Metaphores

As some of my readers will know, I live from the  belief that my outer physical world and body mirror what goes on in my mind. So when I dream of a loose molar, I see it a cornerstone of the belief system ( teeth are symbols of beliefs in my world.) In this case, I had asked my mind to show me what the intense pain and tensions in the neck was about.

I talked to the neck – and it turned into a vile and vicious voice that called me a damned hussy who it would love to see tortured – since I did not follow its advises to live after the old belief system of fear any longer. Since I knew it has only one purpose – to keep me “safe” – I listened deeply and thanked it for its hard work – and I started to bless it. I allowed LOVE into my breathing, and gradually a soft melting happened in the neck. Now that I was focused on the pain as something IN me and nothing that I WAS , I could separate the pain as just energy, and breathe  love into it.This may be a process with many layers – but, miracles happen frequently in my life, so -😊

In my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” ( see right menu) I have collected lots of  synchronicities that show me when I am aligned to Source. Like this one:

I was on my way to the Hospital for some tests, and told myself, “ I love myself just as I am right now.” The first person who served me had  a white Tee-shirt with this text on: “ I love myself just as I am.”





Photo by Luke Leung on Unsplash

Taking on Others’ Energy

Sounds familiar to you?

I have been a vacuum cleaner for others’ energy. A part of me – the one who thinks her value comes from “helping” others before herself ( described in detail in “When Fear Comes Home to Love“) just identifies with something in the “the other” and the shift takes place. Yesterday I did this shift with the nurse who gave me the second vaccine – I asked her how her experience had been. This nurse had set my first vaccine a month ago, and I did not even feel a prick – so she had to be AWESOME ac. to my small self. Now I was projecting a mother on her, without being aware of it – she “took care of me” last time.

She described it her vaccine-effects in detail: sickness. Fever Pains. the whole list. And without even knowing it, I took it on, as something thar was “important” for me – and the night was pure hell – with the exact symptoms that she so distinctly had described.

I had bonded with her through sharing her symptoms – and what I told my subconsciousness I now experienced, to the minute detail.

Slowly it dawned on me that it was THIS that had happened – through my unconscious wish for a mother. The second I realized it and forgave it, all the hellish sensations seeped out – gone in a minute. Now there is just a faint soreness in left arm.

Then I asked myself, what is the most important decision I need to make – which choice needs to be recognized and corrected?

I was taken back to Ummu’s story in my book “Healing Stories.” *

Ummu was a prince in Dogon, Mali, thousands of years ago, whose land and treasures were stolen by tribal enemies.They also massacred Ummu’s family. I believe that I was Ummu in that incarnation – and that he was so shocked and enraged at God for allowing this to happen that he vowed to spite all that was good.

I have discovered that Ummu’s spirit is still in my mind – he truly CHOSE that time to turn against Love – and this morning I owned that choice of my ancestor, forgave myself and chose again.

My frequency ascended into unspeakable joy as I chose again – I chose to know Who I am and live from That.

The eating problems vanished – the very state of being where they originated – this insatiable hunger- disappeared.

I do not know if it will last – but now I know where that hunger to be comforted comes from, ancestrally.

And I am here to extend Love into it

*still not published

PS Google Dogon Mali to see photos

Blue

Here is BLUE – the sacred animal in the cover of my book When Fear Comes Home to Love.

Just today – more that 30 years since I wrote it – do I realize why the Holy came to me as an animal. I smile and smile as I realize that the animal carries no baggage – while Jesus and God carry more baggage than Chicago Airport.

The image also shows how the Holy is always present in every situation – even the very darkest ones

This is BLUE – the symbol of embodied LOVE

Here is a short snippet

“Allow me to present the Blue to you – The Presence of Love within the Myth. When I started to write this book, my idea was to explore the figures within the Image and the Myth, and find their stories and healing potential. But three years into the manuscript Blue made Her[1]* entrance.

It was during one of my agonized sleepless nights. I started to pray, and found myself talking into my little dream-recorder which stays in bed with me. I decided to pretend that I was God and knew the answers to my agony. I asked, and “God” answered. It comforted me.

This repeated itself for almost a week. Then the ego butted in and persuaded me to stop these conversations. It wanted me to take the credit for the book, not the Divine.

That stopped the process very effectively.

