Miracle Cell Phone

My new cell phone has lost battery power from the day i bought it. I have told it to mirror ONLY what is helpful, so I have seen this loss of energy as a sign to me to SLOW down, relax, walk, pause, rest.Today it topped its performance:
It refused to go past 77% uploaded. I charged and charged and to no avail – until it dawned to me – ohmygod it means 1977!


That’s when my first and only daughter was born – ahh – THAT’S the energy I currently have overwhelming me – a HUGE terror at being a MOM – and this morning I slowly meticulously walked out of it by stating that I wanted the GOD-essence within this terror and nothing else.

It was after having done this – and enjoyed the slow and powerful warmth that grew forth – that I understood that the cell phone-power status 77 WAS a message.

The cell phone is lying right here, charging from the PC. For 3 hours now it has refused to go past 77. The minute I realized it, it started going up.

Now I rest in 1977-energy, chaos and terror, calling out its essence fully, sharing it with you all.

And offering a playful poem I wrote in May this year – since that came from this playful essence we all share ♥

SPACE

My words have newly rained here
Now drying themselves up
In May sunbeams
Windows open in houses
Come in, come in!
I can’t and I won’t

Space, I say, Space!

They don’t hear me

SPACE!
I don’t live inside it
I offer myself to it
Becoming its hostess

Hostess I am:
Milky Way hair
Wolf eyes looking at pups
Savannah ears
Nose knowing of sub-terrain tunnels
Light-house lips
Sarepta hips
Breasts like surprised white lamb clouds
Sallow arms, Birch hands,
Legs like leaping Antelopes
Butterfly vagina
And kitten toes

You spot me and enter my Space
I can’t be had

Rainbow smile

And the cellphone is now 100% charged – just as I am 🙂

 

 

The Space where I Am

Many years ago, in a session with a student, I found myself speaking about “God being in the spaces  between everything.” It resonated strongly for both of us – and recently, about 25 years later, John Mark Stroud lead a webinar where he led us into this incredibly simple and clear journey from body mind-identification, to fully dissolving our self into this Space.

We were invited to sense into this Space. Within a minute, it was clear that it had always been here –  had no end or borders – was completely loving, allowing and embracing of everything. Timeless, deathless.

And one could lean back and rest profoundly in it – and at the same time be aware of the turmoil and pain in the world.

We were asked to train in going from body-awareness and out into this Space/Self – and back again, to truly experiencing the different states of mind

And after just a few minutes it was clear how we all, as “bodies” have exactly that selfsame space inside up – just think about the spaces within each atom: it looks like a Universe.

The bliss that came from that

oh –

Now – where do I choose to rest my awareness?

I am practicing 🙂

Trees

Willow and BeechThis is the view from my livingroom-window: I look right into the tall old Sallow and the Beech -look how they enjoy each others company. And I enjoy theirs! Sometimes it feels like I am really inside the branches.

In my work as Expressive Arts Therapist, I often choose to work with poetry with my students. Something magical happens when we let go of the limitations of our habitual “me” and open up to just “let it write.” In my book, “Healing Crisis – 108 Ways to Turn Crises into Possibilities” I describe many ways to elicit the voice of your inner poet –  it really exists in there! I will never forget the first time my teacher showed us how to find it – and the poem that came out of that – never been so surprised:)

But now, I want to share my last poem about a tree – this is an experience I had a week ago.

 

Fall-ing

First frost today

and my red shoe

gently steps onto

the paper thin sheet of ice

on a black puddle, enjoying the delicate creaks

Crisp air with a hint of fir smoke

fills my nostrils, and I become aware that

I am filled with holes from Spring and Summer

 

Waiting for the bus,

I rest my eyes upon the lead gray sky

when the sun breaks through, and

the Elm in utter surrender shatters

her yellow gold like a waterfall:

Illuminated,

leaves spin and spiral, whirl and twirl

Some spin fast

like they are trying to recall their inner

dance before

they congealed into leaf

Some simply and quietly sink ,

blissing all the way down

And as I notice that each leaf I watch

sinks to earth

in its individual way of dancing,

I sense that all my holes

come together

to one vast

space

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meeting

This is the kind of therapy I love to take part in: I love to be present and demonstrate who I am. The I here pointing to Self:) The depth – the honesty – the joy of exploration and inquiry – not to fix or have results, but for the sheer  joy of sharing that space. And it is through this honest presence that I acquire the very essential trust from my patients, which makes healing possible – and often miraculously so. I am not somebody who knows what they have to do to free themselves  – my sheer presence to what they are bringing in to the session is transformational, in the simple way that it draws out of the “patient” her/his own knowing. And this is my deepest wish: to allow the patients to find this ever-present kind and loving Place in their own heart – and help them receive their Self.

