The Scull in the Theater

A Course in Miracles – a Non-Dualistic teaching – tells us that the world is a dream, and we are dreaming in up – and we are playing all the roles too. We do this to have all kind of experience – since our soul loves experience and loves to learn from it.

My work life was in the Theater – I created stage-and costume-design, was assistant director and translated plays for puppetry.

So my dreams are vital pointers for me. This is the latest one – after several months of mental  confusion and unpleasantness  after an operation in the intestine.

In the dream I was IN my Self all the time – knowing this WAS a dream. I just observed the actions while they happened, intensely moved, and amused by it all.

I was with a WONDERFUL assembly of people – I think they were social workers –  and we had together written and staged a play where the mail role was a SCULL.

In the first production my husband and I staged for The Norwegian Theater, a big shining scull played an important part as DESTINY. This was a play where objects floated through air – “Black Theater.” The actors were covered in black velvet from top to toes, and the objects/puppets were  placed in a “gate of light” on the stage.

Right now, in the dream, I am sitting in the audience and looking down at an actor with a puppet or prop two rows in front of me – it is a scull. The scull is intensely attractive and beautiful and delicate to me – and funny: right now, the actor makes the Scull bites him in the ear – “Listen, you! Pay attention to me!”

So this is an invitation to laugh – I am asked to see through the illusion of death. And to LISTEN.

Meaning: yes of course horrors happen here in the world – meaning the world of illusion, but in the REAL WORLD they are seen as props, used to give the soul experience. And in each experience, ac. to A Course in Miracles, we have a choice: look with love or fear.

So in the dream I am now paying attention to me dreaming this – I am lucid. And ACIM teaches that in reality, there are only two states of mind: LOVE – and FEAR. Fear is the realm of the egoic mind – the mind that perceives itself a separate from its Loving Source.

My mind is now ordering a translucent scull/ object of death and illusion/ to lovingly nib his maker’s earlobe. Hey you. This is a dream. Pay attention the teaching.

Awake now, I thank my main spiritual guide – Anna- and she says, Leelah, YOU made this creation – I am just sitting here, laughing my head off. (My spiritual leaders  are  very straightforward. )

Photo Source: Photo by Kyle Head on Unsplash

Lucid Dreaming

It was LONG dream and I enjoyed every moment of it – since I knew nothing was real and could harm me. It felt exactly as i feel now -writing on the PC. So this might be a dream too of course – AND A Course in Miracles tells us it is.

The fun thing is, that I worked as a stage and costume designer in Norwegian Theatre for 20 years – som I know all about creating trustworthy illusions:)

At one point in the dream I attended  a big meeting with a very known guru. I sat down with him. Two men behind me told me I should ask his credentials, and i told them i am not interested in that, i want someone with Heart.

It turned out that he did not have that, so I simply left

It was a LONG dream, I don’t remember any of it now – but the feeling of not taking the dream seriously sticks to me even now. Which reminds me that I teach A Course in Miracles- which teaches that this world is a dream, and only LOVE is real. It says that we can be harmed by nothing but our own thoughts of fear, hatred and attack – and if we haven’t forgiven these places/thoughts/energies inside, we will have them meet us from the outside. When we react to something on the outside, it is because it/ they are pointing to something inside us that still haven’t been seen and forgiven.

We do not forgive or condone acts – we find where we have thought or acted in the same thoughtless way, and forgive ourselves for our lack of presence – and we forgive the other for the same lack.

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

I used the Course as a big help when I wrote When Fear Comes Home to Love– since I wanted a trusted Source to  point to, when it came to sharing what I and my patients in expressive Arts Therapy experienced. I also soon experienced in my practice as therapist that there was Something Big and Beautiful and Humorous present when we worked – It was completely trustable. The patients noticed it to, when I pointed it out – and this knowing, that their life was not something random planned by craziness, was hugely important for their trust in the process.

The book is guided by a Loving Inner Master I named BLUE – and it also has a plethora of synchronicities that both myself and my patients experienced – which was a big help in trusting the process when it seemed random and dangerous.

I have noticed that many readers have told me that they do the same with success – they ask a question – “please clarify *this to me” and then they flip the book open and put their pinky some place on the page.   The answer is always there.