But then I sat down and wrote down the conversations – and saw the wisdom, humor and Light within The Answering Voice. The moment I knew, with a wave of gratefulness, that these dialogues were going to be an important part of the book, I also knew that The Voice belonged to the sacred-looking blue animal in The Image, under the root. In that revelatory moment, the structure and intent changed: before, I was trying to write a book to be accepted by the academic world, to “prove” my worth to them – a futile and impossible scheme of the ego – now it became clear to me that Blue had planned it all! So this book is written to remind us all of that Guiding Principle within, Who faithfully leads us toward our awakening.

Conversations with Blue are meandering throughout this book, and the text is also spiced with short examples of Divine play, through the form of synchronistic events and magic “coincidents.” With deep compassion and humor, She shows us how She leads us and plays with us, and how darkness can be seen as layers in an onion, opening to the radiant Light at the center.

The following dialogue is one of the very first:, from 1997. Blue’s voice is in italics:

Talking with Blue / 1997

I am here to remind you that you are a child of God – and that ALL your journeys, stories, poems and images point toward Me. I am your sunny garden, your golden haven, your sacred heart – your one and only Mother and Father. Come home to Me now – I AM LOVE. I am here to urge you to RECEIVE YOURSELF.

Who are you, Blue?

I am you. There is no separation.

Can I call you God? Can I call you Christ?

You can touch whatever consciousness you want with your heart and intention. If you address Christ, His answer will be filtered through your consciousness and through your mind. And you will give My voice the voice you have been conditioned to use.

If you address Christ, it is from the Christ-source the answer will be given. How you hear it and receive it, is up to you, and will be refined through experience – much like an artist grows into her true form. –When you – and all humans – are communicating like this, you are doing yourself a huge favor: you are taking away control from the ego, and stepping outside its prison doors, into fresh air. I repeat, I AM YOU – there is no separation, except in your mind.

Dearest Blue – why have you taken the form of an animal in my image?

To show you my playfulness… I am Divine playfulness, cohabiting with the demons under the root – so you shall not take it so very seriously, my dear.

BUT IT IS SERIOUS!!!! IT IS HORROR!!! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!!!!

What is horrifying is to be trapped in the illusion that this Child is all you are. You need to have tremendous compassion for the Child – and at the same time recognize that you are also one with Me. The role of Child, this unhealed soul-fragment – “the one who suffers in hell” – is meant to be healed through the “Greater You.”

There is a GREATER REALITY (10) where you experience all as One. –You and I planned this drama – don’t get stuck in it! You are not the roles, you are not even the drama – but you are responsible for making the drama conscious, so you can step out of it. Yes – don’t get stuck in it, my love, PLAY WITH IT. As every actor knows, it is necessary to step out of the role. Child and Fuckeat are not YOU – it is something you explore to discover the dark places within you that you still haven’t loved and healed.

You cannot really choose love and light without knowing what darkness, denial and hatred is. When Adam and Eve were in Paradise, they did not know that it was good – before they seemed to fall from Grace.

So when you and your fellow-travelers experience and explore your root-hell, you will then have the necessary experience of torment-awareness to choose the opposite. But this choice becomes available only after having fully experienced and accepted your own tortured feelings.

Realizing the hellish drama as your own creation, [2]* will give you the impetus to choose love.

And please have fun doing it!

The essence in The Lesson of The Root is recognizing your error in identity – and then to choose again!

*

 

[1]*In the text, I may use ‘Her’ for Blue, our sacred Self, or Holy Spirit in Course-language. Blue is of course non-denominational – but in my experience, She has the quality of Divine Mother.

 

[2]* The Leelah-figure, according to the Course, creates absolutely nothing – the part of the mind that creates is outside time and space and has nothing to do with this body/personality we believe ourselves to be.

(10) At the time I was receiving this loving Voice, I was also deeply into Emmanuel’s Books: ‘Greater Reality’ is his term for Heaven.

 

 

The Cosmic Dance

Yesterday: completely sleepless night – and the whole day was pure hell – prop full with feelings of meaninglessness, non-worth,death wishes. I ate a lot of ice cream

Somehow deeply I knew this was something coming up to be released. So- after ca 20 hellish hours , at about 10 pm, I could sense the whole “cloud” of it seeping away – just as the daylight also abated in Norway. I slept and I dreamed and the dream was wonderful.


I asked my self this morning – “what was the one act I could have done yesterday, that would have helped me?
And I saw myself embracing myself, saying ” You are not alone. I am here with you all the time, I am not going anywhere.”

Then, Facebook presented me with this painting I posted one year ago – the Dancer. She sits on a shaman drum I made 30 years ago – this is the innermost life eternally dancing us all, whether we are aware of it or not. And grim as it seems, the whole 20 hours were part of that dance.

