The Guardian of the Cave

I was returning from the Police-office, situated on a peninsula, having in vain tried to have them give me a new identity-card – since my bank insisted on it.They told me my “now -identity” was not good enough. I think this is hilarious – since A Course in Miracles teaches that my true identity is Child of God, made in Her image.

So of course I need to update it 🙂

They did not have any free appointment- time until June this year! And the bank insisted they need to have the new – me within three weeks.

That would mean, of course, that I would be without identity until June – hah

I was laughing inside of this sweet craziness from the Universe, wondering what more symbols I would be dished.

It came very soon. I was walking by the shore back to the bus stop. It was ice, mud and slippery, and I was approaching a construction place where something big was being erected. Lots of machines, trenches, men in orange dresses and protective helmets. I tried to be invisible as I walked on, and a kind and very handsome man stopped me and told me I was in a restricted area. I told him I was just passing through to find the bus-stop, he told me that the path was closed by a gateway with a lock. We looked at each other, I just waited for what would happen now. He then started to walk in front of me to the opening to a dark tunnel behind the locked door ( the door was of see-through-iron). He found a key and unlocked the door for me, and I felt like the Guardian of the Cave had opened it for me.

He smiled radiantly, and did not say a word – and I moved through.

It was like a mini-tunnel- maybe 10 meters long – the smallest path, a vertical stone wall on the left side, and deep dark water on the right side. Not a safe place, easy to slide into the water, but I had a staff to support me, and I felt just – FREE and happy. The Guardian of the Cave had unlocked it, and the symbol did not elude me.

Then suddenly I was through the passage, and discovered that this “forbidden” path had saved me a lot of time and distance.

This is an illustration 🙂 not the actual cave

The Energy and Pattern of Force

Just before the last steep little hill before Home, she holds. The backpack is very heavy, since she told herself she had to fill it with lot of oat milk -since oat milk was essential for her happiness. So she is rather tail-heavy. -She needs to traverse a tiny bump – maybe 10 cm tall – before she can slide down 10 meters and then start to climb the short steep hill. A minor thing can have major consequences -and as she moves the right ski and places it on the bump, her balance is thrown off and she starts to slide backwards. Time slows to a halt, she knows she will fall, and it does not feel good – last time she fell, she broke a wrist.

There is a loud CRACK. Not much pain, though – but still –

She starts to cry heavily, unstoppable, manages to take her skies off and carries them in her hands.

At home, it does not feel so bad – but the following days, the right arm and right side of the chest start to feel deeply painful, and there is difficulty in exercising.

Way of Mastery is adamant: it is our way of thinking that creates everything. And this time, she realizes that the energy in the moment she decided to traverse the hill with skies on, was a situation of force , not respect, not time to feel into – just crash through the block before her.

And that lack of kindness and consideration created the crack.

This choice had a wide reaching consequences :a week later, there is deep pain on the right side at the tip of the lung, maybe in the liver too, the right arm feels like something has crushed inside it.

A whole night, sitting up in bed, being with this pattern of forcing herself, brings her to an epoch making memory: she sits at a table, maybe nine-ish, her father to the right, he is explaining something that has to do with numbers, and there is a strong demand of having to “get this” NOW!!!” or else –

Or else she is hopeless – and has NO value.

She freezes, and her father explodes – and she spaces out and makes a decision about herself: how stupid and unworthy she must be – clearly nothing in her is lovable – she is a false specimen – so THAT IS WHY she is constantly abused by men – something in her WANTS it to punish herself –

And now, sitting in bed at night, she cries a waterfall when she realizes that her father acts out the other side of the coin – the importance to make one’s child see the importance to understand things, be on the top, and crush one’s needs instantly –  in order to have a place in the family – one’s main role.

An unfathomable peace flows through her as she sees the terror in the father – and that his outburst has absolutely nothing to do with her.

She sees her TRUE father behind his mask – her best friend, a true soulmate.

Now the pains in the body are seen like the consequences of a whole life crushing her own needs – and the choice has been HERS all along. Use force and pressure to walk through life, minimize all needs, call yourself a hopeless wimp when you need time to feel safe.

*

In Hilaryon Stories, I have recognized all characters to be parts of me/my Soul. In Part 2 there is a foul weather and a staff with evil in it entering – and all the characters must deal with its influence. Thank God they do so with playful creative means. Without Johann Sebastian’s music ***and the marvelous joyous Croc and his loving interventions it would look very bad –and I remind myself that they are all parts of my soul, helping me meet and transform the dark stuff within

All that stuff has a shining shimmering joyful essence. To see my father now TRULY is erasing the past that I have made.

The false images crumble – dusty costumes fall off – light is the very essence of it all

Thank you so much for reading this through