The Inner Child

“I HAVE TO manage this, survive this, overcome this –“

This is the litany of the small inner child – a child who thinks she is without a helping loving God, for sure. She is ugly and bad and guilty, and she MUST be – since all these bad things happen to her –

And it’s all in her beautiful mind – deeply believed in

These days, my TV refuses to let me play with setting it up and choosing stuff from the menu. It freezes. Just like the little girl’s mind froze up under the yearlong attacks, that she so cleverly managed to push down to the dark basement. The first line in this post – if you say it out loud yourself, what do you feel in the body? I feel blocked out from everything that is GOOD and holy, and this “I” feels that she deserves punishment, and that she pays off her guilt to her Father. Her carnal father behaves like a devil sometimes – a Mr.Hyde – and she always justifies it within, in order to adapt to the situation and not be destroyed.

My TV mirrors this to me now– it freezes and won’t let me choose the programs that make me happy – and it won’t let me find a way to TEXT, so I can follow the great series about the Swedish Nobel Price Winner Selma Lagerløf  that I have saved. I need the undertexts – since I don’t hear very well.

The under-texts would symbolize “watching WITH God/Love” – a watching that makes her understand the foreign language. And a teaching from A Course in Miracles.

Her bad hearing is certainly such a symbolization too.

My Holy Self is showing this to me – so I can truly SEE and experience the consequences of the child’s beliefs: a deep belief that she IS a victim that God hates and wants to punish.

And in my life, where everything “outside” mirrors my mind – what an excellent symbol the TV is

Sitting with these thoughts and their energy is the solution. The energy is the inner child.

May this be of help to those who needs it

And may that little child get a space in our heart so she can grow up safely. The belief she repeats incessantly and subconsciously is

“I HAVE TO manage this, survive this, overcome this –“

From Unsplash

And it’s all in her beautiful mind – deeply believed in

Writing it down again – and again – allowing it to be in the open –

allowing myself to feel stupid

allowing

not judging

BELIEFS

I have had my life’s greatest epiphany – the insight of how a belief has created all my lives of torture and abuse and VICTIMHOOD.

In my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” I describe my work of deciphering the main basis for the ego-thought system of fear. I found 10 archetypes that are present and very active in the mind of the Son of God = us all – they control and permeate our mind. They can do this BECAUSE of what we believe in – the possibility of a god that is fearful and punishing – and the belief that we deserve this.

And that it is mandatory.

30 years ago or more, I met a healer called Amorah Quan Yin , and had a telephone session with her. She showed me an earlier incarnation where I was a young apprentice of shamanism – just like Mickey Mouse in the Apprentice of a Sorcerer. Mickey wants POWER and fools with it – and his error is magnified and turned into thousand of waterbuckets that flood the premises. The errors I made in that incarnation, called on a powerful shaman who controlled me for evil purposes – and the hurt and pain I was forced to subject others to, were of such magnitude that I chose to kill myself.

That old memory in my mind – and in the One mind – has lingered, and because I repressed it and judged it I made it real.I think almost all my incarnations have wallowed in blood – and because of the humongous guilt I have chosen to be the victim again and again –

And it is all so silly!

ACIM states that everything we do, we do to our SELF – ourselves.

I have wanted to be RIGHT that I am a victim – and in this life I have truly done that – the abuse and the split in personalities I lived with – that I have named « The Jekyll and Hyde»- system – have «proven» itself to me to have dire consequences in the mind.

But only as long as I hide the choice: the choice to see myself as evil, needing to be punished ( the main belief in the human mind).

This all became clear to me this morning – the first corona-free National Day in Norway – where children again, after two years of restrictions, will be allowed to do parades and sing and wave flags.

CELEBRATION!

The Truth is that I never really left Heaven and God – but I can make a humongous illusion that I did – and so step into incarnations where I truly seem to be separated – in wars and massacres.

And seen from «this place» – inside a body with other bodies – the beliefs of separation are very convincing – and I have to live after the rules down here.

Putin is an excellent image of this for me: I AM RIGHT and YOU ARE EVIL and I will obliterate you.

So the last 30 years or so I have believed that I would be met with demons when I leave the body/die – and I have tried with all my might to find ways to fix this. It led me to all kind of therapies and thank God, A Course in Miracles – and led me to see that I as Soul has chosen it all – to at last return to the Love that I am.