The Cosmic Dancer

This tremendous force of Life and Joy and Is-ness represents the transformation of the ten archetypes I describe in my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – you can find it in the right menu. The archetypes exist in every person on the planet who in any way has been subjected to abuse – children and adults – mental,emotional,physical and sexual abuse in any form. The book shows ways to be free, in case stories, poems, paintings and autobiography. If you click on the image in the right menu, you will be taken to a page where you can read reviews.

Angry – and

Enough already!



I have not been able to to paint/draw for about 2 years now. All that comes is ANNGRRY pieces like this. And so I stopped resisting and gave it space – which felt glorious.

The today, when I watched it, I grabbed a pen and started writing. This is word for word that came:

A day in May

has much to say
about my way
to form and slay
 the SHALS and MUSTS
and eat and scream
and dive in stream
and dip and swim
and laugh and beam
and come alive
is bestest way
with giggles and
a form of pray
that whispers lightly:
It's just a dream.
Now come alive 
and have ice cream

I notice the turnaround into “dive in stream”, and enjoyed the change in energy in that shift.

I had just ended a session with a friend and  suggested creative means for her to deal with huge rage. So I thought I would do that too.

These poems – silly as they are, are so healing for me. They just come. Such blessings. I think one of the Divine’s attribute is playfulness and silliness. I also experience that any form of play is transformative – I will set the intension to allow what comes through me / patients  with curiosity and wonder – always trusting that what we have started, not knowing where it will go, WILL go into wonder and transformation, when we let it.

If you are interesting in case-stories from my 30 year practice as therapist, you might read some reviews of When Fear Comes Home to Love

Rosebush

Some years ago I gave an online course in storytelling as a way to transform our inner dragons. I called it Rosebush. I took the role of Grandma Pumpkin and invited them into my garden to play and explore. Here is the garden:

Just up the stairs – the gate is open – welcome

I am a firm believer in The Story’s ability to heal – and that it comes through us to be told and shared. In my 33 year long practice as Expressive arts therapist and healer, this will fail only when some part inside us is shitty scared of the freedom that is available – and that the story will not come from truth, but from that dark place in us that wants to destroy the truth. This belief IS a dragon in itself.

Let me first share this Rilke-quote that I used as an opener in the group

 

Here is the simple structure I used to find a way to transform our main dragon:

Creature
1) Imagine your fear/dragon/ illness/ problem (X) as a creature ( It may also be just a
challenging “energy-pattern.”)
If this X had a form – how would it look? Size? In what landscape is its habitat? Does it have clothes
or fur or shells-? Colors? How does this “dragon” smell? What kind of smells are its favorite?
Favorite food? Habits? (nasty and/or nice.) Be wild – listen to it: – “Foods:black coal and grubs with
timian.” Does it have children? How do they look? How does it raise its babies? What is its PET when
it is young? What are the NO-NO’S in its family? Feel free to pick all or just 2-3 .
Be outrageous, silly, over the top, incorrect. This is just playing.

What music or sounds does it enjoy – if any?
Favorite weather?
How is its mating ritual to attract a partner?
What is the main thing it never has shared?
If I had only one sentence it said…what would it be?
What is its greatest fear? Maybe it is a Who, not a What

Now the story begins
1)Once upon a time, in a (describe x’s surroundings) there lived a creature… (start to list the
descriptions, allowing us to get to know it/her/him.)

2) Now, you see – a wicked witch (name!) has put a spell on this landscape and/or the hero/the
creature. Now the creature is her slave – what has the hero/ine have to do for the witch? ( go in detail,
be to the point – like scrub her toenails, polish her buttons, fetch worms for supper.

3)Then one day – something wonderful happens! A wondrous Being appears ( how does it look?)
and says she has three magical objects that the Creature can have to free itself from the spell. After
having used all three, the landscape changes into something wonderful – describe. What are the three
objects?Make it really simple – this is not about writing great literature, just describing short and in
detail how these objects and “persons” are your short text.

NB: There are no RIGHT answers – what came to you may sound nuts, but please note them
down!Now, put the descriptions of the Creature and the trouble and the Magical Intervention from the
Being, into a story.VERY short please – less than one Word page is OK(unless the story insists of
having more space.)
Tip: if you feel stuck, pretend that someone else is writing it. F.ex yourself as 9 year old. The
language may belong to a very young child – or maybe a wise wizard is telling the story. Remember,
we are not looking for essays. We do not mind that the language may be clumsy. Just get it out there.

