Crossing the bridge

Two dreams:

1) I am inside a BIG room in the University, where I have been attracting a lot of people lately – in harmony.

In the other end of the room are two entrances. An immense man stands there with a gun: “I will shoot you all!” My thoughts are not so much that I may be shot, as how will I get past him and out? I DO get out, and from the second I am safe, I start yelling HELP with a strong and clear voice.

As soon as I wake up I start noticing that Jesus is WITH me. I look calmly at the image of the raging man and forgive him as my own creation, now choosing Love.

2.dream:

I am now living in a huge complex with countless others – room 12.

NUMBER 12   http://numerology-thenumbersandtheirmeanings.blogspot.no/2011/05/number-12.html

Charismatic, self-reliant, fun-lover, good singer.

The number 12 is related to Pisces. The Tarot card is The Hanged Man.  It represents the completed cycle of experience and when an individual reincarnates as the number 12 they have completed a full cycle of experience and learned of the possibility of regeneration toward a higher consciousness.  They belong to a group of developed souls who have accumulated an unusual inner strength through many and varied lifetimes.  They may still, however, be hindered by old habits that need to be changed.  The soul then attracts what it needs as a learning experience.  A reversal of negative thoughts can bring about very favourable and positive

effects, and can aid in achieving their goals and aspirations.

Number 12 warns of the necessity to be alert to every situation, to be suspicious of those who offer a high position and carefully analyse it, and to be aware of false flattery and those who use it to gain their own ends.  Number 12 represents the educational process on all levels, the submission of the will required and the sacrifice necessary to achieve knowledge and wisdom on both Spiritual and Intellectual levels.  When the intellect is sacrificed to the feelings, the mind will be illuminated with the answers it seeks.  Attention paid to requirements of education will end suffering and bring success.

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Important information for me!

I notice entering a Doctor’s office, bringing my duvet with me – I am let in in front of many people in the waiting room. I am teaching a little boy in the room, 9 years or so, how to transform his past with storytelling, inviting the story fairies to help him. I tell this to the two nurses in the room too, they all listen eagerly and respectfully. Then I leave the 3 persons to do as they have been instructed, and I return to my room via a long bridge. To the left is a high fence, to the right a precipice. It takes a second or too to recognize that where I walk may take me to safety or right into the abyss.

On the left side I am walking with Jesus. On the right I walk “all by myself.”

When I have crossed the long bridge from the Doctor’s office – the healing place – to the complex /the collective ego-pattern/ the room 12 is right there, door open – but it belongs to another girl. I ask her permission to cross it to get to the corridor where my room 12 is, and get it. I find my room.

After a little pause I am back at the Doctor’s Office. I am leaving the complex now. The little boy that before was dumb and very very angry, now looks at me, transformed, and smiles. My suggestion helped.

This little boy is connected to that angry man in the first dream.

For the first time in my practice with the Course, the last days it has been easy to surrender the old habits described in the numerology-piece. I just notice them, recognize they are my creation in “separation-mode,” I forgive them and me, take a step back and leave it to Holy Spirit.

 

 

 

Cramps – healing

In the night, a toe is bending over its neighbor, strong cramp-pain. To this pain, an automatic response: I love you I love you I love you! I bend forward, holding the toe – and recognizing that there was just a choice for love and not going into frenzy.

It abates.Whatever caused that cramp, received the love and responded with relaxation. It happens without being labeled, or having to figure out what caused it and have it fixed. Love was called for and answered.

Two well-known pain-containers in the body – the place of attachment of the legs to the torso, and the neck – are filled up with   heavy pain. I am filled with gratefulness for the process – I know this is pain leaving. The “me” is insisting: “I did this. I healed this. I am so proud and special!” Witnessing the voice and smiling. There is a distinction between controlling the process and pain by “understanding” it -and  just noticing, being aware of a healing process. Allowing.Allowing.Allowing. With the allowing comes gratefulness – for being part of a movement of healing…of something so old – so held – in the mind – and so judged – now let out of prison –

and now, a wave of sick fear, a belief: “Ohmygod I am setting the devil free” -waves of sickness…and the knowing that this is Grace and not devil:  devil-cast is made to look like that by judgment

Now: images of hanged bodies…allowing them to pass through, forgiving the images … effortless gratefulness for choices to explore archetypes in this life…the image of The Hanged Man, one of the Great Arcana of the Tarot: he hangs also – but with the head down, and his one foot touching the other knee’s inside – just as my position  in bed  has been the last year…new thoughts about specialness and pride –

new image: a skeleton crouching underground in the cold winter – standing above him, a poor couple of peasants- for me, this drawing by Th.Kittelsen is a symbol of spiritual poverty and fear –

I am being with this intense cold pain that seems to fill out the whole of my physical body – and it just feels like a gift of Grace to welcome it and allow it to leave. Nothing to fix – nothing to do  – just be – and now, a barrage of shoulds and oughttos  – just thoughts connected to this archetype flowing through the mind

Blessings…and the knowing that all this happens to no-one – that makes all the difference –

the belief in the value of repressing and denying our connection to Love is allowed to be seen as just a thought of no value –

simplicity

forgiveness of old cherished beliefs as part of the me-structure –

“When I lay myself to rest

14 angels stand around me

2  smiling by my left side

2 at my right side

2 guarding at my pillow

2 at my feet

2 cover me

2 wake me up

and one shows me all the paradises  of Heaven*

a strong AMEN reverberates through me

this is done

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*Freely translated from H.Wergeland

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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