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Today I received a huge gift from a fellow lover of A Course in Miracles: the new edition. 1946 pages.

The book lay on my right side, while I was attending to some old pains and inner jumps around the heart. Each time I have been able to reach deeper into the origin of this old fear imprint. Yesterday I saw that it has to do with the primal pain of being a body who is ripped to peaces by wild animals – reptile brain-memories – but this time also Colosseum memories – the gladiators and the lions.

I have long time stopped to try to figure out if these are personal memories from earlier incarnations  – suffice to say that they belong to the memory pool of mankind, of death and fear of death – and all the human may tell him/herself at the moment of such a death, and therefore carry further in their soul. I am a conduit of it – that I know. The Self has chosen to  “round this off” in this life – that I know.

So now I sat down again with the strange inner “jumpiness” and fear -energy, and asked for help to see. I was shown a group in another country, and I asked to speak to their spokesperson. She came forth, and I told her it was time for this group to allow the energy to return, so they could own it and allow it to transform  – realizing the wonder of forgiveness and their own connection to Self. I also introduced them to Spontaneous Transformation Technique, and felt all the time the connection between the group and me. Wonderful connection, and angels and Masters there to assist.

Then   I closed the connection, and went back to the “being with” the fear place. I prayed to feel safe always – permanent – I prayed to truly remember who I am  in Reality- the Holy Son of God, The Light of God.

Instantly I was nudged to open the new acim-edition randomly. I put my finger in there – there are 1946 pages in that book 🙂 – and my finger landed exactly on “memory”

I felt a deep peace. I will not doubt who I am, and the protection I have as His child. And something deep shifted within this fear filled body.

Then the phone rang. A dear friend who was supposed to come here and play was stuck in traffic, there was a marathon  in town and lots of streets were closed off. She would be very late, she said.

I knew the power of prayer now. So I declared that I was willing to have removed any blocks between us, and intended her to be here latest 5pm. I chose it with all of me.

She just called – and said that about that time, the traffic had mysteriously cleared up, and that she would be here in good time before five pm

And I know – this happens for me – so that I truly shall take it seriously that I am safe, held, helped,assisted,loved, and truly be willing to cancel old belief systems of fear.

I am not alone

I am not alone

I am not alone

Driving

A friend called me and wanted to talk. I had voiced my concern at his way of diverting himself while he was driving: he has a screen with a “slide-show” of photos from his childhood. He told me that his car had a radar that tells it if objects are in its way, it will react appropriately. We talked for a long time, I listened very carefully to him, and also pointed out the places that made me anxious to listen. After having voiced my deep worry several times, and also truly listened to him, something shifted between us. The atmosphere turned more spacious and light, and he explained how he looked at the moving photos on the dashboard to help him stay awake on the long straight drives on the highway. These are stretches where accidents often happen: people fall asleep from the monotony.

I was starting to see the great metaphor of driving our car/our individual self/ through life with our eyes on the road and the traffic around us – paying attention – and how as a writer, I am writing my manuscript with fear or diversions or with kindness and flow. I recognized how often I “fall asleep” – no longer in contact with the landscape and traffic around me, instead looking at images from the past to keep me “interested” in the never ending story of a separate“me” who always need diversion – speeding up – taking chances – adrenaline – so afraid of just being or driving straight ahead. Feel free to drive by me here if this bores you, just give a honk as you pass and we will wave to each other and hopefully smile.

So we talked, and I listened with curiosity to how the both of us, instead of fighting for our perception to be the only valid one, slowly found our places in the driving parallel files – and suddenly he gasped and started to cry.

A big space of compassion opened up around us, and he started to share a story of great fear and control in his childhood, and now seeing that he had a choice to be present in other ways than taking risks on the freeway. The energy shift between us was palpable – all that exhaust and fumes and vrooming from the cars melted and there was only a sunlit load that led right into the Sun itself – or whatever we choose to call that truth where things are really simple.

Thank you all for driving with me

 

 

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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