Luggage left


My late husband, my then 11 year old daughter and I were preparing to return home(are all my dreams about that??) and we had HUGE amounts of luggage. Among other very important things where out three mattresses. Lots of suitcases and rucksacks too. And all had to be carried over cliffs for about one mile before we reached the place where our car was parked. I hated it.

I awoke in the very common state of dread, angst,depression, pains and crushing sensation in the chest. At the same time, there was something that was not touched by it :even though it felt like the usual hell-experience, I was not sucked into that story in the same degree as before. I was pretty soon aware that Love was present. I found myself saying: “Holy Spirit, I forgive myself for believing that there is something terrible in my mind that can hurt me. I am wrong about this: false experience appearing real = fear.

As soon as I noticed that the crushing abated as soon as I felt confident that whatever happens to me physically can NOT remove God’s Love from my heart, has not the power to take God’s peace away. I am acutely aware this moment that what is impermanent is not real, but God is always present.

I am willing to go home without any luggage at all. And without my dream husband 🙂 For the first time there is not stress and anxiety about leaving luggage/the past behind.

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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