*******

This night,  when the mind was repeating its favorite doubts “ you are not doing it right” I was reminded of the wonderful synchronicities when I presented my own story in our group.

Here is the beginning:

Once upon a time there lived a Gruffly in a black valley. The sky was black, black ragged mountains cradled it like a cauldron, black angry sharp shards on the ground, and dozens of black rivers. They were slow, viscous, sticky and thick like tar, and they smelled like burned rubber and boiling asphalt.

There was no sun in The Tar Valley – only Grufflies and little smooth round black “pet-stones” in the rivers, but the stones were few and rare, and the Grufflies had to remove their boxing gloves to pick them. When they did, and found a cherished stone, it took them ages to get the tar away – in fact, the best way to get the tar off was to lick the hands. And we all know how dreadful tar tastes, don’t we.

Here is my first sketch of my Gruffly – and the Wicked Witch: ( for some reasons, the black/white scetch will not be posted HERE but below.)

And here are the two first synchronicities.

A couple of days after writing this, I was biking down to the mall, and a little boy, I think max 2 years old, and his parents walked toward us. The boy was running toward me, he was stretchering out his palm, there were something black in it: a small stone.

A black pet stone.

He cried out: Look! look! and his face was beaming at me.

And this was not all: my guides know I need many reminders – a couple of days after, I was biking down to another store – and there he was again, running towards me, again wanting me to LOOK – LOOK – and this time, his hand held many of them.

****

In my book ” When Fear Comes Home to Love, “you will find many of these stories and synchronicities. What I love about them is the strong impact they have on patients who never has believed in Something Greater’s love and care for us – and now, for the first time, do not doubt this eternal companionship.

Main character – the Gruffly with his protections suit and his beloved Pet Stone

Who Dies?

This is the poem I described in a reply to Kathy yesterday – it was part of my main paper in the Expressive Arts Therapist education. (Bragging: I now have the great title as Supervisor. People have not bragged so much about me, so I use any opportunity I get.)

In order to spare your necks reading this, here is the poem in a neck-saving form.

 
Who dies?
 Who lives and suffers and cries in pain?
 Leelah is in pain. Who is Leelah?
 Leelah is a seeker.  A teacher. A mother. A healer. An artist. A what-ist?
 A witch – a bitch -  a Madonna -a whore.
 Who says this? Who writes?
 Who wants this to be beautiful?
 A voice in me
 Who is me ?
 Who is listening to what who is writing
 Who is writing what?
 What is writing who?
 Who is what is who really is –
 Who is confused now
 I am that I am
 Who says this
 Who is blocked now
 Who is judging that that blob a “bad”
 Leelah is. Who is Leelah?
 Leelah is a seeker. A lover. A lover
 Who is loving Leelah?
 Who is Leelah loving?
 Love is who-ing Leelah.
 Who is love? Who is writing?
 Who is here – witnessing- smiling –
 Who is seeing the smile
 Who is who is who is
  
 IS-ness
  
 Nobody is dying
 Body is dying
 Dying Is
 IS-ness 
*****

I so love that the center space was exactly the right size for the last words.

I got the idea to send this poem to the Levines, whose books I had loved and read to pieces for years – and they replied and told me they laughed – and then we continued writing for years. Both Ondrea and I had cancer at the same time

I wrote When Fear Comes Home to Love, ( see right menu) and asked them if they would write a blurb? Ondrea told me that she read it loud each night ( here I am bursting with pride and joy, please excuse me), and Steven allowed me to use a piece of a seminar he gave about forgiveness and abuse.

Here is what they wrote:

“Leelah says ‘we are not the story, we are the light filled loving space the story floats in.’ Leelah is this space; her writing is a precious resource for the heart and mind. The Tibetans speak  about the priceless gem, the ageless doctrines of truth; such are the gifts of the teachings found in her fine book.” — Stephen and Ondrea Levine, bestselling authors of Embracing the Beloved, A Gradual Awakening, Who dies and Healing into Life and Death.

Dear Kathy – thank you for wanting to hear about this 🙂

I Can’t Breathe – and it is a Blessing

I started this blog 10 years ago to describe my path back to normal. And realize normal does not exist in any other way than a comparison with not-normal – which does not exist either. Chucking out the window! Being replaced with Love.

These love-images are: Stephen Levine – and old teacher and friend

The green heart is a photo my cellphone took by itself as I was passing this moss-covered stone

The cat I call The Jesus Cat 🙂

And then, Quan Yin – isn’t she lovely

I still have to learn a lot about the new WordPress-version,as you can see

Today’s post is dedicated to all those readers who have inexplicable  bodily symptoms and  may now and then wonder if you have a forgotten twin somewhere –  an alter persona.

