Good Mother

Today, a young refugee entered the bus and sat down beside me. The bus was almost empty. He looked like from Iraq. I was reading an English book, and he spoke in Arabic and pointed to it. His fingernails were bitten almost right down. Something in me instantly felt like The Good Mother. The man bent over close to me to look at each page I read, as if reading with me. Instead of being annoyed, I noticed that I almost offered him a place on my lap. There was such a loving Motherly space around us. When he left, he bowed to me. It felt like something huge and transformative had happened.

Later in the day I broke through an age old fear pattern  – I am so happy happy happy about it!

There is a pattern in me designed to scare me away from “going out there”, asking for what I want, and also being honest about feelings and things I do not like. An old outmoded way of “protecting me from being attacked.” It has prevented me many times for speaking up and being adult.There were about 2,5 zillion stories to substantiate the habit – and little Leelah believed in them all.

So we have had a team of roofers rehabilitating our rows of roofs. Excellent job – they were helpful, skillful, kind and willing. My little roof on a storeroom needed a new drain – and they managed to put it on a place where it did not collect the water.

I wrote a mail to the boss about it, and he has not answered it – which fires up this disaster part in me – it tells stories about how he doesn’t give a shit, will be rude, will be much more than rude, will in fact seek me up and stalk me until my last day.

You know, I am able to see the soooo over the board-scenario here – and still, each time I have thought about him, wanting to call him, the instant fear shock in the body – the old “don’t do this” overwhelms my nervous system, I lose my words and space out, my doctor calls it “near-psychotic.”  But Blue was making it quite clear that this situation was a gift, in the respect that I just needed to do what I abhor to do – tell people what may seem like criticizing them. It physically hurt like hell.

Blue said: do it anyway.

“I will lose my words!”

Oh, write what you want to say then -that will give you a feeling of some safety.

I called, and read a couple of sentences – no blame, just so – and he answered with the kindest voice that this was on his list, they would be there soon, and that it would me cost me anything.

All of my stories feel like an enormous domino chain.

The energetic release from this has been no less than enormous.

I think I was a good mother to myself there

Tapping for senseless tragedy – EFT

These are Dawson Church’s words:

Tapping for Senseless Tragedy

Dear EFT Community, friends, and family,

We live in a world in which the news is full of senseless tragedies. From terrorist attacks, to school shootings, to random acts of violence.

These tragedies can disturb and upset us. Often, we feel helpless, because there seems to be nothing we can do to prevent them, or to help the people affected by them.

However, there is always one thing that we can do, and that is to remain calm, loving, peaceful and compassionate within ourselves.

When we get upset, worried, angry, guilty or sad, we are not in a position to offer anything helpful to those around us. But when we cultivate inner peace regardless of the senseless tragedies in the world, we become a beacon of love and compassion to everyone around us.

From this empowered inner state, we are much better equipped to respond effectively and appropriately to the suffering in the world around us.

I wrote this tapping script to use when we feel emotionally overwhelmed by senseless tragedy.

Tap through the points in any order that feels good to you. In the script, I suggest specific points to tap, but these are guidelines only, and you can pair tapping on any point with any of the affirmations. A tapping diagram appears below the tapping script.

When you’ve used the script, please share your experiences with others. Use this link to Facebook to encourage and support other people who are struggling with these same issues.

You are even more powerful when you share your strength!

Thank you,

Dawson Church 

*

Tapping Script for Seemingly Senseless Tragedies

/Leelah’s remark: you find an illustration of the location of the points under the article. I now tap each time I see horrible images, which makes it so much easier not to be overwhelmed and terrified by them./

KC (Karate Chop Point): Even though I don’t understand this senseless tragedy.

KC (Karate Chop Point): Even though I can’t believe people would do such a thing.

KC (Karate Chop Point): Even though I can’t believe this is happening.

KC (Karate Chop Point): I deeply and completely accept myself.

EB (Eyebrow): I can’t imagine the things that happen in the world.

SE (Side-of-eye): I can’t believe we live in a world in which such things are a possible.

UE (Under-eye): Why would anyone do such a thing?

UN (Under-nose): It doesn’t make any sense.

CH (Chin): It doesn’t make sense to hurt other people.

