Last lessons

LESSONS 361 to 365.

This holy instant would I give to You. Be You in charge. For I would follow You,certain that Your direction gives me peace.

W-pII.361-5.1. And if I need a word to help me, He will give it to me. 2 If I need a thought, that will He also give. 3 And if I need but stillness and a tranquil, open mind, these are the gifts I will receive of Him. 4 He is in charge by my request. 5 And He will hear and answer me, because He speaks for God my Father and His holy Son.

I am very happy this morning – after a wonderful peaceful night. In the four years I have written this blog, that sentence has never been written before.

And if I need a word to help me, He will give it to me.

He has always given me the exact books and teachers that I could learn from at the perfect time for learning exactly what they offer. Now here comes Matt Kahn in his book “Whatever arises, love that.”

Matt Kahn's mantra

…with some of my added mantras 🙂

His last sentences: ” By acknowledging that I don’t know how to love, I release each conflict,burden and hardship by entering the heart of surrender.”

When I voiced out loud all these mantras, as he calls them, a strong voice arose in  me as a background voice: “And because you stop trying to do this on your own, I can take it over and do it for you.

I was entering the heart of surrender. It is my Christed Self that spoke – which is Who I am in reality.  I was aware I was not giving it over to an outside God.

Isn’t it sweet that the Holy Spirit – Blue, as I call him/her in “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – sends me this book and these mantras which I guess some Course in Miracles-teachers would not accept as a true Course teaching – but He also tells us in the text that The Course is one of many pointers to the Truth — and that it is all about learning to follow the Voice for truth inside, and recognize the voice for separation as just a voice for suffering,sickness,death and illusion.

I can’t really tell you how great and truthful it felt to speak out those sentences:

I don’t know how to love those who tortured me

I don’t know how to love that inner hateful voice –

and then, Love’s addition: “But I do, and with your little willingness I will love them for you.

There and then I gave up that super-strong spiritual ego who  has denied “bad” feelings and thoughts because they are not real.

Now they are allowed  to stay as they are – and there is an instantaneous surrender of “personal responsibility/spiritual ego.”

And when I don’t mess with it, interpret them, start the storytelling about them, the energy of them just arises into the Light that I Am.

Happy New Year, dear reader – thank you for all the comments, reviews on my two books, and personal stories about how they have helped you let go of  trauma and stress in a playful way. I am so grateful for my life and all it has brought me – it is a beautiful gift to be able to see the shining Self Who has embraced it all, each and every second.

See you in 2016 – may it be the year we all find the inner peace and joy that is our birthright

Leelah Saachi

 

 

 

Holy Spirit at the doorstep

Yesterday, looking out of the window, I saw something light brownish and white lying in the grass. A dead animal, I thought – maybe a bird.

Later, downstairs in the healing-room where I work out in the morning, I saw a light brown and white pigeon sitting on my garden fence, looking at me. I realized it was the same bird that I thought first was dead – well, he had at least managed to fly up on the fence. I looked at him and wished him well with all my heart. One minute – and then he took flight, soaring.

How strange. I could have sworn he was dead when I first saw him.

This morning, I opened the main door to get the paper, and he flew up right behind my door – the door actually hit him.

I looked at him in wonder as the familiar signal inside went off: pay attention.

I watched him as he humped along across the little lawn – and then he humped up some stairs to a neighbor across the road.

I prayed for help to realize what this was reflecting. Birds points to Spirit –

I look into my little dream-book:

“Dove or pigeon: Interchangeably with the pigeon, the dove is a symbol of peace and reconciliation ( as the bird that brought the olive branch back to Noah’s Ark) and of love ( the emblem of the Holy Spirit.)

But – it was sick! Almost dead! And then resurrected and flew – as if nothing had happened to it – and today it was sickly again –

I put the thoughts away

And later, I was standing in the kitchen and felt the usual stress pattern coming up – old PTSD – and heard myself saying out loud:

But I am not sick – meaning: my identity is not sickness

Thank you Sacred Self – you are showing me, via this pigeon, that what I have tried so valiantly to heal and interpret and understand, is not “MINE” – it belongs to the dream, the illusion of separation.

My true identity is SELF – oneness with my Creator, created in His Image – and surely that can not be sick

But the bird taught me that I think sickness belongs to my identity:

it played out dead – sickly – fabulous flyer – and then “waiting for you at your doorstep, being smashed a bit around”

I love the humor  and playfulness of the divine

“What suffers is not part of me” stresses the Course – which is a good thing: now I can embrace it instead of identifying with its suffering

For the first time, I truly SEE the choice where to put my belief: sickness or Spirit

Which means that the next time symptoms flare up, I will remind myself “appearances only” and  rest in God

The ego is trying to convince me that if  I don’t make the appearances instantly disappear, Spirit is not to be trusted.

Not so – silly thought – the discomfort can be there now, it is not a sign that I am wrong and a failure(which spiritual ego claims) just that the story the pain is telling comes from a belief in separation and shall not be taken seriously

I am not a traumatized “somebody “- I am Spirit – healed, whole and innocent – all is forgiven and released

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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