The Inner Child

“I HAVE TO manage this, survive this, overcome this –“

This is the litany of the small inner child – a child who thinks she is without a helping loving God, for sure. She is ugly and bad and guilty, and she MUST be – since all these bad things happen to her –

And it’s all in her beautiful mind – deeply believed in

These days, my TV refuses to let me play with setting it up and choosing stuff from the menu. It freezes. Just like the little girl’s mind froze up under the yearlong attacks, that she so cleverly managed to push down to the dark basement. The first line in this post – if you say it out loud yourself, what do you feel in the body? I feel blocked out from everything that is GOOD and holy, and this “I” feels that she deserves punishment, and that she pays off her guilt to her Father. Her carnal father behaves like a devil sometimes – a Mr.Hyde – and she always justifies it within, in order to adapt to the situation and not be destroyed.

My TV mirrors this to me now– it freezes and won’t let me choose the programs that make me happy – and it won’t let me find a way to TEXT, so I can follow the great series about the Swedish Nobel Price Winner Selma Lagerløf  that I have saved. I need the undertexts – since I don’t hear very well.

The under-texts would symbolize “watching WITH God/Love” – a watching that makes her understand the foreign language. And a teaching from A Course in Miracles.

Her bad hearing is certainly such a symbolization too.

My Holy Self is showing this to me – so I can truly SEE and experience the consequences of the child’s beliefs: a deep belief that she IS a victim that God hates and wants to punish.

And in my life, where everything “outside” mirrors my mind – what an excellent symbol the TV is

Sitting with these thoughts and their energy is the solution. The energy is the inner child.

May this be of help to those who needs it

And may that little child get a space in our heart so she can grow up safely. The belief she repeats incessantly and subconsciously is

“I HAVE TO manage this, survive this, overcome this –“

From Unsplash

And it’s all in her beautiful mind – deeply believed in

Writing it down again – and again – allowing it to be in the open –

allowing myself to feel stupid

allowing

not judging