CB (Collarbone): It doesn’t make sense to cause such suffering.

UA (Under-arm): It doesn’t make sense to cause such violence.

KC (Karate Chop Point): And even though all this violence and suffering makes no sense.

KC (Karate Chop Point): I deeply and completely accept myself.

[Repeat while taking three deep breaths and tapping the KC point]

EB: It could have been me.

SE: It could have been my family.

UE: It could have been my loved ones.

UN: It could have been my friends.

CH: It could have been anybody.

CB: All those poor people.

UA: All that suffering.

KC: All that violence.

EB: I can’t help them.

SE: I can’t help myself.

UE: I can’t help the ones I love.

UN: I can’t protect anyone.

CH: All my regrets.

CB: Can’t help any of them.

UA: Can’t help me.

KC: Can’t help the people I love.

KC: And even though there’s nothing I can do.

EB: Nothing I can do.

SE: Nothing I can do.

UE: Nothing I can do.

UN: Nothing I can do.

CH: Nothing I can do.

CB: Nothing I can do.

UA: Nothing I can do.

KC: Nothing I can do to help those who are suffering.

KC: I deeply and completely accept myself.

[Repeat while taking three deep breaths and tapping the KC point]

EB: I now send love from my heart.

SE: To all those who are suffering.

UE: As a result of this senseless tragedy.

UN: I now send love from my heart.

CH: To all the people in the whole world who are suffering.

CB: I now send love from my heart.

UA: To all the people I know.

EB: All my friends and all my family.

KC: I now send love from my heart.

EB: To myself.

SE: To the parts of myself that are suffering.

UE: To the parts of myself that are violent.

UN: To the parts of myself that are senseless.

CH: To the parts of myself that cause harm.

CB: That cause harm to myself and others.

UA: That cause harm.

KC: And even though I’m not perfect, I deeply and completely accept myself.

[Repeat while taking three deep breaths and tapping the KC point]

EB: I don’t know why this tragedy happened.

SE: I’m powerless to do anything about it.

UE: I can’t even understand it.

UN: And even though I am unable to understand it.

CH: And even though I am unable to help.

CB: And even though I can’t do anything.

UA: And even though I’m helpless.

KC: I deeply and completely accept myself.

EB: I can’t help them.

SE: I can’t help myself.

UE: I can’t help anybody.

KC: And even though I’m helpless, I deeply and completely accept myself.

[Repeat while taking three deep breaths and tapping the KC point]

KC: My being upset.

KC: Is not going to help anybody.

EB: My being angry.

SE: Is not going to help anybody.

UE: By being angry and upset.

UN: I’m adding to the anger and upset in the world.

CH: I choose now to release it.

CB: I choose now to release my own suffering.

UA: I choose to be at peace.

KC: Despite this terrible tragedy.

KC: I send peace and love from my heart.

KC: To everybody suffering now.

KC: I send peace and love from my heart.

KC: To my own suffering mind.

KC: I send peace and love from my heart.

KC: To the whole world.

KC: Despite this terrible tragedy.

KC: I choose to be at peace.

EB: I use this terrible tragedy.

SE: As a reminder of how important it is for me to be at peace.

UE: As a reminder to be a person of peace in the world.

UN: No matter how violent that world is.

CH: I choose to be a person of peace.

UA: I choose to be a person of love.

KC: I choose to be a person of kindness.

KC: I choose to be a person of peace, love, and kindness.

[Repeat while taking three deep breaths and tapping the KC point]

EB: I resolve that every thought I think.

SE: Will be nothing but peace and kindness.

UE: I resolve that every feeling in my heart.

UN: Will be nothing but compassion and love.

CH: Filling myself now with compassion, love, peace and kindness.

CB: I send that energy out into the world.

UA: To touch and heal everyone.

KC: I am a powerful creator.

KC: I have powerful energy.

KC: And I now send that powerful energy out into the world.

KC: To touch everyone else with peace compassion and kindness.

EB: That is what I can do.

SE: This is in my power.

UE: I may feel powerless.

UN: In the face of this senseless tragedy.

CH: I have power.

CB: To send the energy of love out into the world.

KC: I have the power.

KC: To create peace and love in my own heart.

KC: In my own body.