I just need to allow the Holy Spirit to undo the consequences of my wrong minded decisions

I now enjoy the images of what I DO desire when I leave the body – Jeshua smiling, arms outstretched, Mozart and Bach and Schubert are there for sure -Master Hilaryon –oh, did I manage to forget Beethoven?! and I think also, my «created» characters in my novel Hilaryon Stories.

And this tree – which I have baptized my Tree of Life  – tells me THIS is Who We are.

All of us.

No  exceptions

Embracing

So important in this dis-identification process: – separating the observer and witness from the me-of-many-stories. All the voices/parts of Leelah – they are not Who I am I am the awareness of it. I am the One who relates to it all, with judgment and hate or acceptance and love. I cannot forgive what I haven’t first accepted and allowed.

An important step for me has been to be really curious about everything that shows up – and then singling it out, by becoming aware of the size of the field of contraction in the body – noticing the hurts and aches, maybe color-tone, the felt sense of it, maybe voices that come with it. After much practicing, there now is a distinct YES-feeling when I have “got it” – and then I can use the forgiveness process from  the Way of Transformation.

I notice that once – from a place of fear and chock – I chose to repress this – for a good reason! And now I can choose to receive it and love it.

When after much practicing I am able to embrace it, the healing is now in the hands of Holy Spirit – or my Higher Self. My part is just willingness to feel what comes up, to welcome it -to recognize that it is all a consequence of my choice at the moment of trauma-onset: I chose to think things about me and the others that sprang from fear-perceptions. And I chose freely what it meant about me – always that there was something wrong with me, so in some weird way I deserved it.

I have had years of drilling by masters from Mystery traditions. My lieblings would be Emmanuel and  Bartholomew ( they are both funny and tender ( Emmanuel even speak in poems!)

But Jeshua has followed me and helped me the most this life – you may read about that process in When Fear Comes Home to Love.

So back to this night – it was all held in the Solar Plexus for all my life, I believe. Now there was an intense and sudden pain there- and as I embraced it and it unraveled, I saw the impossibility for that pain to make itself truly know before this night -so much had to happen first. It was all about not being able to survive the very living-situation I was in – that family, those beliefs, those secrets, that intense Jekyll and Hyde – creation.

The very essence of the-all-of-it – the impossibility to even KNOW about it was there, in the diamond hard ball.

The release was beautiful beyond description – and I will give it space to happen incrementally.

This is how it feels:

I have borrowed this from Love Is A Place- bloghttp://peacefullpresence.blogspot.com/2021/10/all-my-relations.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FUeqpM+%28Love+Is+A+Place%29

Candida as Judge and Jailor

And then it is so – that when we vow to something good, all that is between us and that, will come up to be discovered and forgiven.

Lately, eating and digestion has become almost impossible- instant raging Candida-response. I asked my guides for a dream to clarify, and it came:

I was in a dentist’s office to make an appointment. (Teeth are for me symbols of beliefs.) There was a nurse there, and three other people who wanted appointments too. Gradually the atmosphere changed into viciousness – I got a stern message to wait- and I waited and waited.

The dream then expanded in a Kafkaesque manner – I had acted wrongly and had no idea what I had done – and they all insisted that I knew perfectly well what I had done and continued to shame me. I now was completely at their mercy. I had done something wrong and could not for my bare life see what my sin was.

I woke up and remembered that this has been a pattern for me in many workshops – the first day the leaders were sweet – and the next, their manner changed into a kind of contempt and “you know perfectly well what you do.” It freaked me out and nobody ever told me what I “did.”

When I woke up, I understood that this is a dream which presents an energy I still have not forgiven. A gift indeed! I ask, “where have I subjected myself to this kind of contempt before?” There are strong pains and tensions around my lower abdomen and vagina – and I remember my father and other men’s energy during abuse – their contempt oozing at the women they abused.

I asked myself, “where have I abused myself with self-contempt?” oh yes – I have for years and years automatically and unconsciously heaped abuse on my sexual organs – since they obviously deserved punishment like this,frequently, and from many. For of course they had to have a reason for their attacks – and I must be deserving it in some way.