 

Everything is Possible

A miracle is happening for me.I have for months had a dispute with our largest Phone-communication company – ( which for me is a symbol for the highest LOVE.) They have sent me a new adapter and it just would not bring the connection. Something in me knew that this was going to be a great lesson – the sysmbols are about communication – and that it was helpful to know that the connection I deepest wanted, was the connection with LOVE/GOD/Source/whatever we call it.This morning, after AGAIN feeling unjustly treated by customer service – and being certain I was RIGHT about it – I watched the first video with Autumn and Prune Harris. – This is a series about how to align with the energy of Nature – now Autumn – and I was for the first time willing to ask inside what the theme was that held me back. I was immediately brought back to my very early decision to perceive myself as hated by God – because of the horrors happening to me. I was shown the choice of my soul before this incarnation – to experience a life in a body which would be the opposite of being protected – and then – in spite of it all – finding LOVE. The REAL thing.

In one huge crying fit I saw all the persons participating in the various abuse-versions as roles in the drama that I had written and produced and play the leading role in – decided on that level before physical incarnation. I had wanted to have such a life be lived through fully – explored fully – and then coming to the realization that my soul has written the script – because it wanted most of all to prove to itself that LOVE can heal it all – and most important, heal my own perceptions.

I have been working deeply with this theme the last 50 years – and today was a deep breakthrough in simplicity – it has all to do with MY CHOICE to believe that I am a victim as my identity.

I can see my parents and brother clearer now – the correction has been put in motion – I can feel it. I believe I will experience to be close to LOVE and God again – and be sure to forgive any signs from the outside to mirror unforgiven stuff from inside.I am in awe of the perfect orchestration and TIMING of it all – including Prune’s bout with Covid 19 and her request for us all to send love and light and balance to EVERYBODY who needed it – and her rapid recovery. Everything is possible.

In When Fear Comes Home to Love I wrote 49 examples of how God ( naming It BLUE in my book) intervened playfully when I needed it most.

Here is one such story:

A clairvoyant woman tells me that I have a wonderful big heart with potential for great transformation. “I doubt that” says my ego. I feel a strong impulse to visit a special book-store nearby, they have religious books and images, and I want paintings of Jesus and Mary, and hope to find some that are not sugary.

I don’t find any images that my heart loves. I find a small bowl of metal pins, and put my hand into the bowl and pick one. It says Leelah in red writing – and it shows an image of a little amorine who is shooting an arrow of love into Leelah’s heart.

Blue

Here is BLUE – the sacred animal in the cover of my book When Fear Comes Home to Love.

Just today – more that 30 years since I wrote it – do I realize why the Holy came to me as an animal. I smile and smile as I realize that the animal carries no baggage – while Jesus and God carry more baggage than Chicago Airport.

The image also shows how the Holy is always present in every situation – even the very darkest ones

This is BLUE – the symbol of embodied LOVE

Here is a short snippet

“Allow me to present the Blue to you – The Presence of Love within the Myth. When I started to write this book, my idea was to explore the figures within the Image and the Myth, and find their stories and healing potential. But three years into the manuscript Blue made Her[1]* entrance.

It was during one of my agonized sleepless nights. I started to pray, and found myself talking into my little dream-recorder which stays in bed with me. I decided to pretend that I was God and knew the answers to my agony. I asked, and “God” answered. It comforted me.

This repeated itself for almost a week. Then the ego butted in and persuaded me to stop these conversations. It wanted me to take the credit for the book, not the Divine.

That stopped the process very effectively.

But then I sat down and wrote down the conversations – and saw the wisdom, humor and Light within The Answering Voice. The moment I knew, with a wave of gratefulness, that these dialogues were going to be an important part of the book, I also knew that The Voice belonged to the sacred-looking blue animal in The Image, under the root. In that revelatory moment, the structure and intent changed: before, I was trying to write a book to be accepted by the academic world, to “prove” my worth to them – a futile and impossible scheme of the ego – now it became clear to me that Blue had planned it all! So this book is written to remind us all of that Guiding Principle within, Who faithfully leads us toward our awakening.

Conversations with Blue are meandering throughout this book, and the text is also spiced with short examples of Divine play, through the form of synchronistic events and magic “coincidents.” With deep compassion and humor, She shows us how She leads us and plays with us, and how darkness can be seen as layers in an onion, opening to the radiant Light at the center.