Through over 50 years of active exploration I have found that I have such a one – and that she has her own distinctive personality, centered around  repeated traumas from early years. The feelings and needs were repressed, judged and denied – and very effective split off from the personality and now seen as “not-me.” Dissociation is the technical term.

When I searched in my virtual dictionary for “technical term”, a  wonderful synchronicity happened: I got a whole list of words that all could be metaphors for this dissociated archetypal art in the subconscious:

stone fruit, drupe

coagulum, clot, thrombosis

boil, furuncle, carbuncle

tail feather, rectrix, feather

 proboscis, trunk, nose, schnozzola

In  “When Fear Comes Home to Love” she has got her own chapter – we explore this part in my patients through case-stories, painting, movement, storytelling and poetry, where she is allowed full expression creatively.  And now she has lately come forth in dreams in a way that allows me to SEE her as a PART OF MY BODY.

 Until I fully recognized her as this child that I once was, I saw her as symptoms – very annoying and repeating symptoms that no doctor could help me with.

Now, the last two days, I have been given symptoms that I recognize as hers: 1) strong leg-cramps 2) inability to breathe – feeling like lungs collapse.

Now, I have a so-called “dark mass” in my lungs that doctors tell me is malignant – but they also tell me that it is not cancer and not dangerous

I believe “she” has created this – an absolute refusal to breathe fully as she grew up. This decision led to deceased lungs, and to a very successful repression for 35 years.

But now I have seen her with nothing but love – and she has FELT that she has been discovered and seen kinaesthetically.

So yesterday I wrote about the cramps that immediately disappeared when I stopped reacting and judging them – I recognized them as hers and immediately comforted her instead.

Today my lungs collapsed for a moment – and again, I knew it was HER. I told her OF COURSE you would not breathe. Instantly the breath returned.

The magic that happens when i do this is that I incorporate her now – “she” feels and knows she has been seen and loved, and because of my full acceptance, the body receives her as a gift.

I am so thrilled by this process!

Cramps of Self Judgment

I am sitting here crying of release – since such a ginormous breakthrough just happened.

I have had strong recurrent leg cramps for about 20 years – and accepted that it was part of getting older.

Not so!

I  have had an incessant bitter, vengeful complaining going on – how unfair life is, God is a devil who allows me to go through all the horrors – or: he doesn’t care about me obviously – so I there must be something WRONG about me-

The thing is, as a “spiritual seeker” I have automatically judged myself for all this ranting – Oh, I should know better etc etc etc .

And today, as my leg bent in scary ways and I screamed for help and it did not abate, a soft insight started to grow: this is not YOU – it is A PART OF YOU.

The second the identification with suffering let go, a strong flow of warmth and relaxation flowed into my tortured legs, and the cramps were simply non-existent.

Which part, God?

This is all the ranting belonging the metaphorical girl who went through “the hole in the ice”*** – and who never was allowed ( by others, but most by yourself, Beloved) to express her pain and needs to be comforted. In these cramps you (and all the others “out there” who work with these patterns -) have lovingly worked through these collective beliefs of unworthiness, unraveling their structure in the One Mind we all share. We bow to you and everyone like you – you have found many of them recently in the new blogs you are following – like Kathy, Robin, Barbara – emphasizing including and loving all parts of us

I know these thoughts will repeat – they belong to us all – the part of the mind that has forgotten Who they are – but the difference now is that I will not automatically be swallowed up by the pattern. Now it will simply be a reminder to breathe, let go, relax – and feel a deep compassion for the scope of pain this part of the human suffers.

Very simply stated – instead of instant ( subconscious ) self judgment, there will be an invitation to embrace this old collective wound – taking the child up from the  hole in the ice, see yourself carefully warming it in blankets, singing to her is excellent – there are no shoulds in singing,  just a loving frequency meeting the old pattern of self-denial.

*** That girl and boy  is an archetype of suffering in the One Mind we all share. In When Fear Comes Home to Love I explore and describe it clearly in text and poems, images and case-stories, and autobiography.

This is the cover of When Fear Comes Home to Love – where archetypes are explored with case-stories,autobiography, poems and images – and lots of silly-wonderful synchronicities. The Child pictured here in the archetypal child of abuse.

Vandalized Wood

My hundreds of years old wood
I love the way it felt like going through a tunnel, the light playing on the trunks

Yesterday I went for a hike in my beloved wood, close to my home.