So here the self hatred started – my own attack at my sacred feminine parts.

Now I believe that the Candida came as a stern reminder – you do NOT deserve comfort in the shape of desserts and sweets – since your very identity is something horrible and weird and wrong.

This is the gift of the dream – to truly SEE the impact my own old hatred has had on my organs. And on my very sacred Feminine Divinity. I CHOSE it – and I will forgive the choice and choose again

So – everything I “take in” – digest – is influenced, imprinted with hatred – and the premise that hating is just and GOOD, even – “this is a way this human atones for her sins –”

Sigh

What a blessing to SEE this mechanism – on a yet deeper level than before. I am sweating writing it down.

I will now ask the Divine to enter my breath – and I will sit and HOLD IT ALL while breathing Love into it and through it, and the rest is up to the Holy.

*******

Next day I invited the Divine to eat with me each bite I took. I breathed for each bite, I visualized the organs and the candida-place relaxed and forgiven, I talked to the organs , full package :). The Candida eased down quite a bit. Then I had a fear response that originated in the area around the vagina again – and “saw” a little scared girl who was afraid of a male figure. I had the day before read an exercize that Jeshua suggests in Way of Transformation – a way of visualizing the feared figure and placing Light around them in a certain manner. I found myself adapt the exercize to a little girl’s world, in a cartoon-like manner, and it worked wonderfully – I knew I was working with an archetype ( Child) and not “me.”) The moment I KNEW that, a former clinging to the “me”-identity dropped off, and I understood the vast treasure of working with archetypes the way I have done this life. No more regret and shoulds! 🙂

All you need is Love

The Central Lie – and the Troll Chair

The Central lie in the thought system of separation is that we are victims of fate – and that God wants to punish us for our sins.

The shining Truth in all Mystery teachings is that what you are looking for, is What is looking – the Kingdom is within. What I believe in becomes true for me – and I, as most humans,have chosen to believe in fear and limitation – and that I am powerless and need to behave and be good, or else.

I have realized that what I believe in, becomes true for me – and my personal litany has been ” nothing helps, there must be something wrong with me.” So when I have started to feel good and worthy and loved by God, this unexamined belief has catapulted me back into agony. For 40 years. Until I discovered this night that it only has the power I – and most of humanity – have given it.

My Buddhist therapist once said that lies need us to believe in them – that is the only thing that keeps them alive.

And when it is a collective lie, they become invisible.

And what becomes invisible, controls me. And what I cannot accept and forgive within myself, comes to me from the Universe as attack and illness and trouble – because I believe I am a victim of it. And I have learned that when I change my beliefs, my universe changes too.

I felt this night the power of the belief “nothing helps. It will never change.” And I saw that I had given it all the power it has over me. I was trying to remember a declaration I made a week ago – I declare my trust and faith in the infinite power of divine light and love – and my mind and brain just froze up. I heard the sentence ” This is MUCH more powerful than me “- and realized that it was my BELIEF in this thought that made it powerful. When I declared that I choose LOVE instead of this belief, I immediately remembered my declaration.

I am acutely aware that this is a collective belief – that it may take some time to exchange it for Love – but love I will.

***

Now – today I am showing you my Troll chair. It does indeed come from that common belief that denies Love. And that’s why it felt so freeing to make it visible.

Trolls are beings without heart – and they are not the smartest, even if though they may have two heads. When I got the idea to explore darkness as a chair, there were certain images that came – ice, sharp glass, thorns, black asphalt, splintered mirrors.

Back of chair

At first, it was naked, no green nature veils.Twice I somehow got too close to the mirror chards and my skull was cut badly. Lots of blood -“respect your work!”

Then some day I started to SEE green leaves sprouting from the legs

some of the thorns and leaves

Now the trust came – my job is to make visible the process of “darkness waking up and casting away its slough.

A huge release happened, and my heart opened wide for that dark part in us all that has lost all hope for light. My chair, though, has dared to allow Nature to melt into it – and the biggest change energetically came when I found the raw wool,stretched it thin and  adorned the chair with it.

I was doing this outside, on my terrace, and I still remember the hush in the air when The Holy entered the Chair.

