Home

Today I received a huge gift from a fellow lover of A Course in Miracles: the new edition. 1946 pages.

The book lay on my right side, while I was attending to some old pains and inner jumps around the heart. Each time I have been able to reach deeper into the origin of this old fear imprint. Yesterday I saw that it has to do with the primal pain of being a body who is ripped to peaces by wild animals – reptile brain-memories – but this time also Colosseum memories – the gladiators and the lions.

I have long time stopped to try to figure out if these are personal memories from earlier incarnations  – suffice to say that they belong to the memory pool of mankind, of death and fear of death – and all the human may tell him/herself at the moment of such a death, and therefore carry further in their soul. I am a conduit of it – that I know. The Self has chosen to  “round this off” in this life – that I know.

So now I sat down again with the strange inner “jumpiness” and fear -energy, and asked for help to see. I was shown a group in another country, and I asked to speak to their spokesperson. She came forth, and I told her it was time for this group to allow the energy to return, so they could own it and allow it to transform  – realizing the wonder of forgiveness and their own connection to Self. I also introduced them to Spontaneous Transformation Technique, and felt all the time the connection between the group and me. Wonderful connection, and angels and Masters there to assist.

Then   I closed the connection, and went back to the “being with” the fear place. I prayed to feel safe always – permanent – I prayed to truly remember who I am  in Reality- the Holy Son of God, The Light of God.

Instantly I was nudged to open the new acim-edition randomly. I put my finger in there – there are 1946 pages in that book 🙂 – and my finger landed exactly on “memory”

I felt a deep peace. I will not doubt who I am, and the protection I have as His child. And something deep shifted within this fear filled body.

Then the phone rang. A dear friend who was supposed to come here and play was stuck in traffic, there was a marathon  in town and lots of streets were closed off. She would be very late, she said.

I knew the power of prayer now. So I declared that I was willing to have removed any blocks between us, and intended her to be here latest 5pm. I chose it with all of me.

She just called – and said that about that time, the traffic had mysteriously cleared up, and that she would be here in good time before five pm

And I know – this happens for me – so that I truly shall take it seriously that I am safe, held, helped,assisted,loved, and truly be willing to cancel old belief systems of fear.

I am not alone

I am not alone

I am not alone

Poemcrazy

What is happening for me now –

Sometimes – maybe twice a week or more – I meet somebody’s eyes and we both are completely present and awake. “Foreigners”, that is. And they all feel like the oldest bestest friends. We never stop, I’ve noticed – just a 2-3-second eye-soul contact, deep peacefulness and joy, and then the habit takes our feet away.

But the imprint of love and joining is as strong NOW as it was when it happened – just fully remembering Who we are.

In the night, the dreams are chaotic and very very unpleasant and tiring. But when i get up and abide as Christ, I ask what belief lies under all of that. Then i realize that earlier,this belief was helping me stay “protected” from saying something and causing dangerous situations – so I thank that pattern, own it. and see that it is not valuable any longer.

Today I sat like this in the five-minutes abiding as Christ  – which turned into 3/4 hour – and at some point, a river of toxicity left my brain through my temples or ears in two streams.

Afterwards I felt I had lost about 20 pounds

*
Today I got a new book by Susan Wooldridge:  Poemcrazy. When I was sitting with it, the doorbell started co-cooing like crazy – 6 times, and then a seventh while I was looking at it through the window. THIS IS FOR YOU. DO IT!

Oh yes I will – funny thing is. I have done so many of this word-games she describes in earlier workshops. And now, I am back -and I will find somebody to play with 🙂

Recent poem:

Choices

Left road:

Rain on Monday evenings between 19-21
Military marches for small men with big dogs on Wednesdays
Digging holes for manure Fridays
Flag rising on Sundays, only on municipal buildings
No singing on Thursdays
Whistling: never
Red clothes only Saturday evening after 7pm
Weeping and gnashing of teeth 10 minutes after 5pm each day

Right road:

Moonlight serenades by small insects with lighted bottoms
Checkered dresses and flowered suits whenever
Pink bubbly and chocolate mousse whenever
Nothing matters
Ever
Nothing changes
Ever

Turn around.
Wait for the little red and yellow copter
*

Life Loves Me

The gratefulness I feel right now is enormous

The methods I use and teach as a healer, beside Expressive Arts Therapy, are A Course in Miracles and Spontaneous Transformation Technique©

Yet another digital thingy has helped me lately – my readers will remember  the out-door lamp and the door bell – is the timer on my cell phone! I have used it to time a five minutes x 3-meditation in lesson 3  in The Way of Mastery – and it has done weird things: I sit and wait for the timer to ring – and it does not – and I sit and wait and wait – and it does not ring …

So I open it to look how many minutes I have left, since it feels I have sat there for 10 minutes at least – and the second I grip the phone to open it, it rings.

