GLORIA

3 miracles!

Yesterday morning: working the usual way with dark energies – suddenly seeing the little girl surrounded by Lightbeings, and  feeling / seeing the light and energy all through her and me. This is being healed now– there is nothing I need to do.

This night: the same deep agony as always – and the deep insight, not to be doubted at all: YOU don’t need to go through this any longer.

It is the I / ME who is removed now. No ME healing stuff – just healing happening through me, me letting it happen. The dark went right through without any trace left.

Third time: even clearer now: I, Leelah, don’t need to do this any longer. Complete relaxation, just allowing it to go through, not being affected at all

 

Bursting into JOY

I had the most astonishing breakthrough into joy this early morning – being strongly prompted to get up and listening to Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, 4th movement. I found an old recording with Simon Carrington as conductor – and the opening “Freunde, nich diese TÖne” felt like a shower from a spring waterfall.

I could not find any recordings with Carrington – but this one with Simon Rattle is accepted too 🙂

I sang this 50 years ago with Herbert Blomstedt as conductor – and not before now, truly SEE those words for what they express.

Oh friends, not these sounds!
Let us instead strike up more pleasing
and more joyful ones!

Joy!
Joy!

Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,
Daughter from Elysium,
We enter, burning with fervour,
heavenly being, your sanctuary!
Your magic brings together
what custom has sternly divided.
All men shall become brothers,
wherever your gentle wings hover.

Whoever has been lucky enough
to become a friend to a friend,
Whoever has found a beloved wife,
let him join our songs of praise!
Yes, and anyone who can call one soul
his own on this earth!
Any who cannot, let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!

Every creature drinks in joy
at nature’s breast;
Good and Evil alike
follow her trail of roses.
She gives us kisses and wine,
a true friend, even in death;
Even the worm was given desire,
and the cherub stands before God.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle
through the glorious universe,
So you, brothers, should run your course,
joyfully, like a conquering hero.

Be embraced, you millions!
This kiss is for the whole world!
Brothers, above the canopy of stars
must dwell a loving father.

Do you bow down before Him, you millions?
Do you sense your Creator, O world?
Seek Him above the canopy of stars!
He must dwell beyond the stars.

The place that opened me this morning ( and the start of the singing) comes at 26:34

 

Tree of Life

In the night, the same usual intense wrong-minded thought patterns engulfed me- and then, a radiant shift: full allowance of it – there it is and I can just embrace it. I am blessing it, walking around with it.

And now JOY IS HERE as a constant

In the nineties I started to study Kabbalah with two phenomenal teachers, Andreas  and Peter. In 2000 they started The Rite – a 3 year school in Kabbala, walking all the paths between the Sefirot up the trunk of Tree of  Life . I believe we had 32 initiations

For some reason I pick up my Initiation Journal from the three year Rite from the bookshelf. It opened on the next to last Rite: Beth –  and  the path between Binah and Kether.

Beth may stand for House – House of God – The Universal Home  – The Infinite Womb of Fertility.

The Rite showed to two polarities where  the relentless and merciless melts into Unio Mystica – Kether.

Just as it happened some time ago this morning

Now I wonder if I may have walked the path up the Tree through  my nine years of blogging too

I will enjoy looking through the journal again

I entered into the living room.The doorbell clang again: this time, to my ears, much softer. Slower. Like the most motherly embrace: welcome Home

 

Breaking the tooth/pattern

About a week ago I felt bad and wanted to give myself a treat – my own recipe of nut/seed/dates/cocoa-mix. They need to be frozen to keep, so I bit into one and broke my front teeth with a loud crack.

I found out that that tooth is connected to the stomach – and the stomach reacted with huge pains and fever. Something inside insisted that I had an opportunity to relate to this with something more energy medicine – like surrendering, like accepting that this was a gift. One whole night I communed with Holy Spirit, Who came through as never before: crystal clear channeling. I asked for help from the Comforter – His/her other name 🙂 very specifically: come into my lungs and the wound, fill it with Light. I felt it as a physically hot wave of light and healing, it lasted for hours.

I got an appointment with my dentist since 50 years – I love that guy! and he told me we need to get the tooth out and create a bridge. I was there this morning, and all went well  – except a tiny thread of root not coming out.

Asking the Holy Spirit about this – and hearing that what I need to focus on, is JOY. When fear of pain or anxieties of what could happen, appears – choose in that very moment to feel joy instead. And that little root remnant is there for you to occupy you mind to choose JOY EACH TIME you think about that root.

This was clearly not a mental exercize – I was meant to SIT there and do nothing else.

After the operation I went to the Mall nearby. Right outside of Finn’s office, a big car had parked: x cleaning. PURE JOY.

In the mall, a poster of a small boy , smiling to me: he had lost the same tooth in the upper mouth 🙂

A third poster in the Mall praised the JOY of Autumn.

I called my daughter and shared, a little later this joy of autumn flowers arrived.

I felt warm joy – and very fast I thought about doing my favorite  Friday crossword puzzle. One minute – and my doorbell sounded  – no one physical was there. Aha – could I maybe use  some time on joy?

Well, at least a minute…hm, more crosswording – and the doorbell rang for the second time.

No more dawdling

Sitting down, resting in Peace, resting in JOY

Holt Spirit, THANK YOU

 

 

Implants

For info on what ” psychic implants” may be, please google it and choose the explanation that resonates with you.

I have been through a tough process since I and  my friend Ellen shared Access Bars with each other last Thursday. In that process, implants were removed – some of them from my late father, having to do with giving up my own will and adjusting to his – resulting in not having a voice for my self.

The whole Friday was packed with old patterns and false identification with them – old judgments and condemnations about myself – it felt like the whole “ego-world” had filled me up to the brim. I used the Clearing Statement a lot, but did not sense release – except for the moments when I managed to say yes to  the overwhelm as it was.

But last night – Friday to Saturday – was very different. I felt so very much better, and realized that that whole field/gestalt of energy overwhelm yesterday was just THAT which I needed to realize had come to be blessed, embraced and forgiven. It HAS to come up and be seen – so I can choose again: this time I chose NOT to judge it, just to let it go, “uncreate” it as Jeshua says in Way of Mastery.

I had a lot of paranoid thoughts yesterday – and lots of hateful self-thoughts. Today I can only smile at them and shake my head – “Is it possible that I can have believed that!”

Fun little detail: yesterday my right big toe leaned hard into its neighbor. Today, there is 6 mm free space between them 🙂

And an important reminder in a dream:

A lively and very inquisitive little dog jumped down on the rails on a Train station, found a tube there and immediately tried to force his body into the whole. I jumped down together with a man and we got his tail and dragged him out before the train came.

Leelah – remember this: when an impulse comes to investigate and explore something, ask yourself first: Is this REALLY what you want? Is it safe? will it lead to joy? and I know that I will feel a “go ahead” or a “no”.