The New Green

This was when I knew that some of the Queen bees had work to do on this chair. And that FUR had to be added

and OH the pleasure of adding the PEARL

There are now four Queens working and playing with it – three in the chair top and one crawling up one leg.

*****

INVITATION:
I would love to  hear from my dear readers: what beliefs have been most instrumental in keeping you small and limited? I know that for each of these beliefs that are let out in the free – openly showed here,  the Universe will join us in allowing them to be released

Worth

This  lesson* has repeated itself faithfully the last 5 of more years. The basics is: I have bought something I love – whatever – and the gift to myself is delivered to a pick-up address in a post office far away from me. It would take me at least three hours to get there with buses. And so I have to contact the post office – and the last variety of this, happened last week, was that all the posts with order number and pickup number simply disappeared from my mailbox. I chatted with The Post delivery, and even when that astonishing man succeeded in finding my packet without the number . what a miracle! – in the end he made some promises to send me certain mails – and they never turned up.

I chatted with a new chat person – did I mention that I am stubborn – and she miraculously found that other chat person – she made promises too re mails – nothing turned up in my mail.

SO AT LAST I was willing to acknowledge that I was not a victim of this repeated process – it was a metaphor f my belief:  I am not worthy to receive the gifts of the Universe

Bu I truly am as God created me – that cannot change at all. I have believed myself to be an unworthy guilty being, separated from God’s Love.

I truly see the IMMENSE suffering that belief has created – for me and everybody.

I am willing to be wrong about it

I am willing to let it go

I am willing to have my perception made from fear be transformed

All I need is my willingness to accept that this is true

Fully and completely

*A Course in Miracles teaches that all our seemingly troubles and trials are nothing but lessons the Universe delivers – to help us find our hidden beliefs of ego, forgive them and replace them with truth And the Universe will mirror the Truth back to us. As Above, so Below. What I don’t accept inside myself, the Universe will mirror back to me – so the lessons are very clear, once I discover them 🙂

Miracle

The last day the fear returned with a vengeance. I prayed deeply to be free of the sticky attachment to all of it – and suddenly, it was gone.

The fear energy still is here – but it now feels like a dummy- love bursts through. It does not matter anymore. From this state of mind there is only rest.

My young friend Leni Dubel just wrote on Facebook that illnesses are beings – messengers – they come to heal. Many cancer patients know this deeply after a while – by going through it, there are shining insights. My strongest experience as a breast cancer patient 15 years ago was that I learned that my choice is everything:

I was under the radiation machine, it was the 12^th day and the nipple was badly bruised – it seemed that it was rotting and drying up. I heard myself exclaim: Archangel Michael, I want your rays to go through this machine instead of the x-rays.

In that very moment, there was a great Light and I knew without doubt that my prayer had been fulfilled.

From that moment, the effects of the machine-radiation reversed, and the breast returned to it original healed state of being. I also knew that there were no more signs of cancer.

What if I got that cancer to get to that moment – KNOWING that Spirit heals all if I CHOOSE it?

It seems to me that Cancer made it possible for me to get to that moment where I took that chance to ask for help from Spirit, being willing to suspend any beliefs that the body’s illnesses and pain were more powerful that Spirit. It was a huge leap of faith for me, and it was instantly answered.

The strangest and most wonderful surprise for me is that I still feel that fear-energy strongly – but it really has nothing to do with me. I can  hold it, or just let it be, and I c an bless anybody in this fear and agony in their ability to choose love instead.

This is said with the utmost tenderness for all who says ” but I DO choose Love, and nothing happens.”

This was my experience for many years – and it brought me to explore all those parts of me who were selfhating and bitter and filled with vengeance. Carrie Triffet showed me in her last book “The Frickin Map is Upside Down” how important it is to LOVE them just as they are – no fixing – loving them WITH their hatred, with deep patience and compassion – loving them as they are. And as A Course in Miracles says – ” we cannot heal what we still have not accepted and loved.”

I don’t love the hatred. I love the part who hates.

*******

In the right menu you will find my three books. In these days, my book ” Healing Crisis – 108 ways to turn crises into possibilities” can give you creative playful means to deal with the fear and transform your regulations to it. Like this one:

54) YOUR ANCHOR

What served as an anchor for you when you were a child? What did you ”come home to” – inside yourself or outside? Maybe a favorite day-dream – do you remember the theme? Pets? Music? Nature? Reading? Walking? Making art?  Knitting? Wood-work?