I am here in this world to meet you- not fix you.

What I love most is the quality of that Space which opens and embraces us both: all that we need is available NOW.

All kind of false believes are seen and dropped into that Space. Smiled at and seen dissolved.

Heaven

The nights are still filled with overwhelming energies through the body –

but when the day comes and I get out of bed, suddenly there is an awareness this this has nothing to do with me. It is stuff  leaving me – myriads of thoughts that I have believed belonging to “me”, now seen as “phantoms” trapped in a false reality, on a screen – and as long as I give them attention and seriousity, I give them power to “live” –

but what I am, is the vast space of being behind this screen

This morning, the Love was all encompassing – and I saw that the stuff in the body still did its thing, but i didn’t mind – it was not serious –

Heaven

No need for judgment

In the shower, I notice a spot on the back that itches. When I scratch it, it gets a crust which I scratch off and then it itches again. Infernally. So I at least got that there was something here that wanted my attention. This is something I have not been willing to let go of. Something that is connected to what I call “me.” The Course tells me that I am not the body – but I hear , darn it, it was me that experienced all that heinous shit when I was little – it was MY body it happened to – it was THIS body it happened to. I have explored where evil comes from, and I am right that this is my body!!!

And now comes  a major turnaround in my mind:

Blue tells me that the intense feeling I experience now – “I AM RIGHT! THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE!” is a collective  belief that does not belong in a mind of Oneness – where there are no me’s. Everything in this world – including media – reflects the “laws” the Son of God = all of us –  subconsciously agreed upon to make us stay within the illusion of separation. These laws reflects the polarity in ego’s world: good and evil, right and wrong, pretty and ugly, smart and stupid. Gravity is one of the laws – and it works only because we subconsciously have agreed on believing in them. The same is true regarding time and space: both concepts in the ego thought system. For Spirit, none of these laws  are valid – and we are Spirit, believing we are humans, identifying with the dream we are dreaming. The “we” not being humans, but Mind outside time and space.

This means that I don’t need to attach a me to any ego-thought/belief at all – and poof, there goes all my perceived need for judgment.

Outside time and space

It is so clear this morning: everything that goes on in my mind, I am dreaming up. I am projecting all of it from the mind into this so called separated dream-figure Leelah. And I don’t want to do it any more. And I can’t believe I haven’t seen it before! It is SO clear. I am so happy to see how clear it is.

All this chaos – all this confusion and foreseeing disasters – I don’t want to do it anymore.

This is the part of the forgiveness-process where choosing Love comes in. Just seeing that I am wrong that these thoughts and projections come from fear and unreality and have no value for me. What DO I want? I want to be steeped in the peace of God. In the joy of God.He has given these gifts to me and everyone, He does not take gifts back. I want them. I allow them.

Right now – and I know that the state of being that I am in now probably won’t be lasting -I know that “attackers” is an impossible idea in the mind that I have believed, choosing ego as my teacher.

The knowing right now – that Leelah is a figure in a dreamt-up reality,  is crystal clear.

Somehow I know that this is not a permanent state of mind for me yet – that’s why I have this blog: to write it down – it has really happened.

Framed

What I love about Haikus  is essence’s ability to allow the mind to create vast images and stories. Writing “stories” I see I really mean Depth and Space. They help me find my deep deep breath, living in the heart, welling up to meet me, allowing me to feel alive and Here. Ah the Here is all is it about.  The “Framed”  was very helpful: when I look out of my window now, I can choose to frame something – and instantly it comes into the Here. Now.

Here’s an example of such a Presence Miracle:

Framed –
Sea Eagle
On blue canvas

If you want to subscribe to Mal’s site, click on the above link

 

how does these thoughts disturb the space it occurs in?

New powerful Video from Benjamin Smythe.

This means that it is impossible to judge anything at all: whatever happens, happens within a space

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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