The two first times this was fun – but now, after this repeating for the last 4 weeks, today I got the idea to watch the TV-clock in front of me. Sure enough, it showed 10 minutes as I sat there waiting for the timer to sound the five-minute-signal.

I was aware that what I started out with today, was the tremendous feeling of pressure and force, OCD-like – I HAVE TO “get” this – control this – understand this. And I sat as Christ with it, allowing it to be there,truly wanting to be guided to realize what the gift was.

These obsessive-compulsive feelings have laid my creative life barren for the last two months: I have been stuck in believing I have to produce a creative “result” – a painting, a sculpture, a poem – instead of enjoying myself playing and watching where it wants to go. Everything has shut down, coalesced into a hard ball of compulsion, no joy whatever,  life becoming dull and pale as a tepid puddle

Now -the cellphone behavior has stayed that way until I at last today KNOW what that time-weirdness was FOR: Yet another digital way my Universe  shows me that I AM SAFE. I am taken care of – I can trust this, and therefore trust the process, completely.

The moment I realized, I left the Christ meditation and found that part of me who had needed to hold on to this compulsive self-coercion as a way to survive. I asked where it could be found in my body: left lung. I went there and saw this terrified one who needed to control herself completely after severe trauma in order to stay safe inside her family. The moment I discovered her and told her that I saw her and was there for her, the energetic connection was made. The dams of grief broke. She saw she was not alone any longer. I acknowledged to her that it had been a vital choice to make when she was little – it would have been dangerous to be open about this in the family – she would not have been heard at all. As long as nobody would see and hear and listen to her, this was a wise choice to take. Holding on to this, creating this pattern, has kept us alive and functioning – and now is the glorious moment to let it out and express, with me as her loving companion.

So she did the best thing she could at that time: making a decision to control ,repress, push away whatever reminded her of the agony.  NOW – with me – she was no longer alone, the spell could be dissolved.

And so we dissolved it – I encouraged her to feel the fear and anger and express in any way she wanted and needed, while I was witnessing it all from a neutral and all-loving observer-state – like a fairy godmother maybe. You know these godmothers – they love us and support us, but will never interfere with our feelings, they trust us completely to have the strength and wisdom necessary to go through life – into the desert and out again. Some even does that in 40 days. I have used a bit longer.

There came a moment where she discovered that the LOVE that embraced her was stronger than the original trauma, and the beliefs unwound beautifully.

I asked her then, what did she need now – after all of this?

Pause. “That you don’t get mad if I fall back into the control-pattern.”

Realizing, that only if I believed that to be serious, I would be in trouble – just being aware that “oh, there I go again, no biggie” would be just fine.

Watching how the ego wants guilt and punishment to strengthen its hold on us

 

Now I checked out the cellphone timer again in 5 minutes –  meditation. Twice. The timer behaving like other timers – signaling after five minutes. What does this mean?

OH! here comes rushes of spiritual energy! It means I am looked after! This is the third time God has shown me She uses whatever means to show me that I am NOT a separated traumatized human being.

The first was my outdoor lamp that lightens automatically when it is dark. Whenever it did not, for 3 years, I could stand there and look at it and find whatever darkness in me at that moment that I believed was true – and acknowledge it and forgive myself – and the light went on.

The second was the electronic door-bell, who the last year has co-cooed in a different way than when one pushes the button – it co-coo’es when nobody is there. Except I now know that my Self is there, each time letting me know to put everything I do away, sit down and pay attention to the energies that wants to come through and be released

The third – all good things go by threes – is today, my cellphone-timer. It took me just one month to see it this time.

All of this – through the last 5 years – to help me see that I am taken care of

It pretty well takes care of the separation-conviction!

It shows me: in each and every situation where “things happen,” I have the choice to how I want to relate to it. As a victim – oh this is too serious, I am being punished, I must have done something to deserve this, I haven’t done “enough “ (therapy, work on myself, exercise blah) – or as creator:

This has come up for me to see and love. I acknowledge that something happened sometime  – in this or other lives / in other dimensions of the multidimensional hologram of the universe, that caused me to make beliefs and draw conclusions from what happened – and what they all have in common is the root-belief of the human: I am on my own here. Every man for himself. Love and acknowledgments must be earned from others/ the outside.