The following dialogue is one of the very first:, from 1997. Blue’s voice is in italics:

Talking with Blue / 1997

I am here to remind you that you are a child of God – and that ALL your journeys, stories, poems and images point toward Me. I am your sunny garden, your golden haven, your sacred heart – your one and only Mother and Father. Come home to Me now – I AM LOVE. I am here to urge you to RECEIVE YOURSELF.

Who are you, Blue?

I am you. There is no separation.

Can I call you God? Can I call you Christ?

You can touch whatever consciousness you want with your heart and intention. If you address Christ, His answer will be filtered through your consciousness and through your mind. And you will give My voice the voice you have been conditioned to use.

If you address Christ, it is from the Christ-source the answer will be given. How you hear it and receive it, is up to you, and will be refined through experience – much like an artist grows into her true form. –When you – and all humans – are communicating like this, you are doing yourself a huge favor: you are taking away control from the ego, and stepping outside its prison doors, into fresh air. I repeat, I AM YOU – there is no separation, except in your mind.

Dearest Blue – why have you taken the form of an animal in my image?

To show you my playfulness… I am Divine playfulness, cohabiting with the demons under the root – so you shall not take it so very seriously, my dear.

BUT IT IS SERIOUS!!!! IT IS HORROR!!! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!!!!

What is horrifying is to be trapped in the illusion that this Child is all you are. You need to have tremendous compassion for the Child – and at the same time recognize that you are also one with Me. The role of Child, this unhealed soul-fragment – “the one who suffers in hell” – is meant to be healed through the “Greater You.”

There is a GREATER REALITY (10) where you experience all as One. –You and I planned this drama – don’t get stuck in it! You are not the roles, you are not even the drama – but you are responsible for making the drama conscious, so you can step out of it. Yes – don’t get stuck in it, my love, PLAY WITH IT. As every actor knows, it is necessary to step out of the role. Child and Fuckeat are not YOU – it is something you explore to discover the dark places within you that you still haven’t loved and healed.

You cannot really choose love and light without knowing what darkness, denial and hatred is. When Adam and Eve were in Paradise, they did not know that it was good – before they seemed to fall from Grace.

So when you and your fellow-travelers experience and explore your root-hell, you will then have the necessary experience of torment-awareness to choose the opposite. But this choice becomes available only after having fully experienced and accepted your own tortured feelings.

Realizing the hellish drama as your own creation, [2]* will give you the impetus to choose love.

And please have fun doing it!

The essence in The Lesson of The Root is recognizing your error in identity – and then to choose again!

*

 

[1]*In the text, I may use ‘Her’ for Blue, our sacred Self, or Holy Spirit in Course-language. Blue is of course non-denominational – but in my experience, She has the quality of Divine Mother.

 

[2]* The Leelah-figure, according to the Course, creates absolutely nothing – the part of the mind that creates is outside time and space and has nothing to do with this body/personality we believe ourselves to be.

(10) At the time I was receiving this loving Voice, I was also deeply into Emmanuel’s Books: ‘Greater Reality’ is his term for Heaven.

 

 

Surrender

Happy Easter and Passover, all!

What a lovely word – Passover. What if humanity is truly passing over an old old schism in these Coronadays – forcing us ( helping us) to change our perception from fear to love – choosing love as our preferenced filter to look at anything – the Coronavirus in particular.

Some of us have the strange habit of choosing to welcome whatever illness that comes to us. I have learned this from my beautiful friend Leni.

So I welcomed the Coronavirus to say hi. I saw her as the epitome of Femininity – and that her intention with arriving now, was to manifest deep change in our outmoded fear based thinking. I personally notice the ways she makes it more difficult to breathe – I already have lungs that have a weakness, and deep breathing brings up feelings. When we don’t breathe fully, all those old pesky feelings can go downstairs and compromise our immune system.

Now most of us will be visited by what we have pushed down – and that will teach us how to shift our outmoded thought system thoroughly.

Lately I have had most of the symptoms – except fever, which I almost never have. I have felt my lungs contract when in a fear based state of mind – sensing the C-presence-  and as soon as I have reminded myself that I am Spirit, created in the image of Source, the breathing gets OK again. Then I have actually seen the image of the Corona smile at me. Saying gently: resisting makes it real for you. Surrender to me – like now – and you will flow through.

