom.

Typos? Great tool to use to catch the obsessiveness when it comes. Now I spot it  as an abrupt and harsh iron grip of muscles, a sickening head-ache – just empty as long as I don’t give it meaning and “importance.”

Wow. I just understood the Buddhist term emptiness.

EVERY”THING” is empty until I give it meaning

A want to share this with my fellow life-travelers. I just sit with it, witnessing the story of threats: you DIE if you don’t do this. You lose any trace of love if you don’t do this now. Ah, and this: “You lose respect from all of US when you leave this mess.”

Really? I mean,REALLY?

What a silly bug you are.

Oh the tensons dissipating. Oh you HAVE to correct that typo!

No.

I just sit here enjoying the tensions melting, and the stiffening and headaches in the left side just being allowed and witnessed and blessed and forgiven on the way out.

I as mind made this to “protect” myself at some time. And until now it has gone unnoticed

A nd I notice that this is what invisibly has stopped me from resting in God as a practice: as soon as I have sat dwon to do that, this invisible bugger has said(not heareble before now:)

And if you don’t feel or hear Him, he just isn’t there – but I AM HERE FOR YOU BABE

You old control troll

You have to get rid of all of this NOW!!!

No. You are dismissed. It is my pleasure to catch you when you visit today: just stop whatever I am doing, not judging, forgive myself for my creation, welcoming you as energy, embracing you,freeing you from any role,blessing you with the blessing of Christ

And….

no

that can wait:)

Kill or be killed

There is a place i n A Course in Miracles which says:

“T-16.VI.8. Fear not that you will be abruptly lifted up and hurled into reality. 2 Time is kind, and if you use it on behalf of reality, it will keep gentle pace with you in your transition. 3 The urgency is only in dislodging your mind from its fixed position here. 4 This will not leave you homeless and without a frame of reference. 5 The period of disorientation, which precedes the actual transition, is far shorter than the time it took to fix your mind so firmly on illusions. 6 Delay will hurt you now more than before, only because you realize it <is> delay, and that escape from pain is really possible. 7 Find hope and comfort, rather than despair, in this: You could not long find even the illusion of love in any special relationship here. 8 For you are no longer wholly insane, and you would soon recognize the guilt of self-betrayal for what it is.”

Another one:W-328.1. What seems to be the second place is first, for all things we perceive are upside down until we listen to the Voice for God. 2 It seems that we will gain autonomy but by our striving to be separate, and that our independence from the rest of God’s creation is the way in which salvation is obtained. 3 Yet all we find is sickness, suffering and loss and death. 4 This is not what our Father wills for us, nor is there any second to His Will. 5 To join with His is but to find our own. 6 And since our will is His, it is to Him that we must go to recognize our will.

These quotes point to the fact that  the place  from which the human is looking at itself is something that is terrified of heaven and of Oneness. The Course teaches us in 365 lessons  how to undo this thought-system of terror, belonging to the ego, so we can gradually change our mind and realize that Love has nothing but Love to offer – the horrors we project on Love are our own guardians against  our true identity.

I had a dream this night where a little being crept into my childhood home ( the place in my mind where I keep that home “safe” from changes since it is “mine”.) It was strange-looking but sweet and I wanted to protect it.I put it tenderly in  a sunspot on the floor and it went to sleep.

A bit later the dream-me knew she had to fly from danger, and she wanted to take the little being/spirit with her -and the instant she took it in her hand to save it, it frantically and automatically attacked. Its little teeth were piranha-sharp: if her hand had been in front of them, it would have been mashed to porridge in seconds.

This is the ego- thought system. It sees the loving hand that wants to save it, to bring it to love, as something that is attacking it. Upside down perception looking with fear. It goes into killer mood to destroy what it thinks is dangerous: kill or be killed – there are no other options in the mind of fear.

Holy Spirit, I offer you this mechanism, this belief that is going on automatic.Please correct these beliefs in my mind

And I sit down, sense its energy-imprint in the body – wow, the poor head – and allow Presence to shine right through it

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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