As soon as I turned toward that compulsive obsessive controller inside with curiosity and love, she led me straight back to Source – and then the Outer ( this time the cell-phone) mirrored my new – and true – perception. As soon as I saw the real meaning of the cellphone-behavior, it turned back to normal.

*

Back to the little one in the left lung:

I asked her to imagine out how it would feel to truly KNOW that the pattern was gone, that is was absolutely safe – just pretending , just playing –

She told me it would feel so safe

And how does it feel to feel so safe?

Like life is safe for me –  life is simple – life loves me! LIFE LOVES ME!

I sat as the observer and allowed the energy of this belief to flow through me – LIFE LOVES ME

And we had a little ceremony where she said three times with me I AM LOVED BY LIFE, claiming it and owning it

 

 

Mirrored by my cat

The more I do the STT,* the deeper and more primal the results. And my dreams go right to the basics. This morning I awoke after dreaming about my (deceased) cat Cleo.She came from behind and expected food, which I had ready for her.
When I awoke, I asked what this is about – what does she mirror for me?

Cleo was rejected from her mother as very small – 4 weeks. She was denied nourishment, just like I was – as 4 years old, my mother “died”for me : after a group rape in a wood when I returned, it was not allowed to talk about it – and so there were signals that this did NOT happened – there were no comfort,support,validation – just the underlying message that “there is no place for your feelings.”

There must have been hundreds beliefs and conclusions forming to help me cope and survive – and hatred was certainly one of them – hatred is active. So I hated my mother first – and since that was not a valid solution, I turned the hatred on me – and THEN I repressed it and denied it.

I saw clearly this morning where all the psychic attacks has come from – this hidden hatred at Self has invited in it – the frequency of the hatred naturally attracted more of same frequency.

So back to Cleo – the first week, each morning, she climbed my lap and for about ten minuted she talked to me with her voice, and then jumped down.

Then she started her teachings: when my daughter and I sat in the sofa, Cleo jumped up on the top of the sofa behind us, and hissed and put her claws in our necks. I asked myself that time what that mirrored, and saw that she mirrored my anger – but i did not realize then that it mirrored my unconscious anger at my daughter. The repressed anger I had for my mother I now projected at my daughter: I hated her for not being a mother to me, for forcing ME to BE a mother, when I felt like a four-year old. All of this was repressed of course.

After 7 months Cleo got pregnant with 4 kittens. We kept one – and from day one Cleo hated that daughter. She never would be patted, she never sat on our lap, for as long as her daughter lived. She was mean as hell all those years.When her daughter died, 13 years later, Cleo instantly claimed her place again – now she was the ONLY one. After 13 years we were allowed to pet her and hold her.

I did a STT on that inner four-year old haterer, who lived in the bladder. When she  – that inner part of me – saw how Cleo had mirrored her own hatred and wish to be prioritized, the dams of anger broke,and when I honored her deeply for holding on to all of that, the dams of tears broke. After 68 years I truly embraced that 4 year old with her immense hatred -all judgments GONE.

There were angels around us then and for as long as the STT lasted, and she saw that the LOVE was stronger than the hate.

I realized how much that hidden hatred had attracted more abuse,and dark visitors and demonic material. And working and exploring that for 25 years with my clients and myself, led to me writing  When Fear Comes Home to Love, in the right menu.

The dream and the work with it  – and STT this morning –  is a great conclusion of this work: It is not the hatred in itself that creates “the evil” and the dark attacks – it is our judgments at the hatred, the shame, the feelings of unworthiness it creates – and our identification with these feelings. Merging is a good word.

 

  • Spontaneous Transformation Technique

Are you constantly hungry?

 

I have highly addicted personality.

I also have a fierce determination ( which someone may call stubbornness.) I don’t want to EVER again be on the victim-end of “you have to, or else.” – meaning strict diets that have to be followed religiously.

So I have explored the archetypes with great vigilance and many cold dips, and the latest challenge has been – wait for it

FOOD

As always, as soon as an archetype has presented itself for thorough exploration, * and I have stated my willingness, all the info I need has popped up in media. The latest input is called Bright Line Eating. It states the scientific evidence for the wisdom of completely stopping sugar, flour and even artificial sweetening like Stevia. That is, for us with an addictive personality and brain. Count me in.The author Susan Peirce Thompson, PhD, shows that we need to heal and re-train  part of the brain that has the addiction by removing sugar, flour and even Stevia from all that we eat.

