For anyone with dissociation and fragmentation

I had quite a miracle happening to me this morning –
 
The last 40 years or so I have been haunted by what doctors have seen on x-rays as a malignant mass in the lungs on the right side – but not malignant enough to operate – since I still can breathe enough to live 🙂 I am a healer and teacher and artist and I have vowed to do my best to free my bodymind from the effects of grave sexual abuse from I was very small and until ca 20 years old. I know I have used a muscle panzer to prevent myself to breathe, since the breath would have put me in contact with memories that would have been devastating for my bodymind and sanity – before NOW.
 
This morning – I am 74 years old now -I at last had arrived at the point where that part of me who had made the decision to stop breathing, now was willing to LISTEN to me. And what has helped me immensely to come to this point, is the old teaching about the five Elements ( I am Earth.) I have a long running with Yoga in many forms – what had such a miraculous effect on me now was the whole thing coming together: the SOUNDS and the MOVEMENTS and the intent and the sacredness of it all.
 
As an artist and an expressive Arts Therapist, I teach the processes that has helped me the most – dancing/moving the energies while holding an intention, and a willingness to let go of control and ask for help from the Soul/Self instead. The 5-element process brought me back to what must have been many lifetimes practicing the old old structures – in a way that makes it all one cohesive surrender-love-dance.
 
My little girl understood that she had to accept what had happened in order to be able to let it go – I had at last succeeded breaching the abyss of isolation. It is my firm belief that it was the YOGI SOUNDS that opened the space for her to accept my presence – and for her lungs to start accepting air into them more fully.
 
So we breathed and sounded into that old isolated space, and suddenly the ice melted – and the most horrendous burning pain flowed through the right upper part of my body. I saw how immensely my muscles have worked in creating that panser – and how it hurt to let freedom into those muscles now. – I allowed and embraced the hurt, and suddenly it were gone.
 
And I feel present
 
How fortunate we are, we who live NOW and have decided to become free – then the right teachers pop up everywhere. Thank you Lauren and Donna and bless your work, I am so grateful

3 time: CORRECT LINK to Magic Journey

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For the third time I have attached a link here to the magic journey. I failed  before to click the correct box for having the photos publicly shown There is also a opportunity for me to write this intro to the photo-journey:a dear friend told me that at first she found some of the photos chaotic and destructive. I need to talk about that here:

The first sign for me that I was entering a guided “magical” journey and exploration, was my own shadow, waving for me – and when i noticed it and took a photo of it, I knew something was brewing – and then i turned and saw that i was standing in front of a gate into the wood – a potent symbol if it ever was one.’The first symbols and photos brought me in touch with mother nature and a wonderful grounded feelings. The rays of light that was seen through th camera felt mysterious and awe inspiring, the wood transformed itself.

Then I was standing in front of the tagged concrete wall. I went closer, and saw “jeg elsker karoline” in the middle – “I love Karoline.”

It was then that I saw all the police tape circling a big area – and wanted to see what that was about.

My first impression was destruction and chaos too – but something inside insisted on seeing everything here as with Christ’s perception = Love. I took a lot of photos as the Love grew, and the fun thing they day after was finding good titles to the works of “Pie” – the main artist.

For me, coming in to that closed.off-area with police-tape, was to enter a story of somebody who bubbled with creativity and mounted their work on trees. The signs of trying to rise structures and build bridges touched me deeply, and for me it was  feelings laid bare – like cries for help, and also anger for not having any outlet for this creativity elsewhere. me – but with nakedness, straightness, wildness, punk if you will 🙂

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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