I know that surrender to it does NOT mean saying ” Oh it is not use, it is deadly, it is much stronger than me blah blah.” Surrender – to me –  means:

It is here to teach me something – to give me a gift. Please show me the gift – and I surrender to what is shown to me.

Take it or leave it folks:) I am not here to tell you what to do, but to share what works for me.

And for that reason, I will share here some reviews of my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – (look in the right menu)  since my readers here may just have something in common with  the way I think and feel and vibrate 🙂

I have choose some of the shorter ones.

Feather

5.0 out of 5 stars Pure Love 

 

Reviewed in Germany on 8 June 2016

Verified Purchase

This book is pure Love. It is truth. It is the sweetest and most precious book I have ever read.
Thank you sooo much Leelah:)“Don’t run away from grief, o soul.
Look for the remedy inside the pain.
Because the rose came from the thorn
and the ruby came from a stone.”

-Rumi

*

Gr8fulme1

5.0 out of 5 stars Healing Old Wounds

Reviewed in the United States on 22 May 2014

Verified Purchase

The other reviewers have beautifully described this amazing book. I will just add the following:
Although there has not been sexual abuse in my past, the process in Leelah’s work resonates with the deep healing of old wounds of any size. I read this book slowly and stop often to allow the material to do its work on me. Then when I pick it back up, it seems that Spirit (“Blue”) had me start reading at just the perfect time for an issue or question that’s currently up for me. This book is an awesome sharing of a powerful journey of emotional healing and spiritual awakening. Spirit is so good, loving, and helpful. This book is good medicine.
Bless you, Leelah, for sharing love, clarity, & intelligence in your work. Bless you for your courage and vulnerability in sharing your story. Your willingness blesses us all. I am grateful.

*

My remark: When I was in the process of writing the book, Blue told me that what Gr8fulme shares is exactly what any reader would experience – if you have a question about something – and set an intention to be answered, and then open the book randomly ( or even “hear” a side-number inside) – read that page and you will have your answer. It is my deep conviction that Spirit/ your Self / will lead you to the exact place where you will find your answer – since all Spirit /Self wants for us, is that we start to trust our intuition and  find our knowing that we are LOVED and assisted always.

seekingspiritualgrowth

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book

Reviewed in the United States on 9 October 2013

Verified Purchase

Leelah made the inner journey to her true self possible for others to observe by sharing her writing openly. I feel gratitude for her vulnerability and showing it is possible to come through all the lies we learn and perpetuate thus proving it is possible to get through the web of lies to the true self where LOVE resides in each of us.
This is an especially remarkable gift for those of us who have undergone trauma at a young age. Not being a victim is the phrase of the day, however for those who were victims at very young ages it can take much work and love from self and others to come into realizing we don’t have to identify with that victim once she had been heard and loved back to wholeness.

 

 

The fear of being visible as an artist

I am taking a 7 week course called Feminine Power lead by Claire Zammit. Extraordinary in its thoroughness to take a break with the old patriarchal consciousness as the main model for thinking in my life.

In that course, we are showed ways to reconnect with Higher Intelligence,/ Deeper Knowing / Self/ God / Universe – and we are asked to find one time we were truly connected to that awe-inspiring illuminated Power.

I was educated as an artist – and this happened in my 3.year:

The Arts and Crafts Museum adjacent to our School had been asking for sketches  for a poster to a new Russian exhibition. For some reason I was chosen. During those three years I struggled a lot to make great results – and  was not interested in the very process of creation itself: in my Course of Study, Graphic Design and Advertisement, the result was adamant.

And still – her I was now, feeling completely FREE in painting, for the first time since  a very small child. IT was using ME to become visible, it poured through me, my choice of colors where utterly different from my usual choices. I was in a timeless state of mind, it all floated, I had  made no sketches, it flowed  from Source through me, and I allowed it without questioning.

As I painted. More and more students flocked around the table, and there was an atmosphere of elevated rapture and delight – soft whispered expressions of  wonder. Time was absent. There were teachers around me too, they too joined the silence.