Completely.

I have no doubt that that brain-part must be healed and weaned and retrained – and I knew, after reading the whole book thoroughly, that I wanted to find a way to do it without any kind of limitation at all.

The first thing I did was sitting down and breathing consciously – stating my intention of being with the energy of addictive neediness – the “MUSTMUSTMUST have or I will die.” I committed to not having honey on my bread for breakfast, and truly feeling how it felt. I was curious.

It was  amazing: the field of need opened very fast and deep, and I saw that the purpose of this very field was to prevent the underlying eternal love and natural sweetness to be seen. I realized I could indeed use the very addictive pull as a portal into the sea of LOVE and Self.

I sat with that sweetness; it was all-encompassing, all Motherly. Nourishing, comforting. And a deep peace I haven’t been able to feel in years.

The rest of the day I was vigilant for  situations and thoughts where I sensed the addictive pull for anything at all to put in my mouth to take me away from HERE ( and also to divert my attention, like TV and Internet and Facebook.) I thanked it for coming and sat with it, with the willingness to sense what was just under it. The sweetness or nourishment was there constantly.

Breakfast today – should I take that honey now? I knew, “yes” – and that I should just be vigilant for HOW it nourished me, exactly how it tasted – (chewing thirty times each bite) – and suddenly, after 3 bites – now there are shivers up my back – I WAS FULL.

And it wasn’t the honey that made me full: it was eating with the insight that my true sweetness underneath the eating was available all the time  – I was full.

I felt awesome to go to the trashcan and allow the half eaten bread with honey go.

The whole thing has to do with allowing LOVE –  I have never been good at that ( meaning I suck at it.) But opening up to this all-loving mother in me and receiving Her is a great way for me to practice receiving love. And God knows I need practice – in other words, allowing myself to receive love

*

Of course I have to do a little marketing here: you might click on “When Fear Comes Home to Love”  in the right menu,and check it out on the Amazon-page.Lots of good stuff there – and Blue, my inner guide, has put magic in it so whenever you have a question you need a spiritual answer to, open the book at random and just put your pinky in there.You may find it works for you too.

 

 

The Victim Story that Crumbled

I have been through a very taxing period, old toxic energies coming up to be released.

I started with me needing information from the chairman of the board in our housing community: expenses for each house in  cable and web  – I can deduct this from taxes.

1) Chairman takes 8 days to answer. Then she answers with a text, telling me that I am the only one who has asked for this- hinting that I am silly.

2)In those 8 days I bring up a zillion stories about being overpowered, disrespected, not worthy etc. I send texts, she tells me she will answer me, and doesn’t.

3)I send her a mail where I am very straight and adult and state that we have a right to  know these expenses. No answer.

4)After one more week I meet her outside my house, and she is running by, telling me that she is on her way to work out and will send me a text when she returns.

5) 4 hours later I have worked myself into  a state of rage and confusion and powerlessness, telling myself that I have to be firm and tell her to get the finger out – but telling myself that if I do so, we will have a terrible relationship for as long as we live here. I text her and ask for the text she promises – she answers, “I have just returned from my work-out…”

I am now convinced that she is having a power struggle with me – the energy of my creation is toxic and explosive.

6)I KNOW this is FOR me and not against me, and I pray and pray to be shown the beliefs that are driving of all this. I get lots of answers, forgets most of them, since the energy is  tremendously convincing: she is playing with me, as the cat with the mouse, just before she kills me.

What turned me around and allowed me a new perception was something David Youngblood told me in a session last year:

“Leelah’s physical body is safe to experiencing feeling anything she has been afraid of looking at in her mind. We could re-experiencing it – and believe we were being punished – OR, we could experience it as we knew it was going out the door and this was the way it would leave.  – The last moves through you and is complete – the other way punishes you because you think you have to continue living with it. —The whole point of allowing for the energies to enter back into the body is so you will know – once and for all –  that you can experience them and that you will be Okay – you are safe to experience them. Because the resistance to experience them is the only thing that makes them continue to come back.”

Ahhh! Great release – I was just giving power to this old victim-story, and fueling it with energy, and guess if I fueled the dark energies in it too – the ones  that attach to “ you are not worthy of respect.”