Contemplating this anchor –why was it an anchor?  WHAT is it that was – and is – such a nourishment and comfort for you?

How could you use this anchor now, during the crisis?

(Source of inspiration:

Serge Kahili King, PH.D. http://www.huna.net/

and this:

108 GROUNDING / OVERWHELM[1]

Walk around in the room: point at objects and name them out loud. Do it until you start feeling that you are inside yourself. Then do a variation: point at a thing and name it something else: point at pillow and name it cheese, point at a TV and name it flower, point at the table and name it circus…the dog comes in, and you name her sunshine. Do this for at least ten minutes, and then sit down and see if you can remember some of the new names you invented.

The exercise has a wonderful ability to ground us, shove us out of rigid control-modes and let us laugh – and then, additionally, allow the subconscious to show us what it plays with. Right now.

When we are in a crisis, we are also stuck in a rigidly controlled space. When we are stuck inside it, everything we do or think is perceived through a veil of mistaken identity: I AM that which suffers. To break through this false identity gives you a new footing: suddenly you can see yourself AND the crisis – but you are no longer caught in it. Exercises like this one push you out in free air: yes, there is a crisis in your life right now – but there is also play and creativity.

And you might also enjoy re-naming your crisis, too – ! Instead of” crisis,” you might try out “popcorn.”

“I am in a deep popcorn right now.”

Did you giggle just a little?

 

[1]  Source of inspiration for this exercise: Keith Johnstone: Improvisation and the Theatre
©1979, Methuen Publishing, London

http://www.keithjohnstone.com/main.aspx?id=73

 

 

 

Synchronicities

Inner prompts have lately asked me to investigate more about Morphogenetic Fields.

This morning, after the I AM ONE SELF-night, my breakfast yogurt looked like this:

I have never seen this before in my yogurt.

So I went to the PC and googled Morphogenetic Fields – knowing it had to do with fields of energy, patterns etc – and came to the article and image :

Looking forward to this – since I am lately working intensely with the archetypal patterns described in  my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – archetypes are surely kind of superstrong habitual patterns of thinking and energies.

I AM ONE SELF

The last 6 months or so I have worked with a brilliant copyeditor  for my novel. “Hilaryon Stories – the Botany of Loss and Longing and White Hares.” During that process, the old pattern of confusion and distractions have played with both of us – the most silly and unthinkable digital pranks have shown up; there has been a lot for me to catch hold of and tend to inside.

I have prayed constantly to see all this differently – to see each other  as innocent and not stupid and wrong.

When my cover formatter joined us, there were impossible errors showing up in the text on the back cover – and pointing out these errors to him and calling him to  correct them called up tremendous fear. I sensed the Fuckeat archetype rising– and telling me if I did this to B, he would come after me and kill me.

It felt so very convincing – this is what lies under the common belief “ I am stupid. There must be something wrong with me.”

Until I remembered the energetic law – what I focus on, I empower.

So after a month with this constant fear and new errors each day, I decided to deal with fear differently. I found one of my small notebooks and opened it. It said ( bolding is mine: )

Lesson 95 I AM ONE SELF

11. Begin the practice periods today with this assurance, offered to your mind with all the certainty that you can give:

I am one Self, united with my Creator, at one with every aspect of creation, and limitless in power and in peace.

Then close your eyes and tell yourself again, slowly and thoughtfully, attempting to allow the meaning of the words to sink into your mind, replacing false ideas:

I am one Self.

Repeat this several times, and then attempt to feel the meaning that the words convey.

12. You are one Self, united and secure in light and joy and peace. You are God’s Son, one Self, with one Creator and one goal; to bring awareness of this oneness to all minds, that true creation may extend the allness and the unity of God. You are one Self, complete and healed and whole, with power to lift the veil of darkness from the world, and let the light in you come through to teach the world the truth about yourself.
13. You are one Self, in perfect harmony with all there is, and all that there will be. You are one Self, the holy Son of God, united with your brothers in that Self; united with your Father in His Will. Feel this one Self in you, and let It shine away all your illusions and your doubts. This is your Self, the Son of God Himself, sinless as Its Creator, with His strength within you and His Love forever yours. You are one Self, and it is given you to feel this Self within you, and to cast all your illusions out of the one Mind that is this Self, the holy truth in you.