It was not there. It had been cleared – lumbered – and as I walked through the familiar path, the views were now open – and the scars were everywhere.

It was a shock  –  MY wood had been vandalized!

Now you might read the description of the wood like your own inner wood/soul landscape – like C.G Jung would.

I felt like all my safety and support had been shaken up and pulled up – like my entrails  now was hanging out of my mouth – sorry for that graphic image folks –

I was talking to my daughter in my cell phone as I walked, and I noticed how cool I was describing it – hmm I will feel this deeply when I come home, I knew.

I share this, since I have understood that many of my readers have been abused in some way – and some of them are bi-polar – so they will be able to pick up the healing energy as they read the post through, and BE HELPED just by hooking into the energy of forgiveness and healing of abuse of any kind.

I believe I have come into this incarnation to do just that – clear the structure of archetypal pain of “the victim” on as many levels as I can.

As soon as one of us chooses to see our wounds with love and forgiveness, that healing is AVAILABLE for all – and now it is up to everyone to truly accept it for themselves. That has taken 76 years in this life for me

As a therapist since 1988 – and supervisor for 20 years -I have gathered mine and my patients’ healing experiences in my book “ When Fear Comes Home to Love.”

Take a breath here

I felt very bad at home – and was convinced it was COVID-19: I was feverish and it was REALLY hard to breathe. It lasted all day and much of the night, and in the morning, I called out for Anna – Jesus’ grandmother who always for some wonderful reason has been infinitely close.

I invited her to breathe with my lungs, and in a minute or two all the symptoms were gone.

So I asked: Where have I vandalized a landscape as vast and wonderful like this wood?

Ahh – it was my inner wood I had vandalized.

I immediately recognized it:

This happened when I returned home when I was about 4 years old and hade been brutally abused in a wood close by.

 I got home, I don’t know how, and rang the bell. My mother came out and SAW me – there was a terrified look on her face as she SAW what had happened –

and then she turned it into something I had wrong wrong – ripped  and soiled my clothes.

In that shattering moment when I understood that I would NOT be comforted – I could NOT share what had happened and my experiences of it – the inner vandalizing started. I told myself this must be something fundamentally WRONG with me – and my salvation was of course to start bettering everything about me.

That procedure was in itself a recipe for self hatred.

Here is in short the forgiveness-process that Jeshua gives in the Way of the Heart.

FORGIVENESS Jeshua
1. “Use your ordinary experience in each day to observe what pushes your buttons… As you go through your day, observe when you feel as though you are in contraction. Are the muscles of the body tight? Is the breath very shallow?… That is a sign that you need to do healing within yourself… Therefore, count it a blessing if you feel disturbed.” (page 35)


Begin to breathe deeply and rhythmically. Let the body softened and relax, and ask: ‘What is it within this person’s energy that is really causing my reaction?’ You will see it right away: “Oh, they are so critical. Criticism pushes my buttons.“ Then ask yourself: ‘When have I done that to another?’
“Watch the image dissolve and disappear from your mind. Bring your awareness back to the present moment and that person that just pushed your button… within yourself, forgive them for allowing the energy of being (e.g.) critical to temporarily make a home in their mind. And merely ask the Holy Spirit to see the innocent light within them.” (page 36)

I made a choice in that moment – to squeeze out any inner signs for needs – like comfort, like “being saved.” Because, said my mind, my mother surely HAD TO BE RIGHT – I had to trust my mother.

And this glorious night, as I used the forgiveness formula with Anna present – breathing through me – I watched the image of the two of us dissolve in light and disappear from my mind. I saw the innocent light around and in  us both – and I recognized our soul contract: – she and my father had soul-signed up to play these roles for me, so I at last in this incarnation could get a good hold of it all, look at it with love, forgive it and let it go. ***

***

I have been working with this theme for over 30 years. It has taken a lot of work and stubbornness to get to this place.And the trees had grown REALLY tall and the Light had trouble getting in to it.

My daughter suggested in the phone that I might return and present the de-lumbered wood with gifts. I see myself walking through it and singing and dancing to it – giving my energy to the place which is now open to new growth.Most important – now LIGHT can reach all the way down to the very ground.

I hope this experience has done this with me: cleared me out for receiving LIGHT all the way down to my very roots

And here are som more photos of the old wood:

 

You can see the light blue spot to the left – that is a broader hiking trail to the top of the mountain. Now all the trees you see here are cut down. There is free access to the main path to the top 🙂

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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