I asked myself, what is the root of this for me – what is she mirroring back to me that I haven’t forgiven?

I found it pretty soon – when my daughter acted out when she was small, in a way that I never could in my childhood, there was a moment where I knew that If I allow her to play this out, I will disintegrate, fall apart, looneybin next. I SAW how fragile my borders were here, and I chose to scare her, really frowning and calling out loud –

And she responded immediately, turning herself off. Switch! Obedient crying child.

So I went through a forgiveness-process from “Way of the Heart” – finding the” me” that had to split off/dissociate/ in order to feel a vital sense of “self.”

I saw that both my parents had the same pattern – and most probably, our ancestors

I forgave us all, me included, for the choice of exploring/playing out these identities as soul, experiencing fully the consequence of believing we could be separated from our Source/LOVE.

As I sensed the alignment to my Self, I felt an urge to bless my neighbor for playing out this  pattern with me, and I asked to seen her innocence – which shone brightly at me.

This morning, I found an answer to my first mail, with full information of what I needed for my tax report. Her energy and wording were quite different from her earlier mail and texts – and the energy was quite clean and straight.

A beautiful example of what Jeshua teaches us – how we project our stories on our “enemies” or “relatives/others” – and  as I reclaimed my energy and forgave myself , she was released from my projection.

Structure

I had a very instructive dream last  night.

I was visiting my old school – The Art and Crafts Academy – and visited it for the umpteenth time in a dream. All the classrooms looked chaotic, dirty, like all the teachers had disappeared, people were only  fooling around like irresponsible children – meaning that nobody had cleaned those floors for a LONG time, nobody had emptied the wastebaskets, cleaned the brushes… pieces of half-eaten old sandwiches were strewn out

I walked around in it all and told the students to pull themselves together – otherwise there would be rats!

Writing that last sentence, the door-bell co-cooed *- meaning: sit down and breathe, allow Love to come into “this.”

Big release – deep yawns

Remembering: At the ground floor in the dream-building, MY class was. I went there, and it was not rat-attractive – just chaotic in a nice spontaneous way.

When I awoke, I posed a wonder-question –  I wonder what this is about?

“You need to structure your time for creativity” it said. “You simply can’t doodle around waiting for inspiration – structure your day more clearly.”

It felt like a  space for a new life opened up. And quite some self-respect.

Still yawning

*

The door-bell co-cooing is what it does when there is nobody outside the door – just some wonderful soulful electronic waves inviting me to stop what I am doing and just allow myself to pay attention.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good bye to ghost stories

Thursday 2-3-17

Today I got my mother back.

It was a memory of music that did it – and most probably a session with Tapas Fleming, the creator of TAT: I was helped to let go of my old attachment to ghosts, as their helper and friend.

My mother has gone since 32 years. Her family and ancestors were also  close to that field of existence. She died from ALS, a really nasty disease. It’s a progressive neurological disease that causes dysfunction of the nerves that control muscle movement. Over time, this leads to muscle weakness, gradually affecting how the body functions, and then you die.

I grew up close to a graveyard – beautiful, peaceful, I saw it as MY garden and played there, mostly alone, except for the ghosts, that I perceived as my friends and wrote storied about. In the session with Tapas, my connection to “having to” be someone who could assist them to go home, was healed – and later I realized, that since the intention of TAT is to include all our ancestors, it certainly included my mother’s lineage. I am convinced that this procedure was essential for what happened the day after, when I had a sharing session with my friend Kit.

In this session, while I was speaking I SAW that both my parents had shown me the light, metaphorically – the place inside that is eternal, all loving, never-changing, radiantly truthful, brimming with life and presence. I shared it with my father in 3 areas:

Listening to music, only the two of us – mostly Mozart. We were joined at that Paradise place, and there were no words there, but perfect oneness. If my mother entered the room, that Paradise was always interrupted: my father went into preaching mode.

He could not share that with  both of us.

And – my mother could never share HER love of music with him, precisely because of this preaching tendency of his – but it happened when I came home from school that I overheard her playing the piano: Musette by Sibelius was her favorite. And mine. (NB: this guy plays it twice as fast as I loved to hear it – but still was the best I found on YouTube.)

And I sneaked up the stairs, and she heard me and stopped immediately, and I begged on my knees that she could play it once more – and some rare times, she consented – and we joined the Place of Light.