KC: In my own energy field.

EB: I now claim my power.

SE: To create peace and love in myself.

UE: And send those intentions out into the world.

UN: I am a powerful creator.

CH: And I choose to use my creativity.

CB: To create peace and love all around me.

UA: No matter what else is happening in the world.

KC: And no matter what choices other people make.

KC: My choice is clear.

KC: I have made my choice.

KC: And my choice is to be a person of peace and love.

KC: In my own mind, my own body, and my own energy field.

EB: I radiate peace and love all around me.

SE: Despite this senseless tragedy.

UE: Despite all the tragedies in the world.

UN: I choose to be a person.

CH: Of peace and love.

CB: I choose to be a beacon.

UA: Of peace and love.

KC: I choose to be a person.

KC: Of compassion and kindness.

[Repeat while taking three deep breaths and tapping the KC point]

EB: No matter what choices everybody else’s making.

SE: Only I choose how I feel.

UE: Only I choose the kind of person I am.

UN: And I choose to be a person of love.

CH: I choose to be a beacon of kindness.

CB: I choose to be a person of compassion.

UA: I fill my own heart with compassion.

KC: I fill my own body with compassion.

KC: And I fill my own mind with compassion.

KC: I walk into this day as a beacon of love and compassion.

EB: Kindness is not weak.

SE: Compassion is not weak.

UE: Peace is not weak.

UN: Compassion is stronger than fear.

CH: Kindness is stronger than violence.

CB: Peace is stronger than any tragedy.

UA: Love is stronger than fear.

KC: And as a person of love, peace and kindness.

KC: I walk now into this day.

EB: My heart is at peace.

SE: My mind is at rest.

UE: And I am strong.

UN: I am love.

CH: I am peace.

CB: I am kindness.

UA: I am compassion.

KC: I am.

[Repeat while taking three deep breaths and tapping the KC point]

 

———-

 

Other Resources:

• Overcoming Adversity: How Energy Tapping Transforms Your Life’s Worst Experiences: A Primer for Post-Traumatic Growth by Caroline Sakai, PhD

• EFT for PTSD by Dawson Church, PhD

• The EFT Manual by Dawson Church, PhD (see the chapter on The Gentle Techniques for tapping for trauma)

• Psychological Trauma: Healing Its Roots in Body, Mind and Memory by Dawson Church, PhD

 

 

Sharing:

Please share your experience on Facebook here 

Email a link to this page to any of your friends affected by tragedy

 

Healing Without Rejecting

Written yesterday, November 15

I  experience right now  the very essence of what I have called the inner attacker in my mind – that I so often have manifested/projected on the “outside” world. To allow it is a bliss beyond words, and still I will use words to share with you.

What gave the rise to the healing that is now in action – is this:

I share two long ladders with my neighbors in the row of our houses. You can hatch them into each other if you need to climb really high. My new neighbors have put up a new “holder” for it – – and now I have to stand on a smaller ladder to reach up under the roof where these two big ladders are hatched into each other, to take one of them down. They weigh a lot. The little ladder is wiggly and so I feel very wobbly up there.

This put me straight into the very essence of this old attach/defense-wound: “They (my neighbor) WANT me to fall down, to suffer, to hurt myself. They are attacking me. I HATE THEM and want them to suffer as I do.”

It is remarkable to notice that all this still go on on the inside, like a tape – and that as long as I do not become aware of it, IT commands my mind: I think this is ME.

AMAZING to experience the power of it.

I got another taller neighbor to get one of the ladders down for me – he too had to struggle hard to get separate them from that hatch-mechanism – (seen as a proof that I was right in my judgment of my neighbors. And that my intense hatred of them was justified – my strong perception and belief was that they did this to attack me.)

People – this is how it looks when we carry deep old atrocious pain from our childhood – and have been told by parents and society that” you are BAD if you have these BAD feelings – anger is BAD, and especially GIRLS are BAD when they show them. Hatred: oh you are beyond redemption – since now GOD does not love you either. God ONLY loves nice children.”

So I braved myself and went over to my neighbors, and the woman came out. Her face looked contorted when she opened her door – and now I realize that this were mirror-neurons – her face reflected how I looked and felt unconsciously. Still, we talked friendly how we could solve this – and she told me that her husband, who is very tall, had bumped his head into the ladder when it was lying in the way it used to before they got this new hatch.

It turned out that she talked in generally – but my first impulse was that my sin had almost killed him.

OHMYGOD maybe he now lied inside bleeding because of me – GUILTY BAD GIRL – I must be punished

And everything the body felt at that time  60 years ago when this was learned, I learned to push down – or rather, the defense mechanism pushed it.

And so it has been all my life – 71 years – and this morning, I was turned around TOWARD the wound, with Matt Kahns words. He is teaching us how to talk to our self:

“So we close our eyes and relax our breath, and I say on your behalf: whether to this mind, to this heart, to this body, to any memory, to any grudge, to any disappointment, to any grief, to any loss, to any form of lack, to any illness, disease or unbalance: “I am so sorry that I have judged you so harshly and forgotten that you are a catalyst of Divinity. No matter how you were sent, and how you appear in my life. I realize that you are bringing to my attention an opportunity for me to enter into such an accelerated journey of healing beginning to balance the decease or the conditions that has come to me. As of this moment, I no longer judge myself for what I have manifested,I no longer judge other for what I seem to be dealing with, and instead I realize that I have manifested this as an opportunity to grow in consciousness, to manifest what I have previously judged as “less”, or “lacking”, as something less than the Light, and it is an opportunity for me to change my relationship with Life.”

This radiant moment I understand why it says that Light has no opposite: it’s because of my judgment of the situation/what is happening that I perceive the Light as darkness and pain – in reality, this is the greatest gift Life and God could give me right now.

“Thank you for being in my life. I love you so much. You are beautiful and you are wonderful just as you are. And maybe instead of asking the Universe to heal this and clear this out of my field – what if I take a revolutionary step: What if I say to the disease, the imbalance, to the pain, to the suffering, what if I say to IT: what can I do for you to give you a better experience of me?”

And so – this is what I did this morning – when I sensed the utterly familiar sensation of the lump: hatred, this shouldn’t be like this, I am wrong, I do it wrong, I hate myself, I hate THEM, I hate God for not helping me through this ( writing this, my heart is skipping beats) oh this is hopeless I give up (but at least I am being nice about it.)

And I turned toward it and asked it what Matt suggested.

This is a collective thought form/entity/”being” that the Holy Son of God has manifested since time and space and has accepted as real. It is not “mine” – and I have made it utterly mine, because of my denial of its Original Light. In this moment, in this One Mind that I Am – it is being brought to healing.

“What can I do for you to give you a better experience of me?”

The first it said was “please give up your judgment of me – that turns me into darkness.”

And then “ just BE with me as the judgment-spell is taken off me”

I realize I have demonized my Self – and that It is not in the least affected by it – why? Because I am ever only hurt by my perception: in reality, the Self is eternally pure and Holy Spirit, but I – and we all – have pretended it is not.

And that is the prerequisite for separation.

In reality, nothing happened – and as long as I still partly identify with the body, I will experience the consequences of that original error –

But it is not serious, as Jesus repeatedly tells us in the Course, and in the Way of Mastery.

This is Matt’s take on healing without rejecting

“-How can I serve you – your sweet pain?

“- If we ever turn into whatever we try to heal, let us remember the two word mantra “Thank You. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for being what guarantees my love becomes unconditional. Thank you for being immune for all my spiritual negotiation and manipulation, for not allowing me to turn away from this invitation to love myself. Thank you for the opportunity to be a steadfast teacher in my life and to only bring to my attention how much more support and love that I need to give to myself – even if I live in a world where everyone else seems to be concerned with everyone else except me. Thank you for ensuring my healing will be complete when my love has become more unconditional in nature. Thank you! I love having you in my life. – We have to shift from “I don’t want to have this in my life, to “hello beautiful catalyst of consciousness, hello disease, hello imbalance, hello grief, hello loss, hello disappointment, hello victimhood – what can I do to serve your journey? How can I make your experience of me better? How can I focus on being more interested in serving the experience of the illness and imbalance within me – instead of trying to get rid of it, and how I wish life would change? Can we turn inward, and just complement and honor this illness, imbalance and disease like it is child, just begging for love and approval – “you are perfect the way you are, even if I hate the experience you provide.” I know you are only here to be loved, even if I hate the feelings in my body. How can I create the best experience in my body while you are with me – I know this isn’t going last forever – but this will go on until I change the way I relate to myself, instead of insisting things must change first within me. How can I serve your experience? Let me be your companion – let me be your friend – and may it make my love unconditional – for the evolution of my journey and the benefit for all I am meant to encounter. Thank you for this disease, thank you for this illness, thank you for this imbalance, thank you for this pain, thank you for this adversity, thank you for this opportunity to bear my soul and become more honest, loving ,compassionate and complementary than ever before, thank you thank you thank you.

Everything that shows up in my field is what the other consciousness has not yet embraced. It does not matter if it is “mine” or “their” – it is here to be complemented like I am its closest companion.

.

Breaking the cycle of Self Judgment

I love this so much – to be reminded about WHY we keep the self judgments  – I tend to forget it when it comes to me, so I guess this may be valuable for you too – ? 🙂

 

Extending LOVE to the “dark parts”

Here is a true story from “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – the miraculous effects of including what we have judged as “dark” into our Love. 25 years has passed since that workshop – I still remember it so clearly

 Come Home, Beloved: loving the outcast / case story / 1990

In a continuous creative / spiritual group many years ago, Sue shared with us how a couple, living in an apartment below, was continuously fighting and screaming. Things were thrown around and made a lot of noise. She was afraid that the woman was being beaten and abused. Sue was scared and did not know how to interfere. This evening, several of the group-members had similar dark stories about violence to share. I saw it as an opportunity to deal with the violence within our own souls – the way we are violent toward our own impulses to feel whatever we are feeling, the violent ways most Jhydes* deny our needs, in order to “be nice” and pleasing.

We sat in our circle, and we invited the Holy Spirit’s Presence in. We opened our hearts for Unchangeable Love – to find the space in our heart that can embrace the dark. We invited, into this circle of love:

The rejected – the denied – the judged – the hated – the un-allowed – the shamed – the humiliated – the laughed at – the leprous.

The energy grew dense and strong – but we had prepared our container, presenting no resistance: now it could just be there.

Afterward, we made paintings of our own personal image of darkness, there and then. We listened to what these dark aspects of ourselves needed. We shared the images, and what the rejected parts needed – and then we placed the paintings in the center of our circle, close to the candle burning there – having in mind that we at the same time intentionally brought the rejected parts of our mind to the center of Light within: the Source of Love, the I AM.

A radiant light came to us, a tender peace and warmth. And the story could have ended here, but it did not.

When Sue came to group fourteen days later, she told us that when she went to bed the same evening, a strong rose light enveloped her, which she saw as a holy Presence. From that day, there was peace in the apartment downstairs. No more screams, no more blows, no more throwing things.

And for the first time, she heard music playing from the apartment.

*Jhydes: My book describes what I have named “The Jekyll and Hyde-syndrome” –  personalities with deep splits, and abuse on some level which may be completely stuffed deep into the unconscious, resulting in a rich mix of “light” and “dark”. “Jhydes” are the name I have given people growing up with these very strong polarities in the psyche –  the Introduction describes this in detail. If you go to the book on Amazon, it may be possible to read the Introduction there in the Kindle-version

The Conveyor belt

Kit and I, both as therapists and “persons”, experience that just being with whatever in the body – bringing clear awareness to it – is transformational. When we Skype, we take 20 minutes each to be either the “explorer” or “witness.” We can talk about it, or just go directly to the body and ask “what is most alive right now for me, what needs attention inside? “ And examine, with innocence and curiosity, how this feels in our muscles, tissues, bones, intestines. Any images coming up are welcome – and saying YES to it, as it is, and just allowing ourselves to have that sensation – and emotion – will set it free, as long as it is done with wonder and curiosity and wonder – that is, no judgment.

And no judgment means LOVE

When we primarily talk about, we can compare it with being in a field of flowers – the sight and smell may be so overwhelming that we become sedated. The mind simply lures us into talking, discussing, analyzing – but what brings healing is to just sink into the sensation/emotion and BE with it – without all those me-identifying stories.