The next I remember – this is 50 years ago – was that one week later, my teacher told me the museum had told him that my painting had gone up in fire. Nothing left.  –

A few years after this, I was hired to decorate a new Hard Rock Café in town. I chose to make large reliefs from plyboard and textile from figures from Alice in Wonderland. They were also “new” to me when I made them – a mixture of painting and textile art that truly was “me.”

And after then – just when the Cafe was about to open – it burnt down- all to the ground

I see this as an old belief creating evidence for itself: it is dangerous to “stick out” and be seen – you will be attacked.” This was truly an operative belief in my life as child and youth – and it manifested.  I remember the feeling of “don’t excel as a woman.”

I later wanted to become a dancer instead – truly enjoyed it – and ruptured the right knee.

Then after having sung for 12 years in choirs, my voice also changed dramatically – from first soprano to lower than alto.

So it truly seemed that being a woman and excelling in the arts was not a good idea.

So, instead I educated myself as an expressive arts therapist and used my talents there –now I could use all the creative modalities to teach how creativity brings us back into connection with the original joy and life that we are –  so it is obvious how the Universe sets us up for success, as Claire insists –

I am here with you know to truly share these beliefs of feminine creativity and success – and even though I have lived through all that, something in me still hold on to my products:  book-manuscripts  –  paintings – poetry – strange shamanic figures ( adorable they are ) –  there is a cold and silent space around it – I want it OUT and something in me is so scared of it getting OUT

My two first posts/sharing  at the Facebook group of Feminine Power are held back for  moderation – for nine days now – it’s not difficult to see how strongly these beliefs create evidence for themselves – I have proved it 🙂

I am willing to release those beliefs now

Thank you Feminine Power management for mirroring it for me

(It was also mirrored by a sweet woman form the management calling me from the States to wish me a warm welcome!)

********

Last news:  I practiced feeling my true desires to “get this out” to the public – all my manuscripts, art, poetry,  stories including my posts at Feminine Power. “You may go and check now Facebook now” said Intuition.

And opening the Facebook site with the group – there it was

This is The Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aligning with Source

Incredible exciting things are happening – it’s all about alignment. “ I choose to love only God”  evolves joyfully into “ I choose to align with Love.”

1)I have hearing aids the last 4-5 years. For me, not hearing good is connected with something I do not want to hear. And again for me, that has turned out to be God or Self.

This morning there was after 3 days constant practice easy to align.

I went to the PC in the morning – my favorite means for distraction, and an old pattern – to  need closeness from others to feel safe and OK. Needing approvement  from the outside has always laid at the bottom  of the “me” I have created – as my main lifeline.

Now I was asked by Spirit to stay in focus.

I worked with a manuscript for a magazine, and saw something on my desktop, and started to edit a text from Jeshua, coming through Judith Coates. I had copied it from a Newsletter and the formatting needed editing. It took a lot of time, I grew heavy and dense and exhausted.

I stopped the work – and asked Spirit “where did I fall off the horse?” And immediately saw the editing. I was editing Jeshua words into a more space-economical form J

The moment I recognized it, all the power came rushing back, I was fully present.

2) At breakfast, I had decided to not end the breakfast with something sweet – usually bread with honey and cinnamon. This has been my habit for years. I found a reason not to break the habit J and felt heavy and sluggish.  And yes, it was not because of the honey, but because I had changed my decision and broken a promise to my self.

Now too did the life force return pretty instantaneous.

3) I was stitching. Gradually feeling exhausted. Realized that underlying the process was  again the old pattern of hoping for approvement from others stitchers on Facebook. I stopped and spoke to Spirit again, affirming that I wanted to ALIGN and do the work WITH this alignment.

What I before ( and now) thought was the effect of low blood sugar now realigned itself into full presence within a minute.

Very exciting it is, very promising – and very demanding when it comes to focus on alignment. Burt it has also truly convincing: I want this alignment MOST OF ALL. It is simply HOME.

 

 

Core Transformation

I am doing a process from a book called  Core Transformation by Connierae Andreas.

The part of me that constantly distracts me from relaxing and sitting down to just be – or meditate – turned out to distract me in order to be able to feel relaxed herself Only when I felt constantly occupied and mentally frizzled could she relax – since me “relaxing” meant allowing up images and memories that could not be survived for a little girl.

The journey back to Source felt wonderful. After each answer from her, I thanked her and breathed and felt it inside.

What do you get from distracting me?

I get close to myself. I get more into my body, I can even feel what I want and need. That feels incredibly good. I trust myself more, I am more a friend to myself. It feels wonderful!

What would that give you ( that was even deeper?)

It brings me in touch with a deep longing. To feel this longing feels essential.

To feel that longing deeply – what gift would that bring you, that was even deeper?

I would know that I was loved by God –  not alone.

And would there be something even deeper than that, that you would get?

That God is inside me – always – I am never alone. I cannot lose Him/Her.

And what would you have if you had this too? What would it give you?

And here came the great release:

I would extend that light to others. Show it – and see that it is received and treasured.

Thank you! And having that –what would be even more profound?

Having that would give me perfect eternal joy.

Having this joy – and living from it – how would that make your life different?

I am perfectly guided by Love. Everything I need is provided. Situations too. I would simply be played by Source, trusting from moment to moment, enjoying it tremendously. Knowing where to go, whom to say what to. No planning for myself – no more worries. Being danced by Joy, living in a wave of perfect trust outside time. Life lifing me 🙂

Thank you! How does this state of Joy transform your need to keep me distracted?

The thought of distracting you is impossible. I would only share this unchanging joy with you – anything else is impossible.
*
Then I did the timeline-experience. It felt great to move that pure joy-energy through all the stages of “my” childhood and later traumas and shocks.

AND: patience is called for here. I sat down this morning and felt a need to distract myself. Felt disappointment at first – then I decided to log on to Word and share this. I realize that I don’t need to resist the need to distract when I arises – the ability to just look at it now and not judge it is utterly beautiful.

Alarmclock-miracle

I woke with the incessant morning agony – mixture of suicidal thoughts and murderous ones. Quite a soup I tell you! Now,  I am aware that Spirit is trying to tell me something here – I know I am not a victim of this, just something my soul wants to convey. And it did – very sweetly and to the point this morning.

I sat up in bed and aligned with my Source of Light – acknowledging that my Father and I am One. At once, I saw that the repeated energy came from the archetypes Fuckeat and Child, described in “When Fear Comes Home to Love.” I have found these two to be polarities, where the one is dominant, the other is a shadow.

When that realization came, I recognized 1) this is what Jeshua calls ” a creation” – and 2) I want to find what is the neutral part in both of them – what is the first feeling expressed that was judged and repressed/denied.

Big relief just by realizing this.

The innocent first feeling of what later has grown into  the Fuckeat archetype in the human mind ( the fear-archetype which consists of murder-lust,domination,all kind of brutality and human perversions) – the first what came up for me was:

I hurt  – and since nobody is willing to care and comfort me, I need to see this hurt on another face = projection.

The first feeling of Child ( the victim archetype:) I need my caretakers to acknowledge my innocence  and vulnerability as beautiful.

I saw both of the archetypes before they were projected and judged – just natural thoughts and needs in the human mind, believing itself to be outside God’s love, having to prove itself valuable by its deeds – denying the eternal beauty and love that is God’s gift to Its child. I forgave the judgments I have projected on those two early separation thoughts  – I felt an opening,a release – and then I spoke out loud:

” And now I do embrace you.”

The my clockmaker by my bed gave two signals ….OOHH! New funny miracle! I meant to write  my alarm clock gave two signals and then stopped – but the word-correcting program wrote Clockmaker instead – which means my mind 🙂

Of course – the little machine did not do it, the smiling Self that I call BLUE did it through the electronic device. And the word-correcting program…is such a great symbol for Holy Spirit, who is the Loving Spirit who corrects my perceptions.

The sweet thing is – I thought I had turned that clock off – and when I looked at it, I had. Just two sweet pling-plings.

I guess that is what Child and Fuckeat are seen as from above – as figures in a movie, an illusion.

And please read me right: In no way do I mean to minimize the atrocities that the human is perpetrating to him/herself and each other –

but from above, Love looks down on us and see that the soul wants experiences – and in my case, I am now willing to see that the Soul wanted to be both victim and aggressor throughout its incarnations – because, how else can my mind learn that only what I embrace, I can heal?

What I embrace is in essence just energies – and when they are judged as not worthy to exist, they go underground and grow in darkness and bestiality.

I can see now the huge power in choosing Love – and inside, extending Love to anybody who acts out of confusion and fear and old patterns – and recognizing myself as one of us who deeply and truly wants to wake up, and therefore on a higher level  has chosen to be one of the creators  of these fear-archetypes – now I can fully dis-identify from both Fuckeat and Child –

I am the Loving Space and embrace of it

just like you

 

Invitation to online Playshop in healing

This quote from Rainer Maria Rilke is since 1988 the motto for my work as Expressive Arts Therapist at my studio; “Yes to the Soul.”

*
I want to speak to you about something that is very close to my heart. It is about how play, creativity, and silliness can be magical door-openers into what we have run away from – in a safe way.

I am here today to extend an invitation for a playshop (not workshop.) Some days ago, Spirit came through loud and clear and presented a structure for pioneering groupwork. Those who resonate with this will come together for a 7 weeks online playshop. Our intention is to bring healing to something we still haven’t accepted, embraced and forgiven – a “dragon.” As Rilke points out, it needs our help – and the help will come from our Self (Source, Higher Power, inner guidance, God, call it what you want.)

True healing happens when we come back into alignment with our essence. Trying to heal is struggle. Allowing intuition/Source to lead is something else altogether.

I am calling out to those playful dedicated souls who want to wake up and see through the dragons of illness, pain and victimization. That does not necessarily mean that illness and pain disappears: it means that we discover that they truly offer potentiality for great transformation.

And when we put our swords of judgment and resistance away, the dragons may relax and let the princesses out – the princesses being our own denied innocent needs and feelings. It is my experience, working like this the last 29 years in private practice and teaching it, when we stop opposing the illnesses/pain/problems, and instead opens to them with interested curiosity, creativity and PLAY, wonders may happen and princesses have been known to come out and jig happily.

(You who just decided “ Oh I can’t do that. I knew it. I don’t belong here“ – come back. Of course you are.)

We will each pick one dragon – a dis-ease, an illness, physical or emotional. We will set an intention of changing our relationship to it – from wanting to get rid of it – fix it – or “try to heal it” – to simply allowing it to BE and ***allow*** Source to take care of with it. It can do that only when we step back and get another perspective: creativity and

PLAY

When we are playing, we are stepping back from our limitations and our incessant drive to fix and perform and have validation from outside. Play opens you to a level of consciousness where more of YOU can come out. And we are receiving the magic of changing perspective on the dragon, on pain, on ourselves.

When WE step back, willing to play with the exercises***, not doing them for anybody but ourselves, to play and explore, then LOVE is free to flow into it in ways that are surprising and fun. And transforming! And even if the dragon may not be transformed, our MIND will be: we will be aware of that Something that directs our “creations”, we will notice themes arising in the group that show our connectedness. Maybe we will discover that there is so much more to our lives than what we have believed possible. What if we even may have seen through the veil of separation – seeing the illness as a messenger and an opportunity to love this part of us deeper.

***Practically: I will send you a creative exercise each Monday for seven weeks. It will be one theme each week. You need absolutely no “artistic” talent or practice. It is not about the result – it is about our willingness to play and explore and allow the love and energy inherent in the exercises to just express itself, just follow it where it wants to go. If you can only draw stick-men, that’s perfectly fine. Experience tells me that the more we trust and surrender to the process of simply doing these simple exercises, without trying to heal our dragon, the more freedom and space we give to our expressions. The more we get out of the way, Love can step in.

We will have a private group on Facebook, where we can post photos of our doodles, sketches, word-plays, photos etc. It is not to be judged. I see clearly – and sweat when I write this , like my body is underlining it for me:

Change will happen in our relationship to the dragons when we allow them to transform through our playfulness and non-seriousness – simply trusting and surrendering to a process we cannot control.

And precisely THERE Love and transformation enters.

I am sending this out now to find you. If you resonate, please email me with your name and mail address. There are only 2 places open.

About me:
In short: I have a studio – “Yes to the Soul” – where I since 1988 have worked with those who want to wake up to our true nature, and have used play and creativity as the main means for this. The process has always shown us that there is Something that leads our stories and expressions – and that this Something is nothing else than your own playful innocent magical Self.
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