As I realized that both parents had shown me this Place, a torrent of tears broke and I sobbed with all my heart. Suddenly I SAW my mother as Spirit – healed and whole and innocent – and all the images of her as ice-cold and hard and rejecting fell away like old snow in April sun. I SAW her in front of me, as soul – on “the other side,” but in complete communication with me -just the same connection I shared when I joined with my mother’s ecstasy in music.

The torrent breaks through almost 70 years of denial – I have insisted of holding on to the image I held of her, the stories about her – and now it simply melted in front of this shared love, our union. The longing for her, the longing to join in LOVE broke through – I sob “my mamma, I long so much to join with you in THIS, and not all those stories from childhood!

There is no blame or anger at all in this longing – and for the first time, I see her Self, no projections now – just pure and whole.

I see her sitting in front of me, but still on the other side – she sits in profile, her head bowed, she is listening intensely with every cell to what I am telling her. At first she sits in shadow, but it lightens every second, and now I see her clearly. An inner earthquake shakes her violently, and still she is fully present within it, allowing these shakings to shake lose everything inside her role as woman and mother.MY mother in this particularly difficult lifetime, where she played the role of a mother who rejects her 4 year old daughter returning home after being group raped.  I sense her gratitude for this release, her joy that all that is false is shaken loose. No sense of guilt and sin, just shedding centuries of false beliefs and victim patterns lodged in cells and DNA.” I shake for both of us” she says, I know that is true. Now the shaking is concentrated in Root and Hara. She burps and belches, does not throw up, but throws her arms in the air and swears and smiles – no devil taking her to hell because she swears – we look right at each other and delight in this freedom.

My father, who played the role of a Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – person, and who showed contempt of the “concept” of a God, now was seen as playing a role – and I was shown places where he had demonstrated Source consciousness.

In addition to the heavenly music-joining, let me share the chanterelle-paradise

All the times he took me deep into woods, long hikes away from the trail, being guided by his phenomenal knowing where the chanterelle-places were. I remember the energy of him sitting silently down and brushing his hand over moss, like a wizard – creating a large patch of shining yellow chanterelles – and then intensely enjoying my delight at this treasure.

Recapitulating these times today made me see that he had guided me to the Light Itself – and that he therefore HAD the light available to him. The atmosphere in these places brim with light and love for me – and deep joining.

Also when we rowed out to the   open sea and fished – when the vast cloudless skies reflected in the mirror as dead calm sea, and  same oneness embraced us in timeless silent space.

When I understood that they HAD shown me Home, both of them – I knew without a morsel of doubt that we all had played in a drama we had chosen to explore as souls – and our roles were perfect. Now I could SEE the Truth of them both, and the joy of recognition was indescribable.

The day after, my daughter the musician visited and played the Musette for me. And my mother was present, glowing with joy.

All traces of ‘ghost’ about her – vanished

*

8/3 More release

Today  with  Heather ,I found that my Mount of Venus really was the shield of a big mother Turtle –  and that her shield stopped the insanity in my father’s energy during the sex to come into the womb. And so, my daughter did not have to swim in that womb energy for 9 months.  And has not been subjected to this energy, as i was.

Seeing that – and honoring that defense-mechanism (= turtle shield-) started an avalanche of releases. I saw how all my defense-places in this body had created their patterns out of the need to keep all parts of me safe – and now, the time has come to be brave enough and ready – to release them all.

At the end of the session I was sitting with a profound cold in the lower body – and heard Blue – my voice for Christ – remind me: “It’s not about becoming warm – to have “succeeded” in this – it is about just noticing exactly where you are RIGHT NOW, and honoring this – trusting the process.”

 

people pleasing – and being genuine

FALLING

On my photo trip today…new snow, quite gray and quiet – I was listening to Jennifer McLean instructing us in a Spontaneous Transformation process, where we would spot an emotion and finding it inside the body. I spoke out loud: Its in the middle of my chest, and my feet disappeared up in the air and BANG.

At the same time, I sensed the anger of “that” in the chest – it did NOT want to be found, or “messed with” as it called it. I immediately felt a wave of tenderness and told it I was HERE for it, and i saw how territorial it was, how super strong it had had to protect this area/trauma.

There came a huge crying from that part – a release of having been found and NOT being in trouble for that.

And then it simply fell asleep – relaxing for the first time in aeons maybe.

Then I took a photo, where all the photo gods assisted:

imgp0465At home, the aspect woke up and we went through the process

I am so very grateful for this Spontaneous Transformation Training I have taken. SO simple, so effective.

Previous Older Entries

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

%d bloggers like this: