Scream and play

Last night, I wrote myself through a nightly terror:

The Code

When lungs are raisin-dry and dirty demons nibble at your feet,
when you can’t take a breath and cannot cry for help cause there is no-one there to meet
this agony with anything at all, you’re stumbling through the night
and stubbing toes on stones and hearing angry voices who just may be right
in their insistence that you’re not worthy of a life,
you have done something wrong and just this knife
is all you need, to put an end to it and plunge it in your heart.
Since then this pain will have to end, you think, that seems so evident and smart
if only you could find the code to tell you where you fail and sin,
then you could remedy your ways and calm the screams and din
of this old mind that never stops in finding reasons for your pain
-but as you seek for them, you know that trying to find rest will be in vain.
And trying to get out of it and feeling good again is doomed, you say!
Then Love says, now go to the heart and stay
there, child, just let it be, allow it space to breathe; that darkness is just shadow play.
Now turn toward it Sweetie, tell it, hey
old agony, old friend, what if we have some fun instead and write a pome
about it. The Muse is here to take you Home.
We may just recognize the simple truth right here to be:
The Code for healing agony is Play, you see


In the morning, I woke up from a reaction I have to something going on in the world – feeling the horrible energy from it.It feels like a global scream.

Exactly at the moment I notice this scream, I am reminded: this is just an energy in the mind that I haven’t forgiven. It’s not “mine,” it’s not  serious – it’s not a sign that I have done something wrong- it’s just this energy.


I turn toward it and say, “welcome! Welcome. Welcome” with a full heart –

and it’s just not there anymore



Sessions on Skype

Today I want to share a testimonial from a session two days ago. If you are interested in what I do for a living – look under “Services.”

If you want to read others’ testimonials, you find them there too.

“As I said, in the beginning, it was hard for me to relax. I felt the fear of needing to perform, and even further, was afraid of then maybe not going to be able “to reach something”. But your tenderness and compassion allowed me to be with whatever there is.
Before, the last months, I always treated the father-son-theme and the journey to my true nature as two seperate things. I was trying to solve it on a psychological level, while still playing the role in the story. The session yesterday showed me clearly, that I can just step out of my role, that love is always there. Allowing me to see, that there is no seperation between me and him (and anyone), that we are both love.
After our session I went downstaires. I come down and sit by the table to eat lunch and my father just looks at me with this huge smile, full of love. And he starts to talk, about how he has been practicing guitar and his fingers start to hurt a bit – I taught him how to play – all with a glowing face. Remember I said, that the last weeks, we both tried to not look at each other and talk, to avoid our pain. And I just see him, and my family members for what they truly are. Awww.”

“Kailovii from Switzerland”.

I love working on Skype – all I need to do is relax, trust the good guidance from the Self and the nice surprises from my creative Muse, who also loves to be included.

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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