*

The session put me right into the place where I could see how vehemently I had refused my child-eyes to see something obnoxious and scary brutal. As I stated my willingness to see, I was shown four wolves who served as guardians of the wound – placed there by my wish and decision of course, to protect me when I was small. And now something wonderful happened: I saw those wolves’ faithfulness and absolute loyalty to me, their creator – there was nothing they wouldn’t have done for me. So instead of being angry at the defense-system, my heart melted and I went to them and told them to “lay down.” They obeyed immediately. Then I sat down and opened my arms to them, and they came, all four of them, to receive cuddles. It felt completely real – smell and sounds and all.

It is vital for us to recognize that we all have chosen our defense-systems – only then will it be possible to let go of them, or rather, to have them let go of us – and they will, if we see no value in them any longer, since our perception has been healed.

Blue then told me that there is no point in me continuing seeing details from trauma – “re-living things” – but to allow H.S to show me just the essence of the wound, which in this case is an archetypal wound – the one with perpetrators violating babies and even killing them for their own relief. The relief consists of projecting their own vulnerability outside and attacking it there – now seemingly having killed it off. What a kick that becomes for them – but then it has to be repeated, and becomes an addiction. Blue reminded me that now, that I truly saw this without identifying the perpetrators with their acts –  and seeing how severely their minds were disturbed, for them to be able to act like this –  that now, when images like that comes up for me, i.e. in the media, I can and choose to immediately look beyond the acts to the light behind – or also, look for the light space that the acts are floating in – or, look at the screen the acts are projected on. Remember Plato’s Cave? In all cases will I remember that I am within a dream that the One Son of God(we all) made when we choose to experiment with separating or Self from Source/God – and when I recognize the complete impossibility of that, I am joined with my Self again and all is well.

I find that when I have that intention to notice the “invisible” screen we project on unconscious guilt on, the seemingly constant iron-band around my lungs/chest immediately lightens, and a deep relaxation entering the heart.

What we do when we do this work, is to diffuse the appearances, the illusions. And since we truly are One mind, “the perpetrator’s” soul and the “baby’s” soul will somehow pick up that evil is not almighty: there is a light surrounding it. When just one person is willing to look for the light and truth, therefore the One mind is affected- and then, it is of course each and every one’s choice to notice this- or wait.

But it is unavoidable that we get there – since it is Who we are. And of course Blue reminds me that since time is also just a joint construct in our mind, we already ARE Home – looking back and believing the dream is real.

I remember many stories where people report about being the “victim” in a rape-situation – and that something in them shifted, and suddenly they stopped resisting and looked at their rapist with Christ’s vision – and that the “rapist” recoiled with a look of terror on their face and ran away.

These persons saw right through the illusion of “assailant” to their true Self.

Next step – to truly recognize, as the One mind, that I/we have collective invited this darkness into existence when we decided to believe in a world without God as our One and ONLY Source of life and love.

And then we became mesmerized by what we had created, and forgot that it was just a big show of projections in a holographic universe – and Our very decision to separate became the projector.

I talked to my inner child with Kit as a witness on Skype – telling her that it was safe now, and something deep inside abated, as I just sat with all the strong sensations in the body, without making stories about them. I saw that it was important for the baby that both Kit and I were there – Kit’s kind voice supporting what I told happened in the body, and helping me to stay with it instead of talking about it.

And in the last minute of the session, Kit laughed out loud and told me: “Just now, right outside my window, two ladies stopped. One of them has a baby in a harness on her chest – and right now, they both stopped walking and looked at the baby.

*

Two days after this, I was sitting on the sofa and watching a movie about a young man with Asperger’s syndrome – when, suddenly, I was aware that I was completely inside my body.

OH Simplicity.

Complete absence of drama

Just HERE, with all of me, no “parts” outside, not me outside body either.

It lasted ca an hour. And in the night, when  some heavy stuff came to the surface, I was given a perfect image for me to just let it go:

I am at a conveyor-belt on an airport – there are two tracks of belts, I am in the middle. I place the two bundles of heavy-murkiness on the belts, and watch them travel toward the little door in the wall – and instead of a door, there is only LIGHT that receives the released stuff.

Feel free to try it out – and please comment here if it works well for you