I have felt this Self each time I have sat down with it – so I have used the fear and distraction-occurrence to choose to rest in THIS instead.

When at last the cover was clear, I broke the trance of fear and chose to mail the formatter, addressing the underlying rage and revenge-energy, owning my part of it and telling him I wanted to see some of his beauty-images, not only the dark ones. He answered with love and humour and 3 images radiating truth.

After this, my sleep was filled with light and humorous dreams. I dreamed I had borrowed a heap of clothes from a store, I needed none of them – and a friend  told me she had returned them FOR me. What a sign – to give up the idea that I have to “do it all myself.”

And each time I have felt negative sensations this night I have said “I AM ONE SELF” and have felt how Its energy suffuses and melts the low frequency.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trapped in a Box of Stone

I am taking a 7 week course called Feminine Power. We have all made a commitment sharing on the Facebook-group-site from our power: “I commit to make every effort to show up in the group in ways that are aligned with this story of myself as a powerful creator, while at the same time making room for my own vulnerability and imperfections.”

My first longer post was moderated – and they let me know that it had to be MUCH more written from power.

It took me 14 days to find their post to me at Messenger – and their answers have been later than they promised – so this all has contributed to bringing me into an age old state of mind. I chose to look at it as The Universe’s way of arranging all for the best for me. Which I truly believe is true – looking at it with Christ’s vision.

I found that part inside that was in agony at being “ignored”,  outcast, black sheep, left out, feeling hopeless, powerless and angry at God and then herself, for surely she was  at fault for something.

When I found her in the body – this deeply separated identity – I saw her inside a stone-room- like the one Hildegard von Bingen sat in for years, by her own choice – to find God completely. What an exquisite metaphor for the ego thought system:  first we play with the thought “ what if we were on our own and created outside God/Love –” and then, in the shock of being in the utter darkness of lovelessness, guilt, shame and fear is born. Now there seems to be a small I who has to go through eons of years of struggle and suffering to reach the original Knowing  of Who we are. –while the truth is always only a choice away: I choose LOVE now.

I ask her two questions only: “What do you feel” and “what do you need” – and say back  “ I see/hear that you…” I want this old part not to have”comfort” – I want her to KNOW that I hear her without the slightest twinge of judgment – since this is what has worked best for ME in  life and therapy.

At first, I felt with breath and allowance the tremendous agony of living in that stone box for ever as a prisoner, left there to die  (not as Hildegard.)  When this inner part of me at least felt free to express the indescribable anger, venom and hatred at God – “for not thinking she suffered “enough” to be saved – it was a formidable breakthrough, the body was filled with light and tender warmth. Then the next step – to realize that it was really herself she hated and judged – for having failed God’s commands.

Now – I have been raised a Christian – so anybody who has been exposed to those dogmas of a wrathful and vengeful God have these beliefs deeply rooted in our mind: God sets standards and we must be punished for our own good. I recognize how much that belief has craved evidence for itself in my life –  that’s what beliefs do! If I feel unworthy, it is because somebody has projected on me  their own feeling of unworthiness and inadequacy – “ I am WRONG all through.” And so we go through life living it FROM this belief, and  therefore have it mirrored back at us everywhere –  as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Any belief we hold does that – crave evidence for its reality. And we believe it is OUR reality – not just a false thought, believed in.

So my interest has been to find the common archetypes we all are driven by, and finding the “me” at the bottom of them needing to speak her truth and be heard and loved WITH those feelings.

At one point this night, I /she truly SAW how important it was for her to be RIGHT about her perception as being a victim and unjustly treated by God – since the opposite would have meant that the story she had told about herself and given tremendous meaning to, was really based on that God had dumped her and judged her and punished her atrociously in this life

All my suffering has come from IDENTIFYING with her / her story – calling it me and mine.

We are all formidable creators of our life – exactly the way it has turned out: something in our soul has chosen to explore exactly THIS horror you are going through – since you cannot love what you have not first embraced. And we cannot embrace as long as we judge. My childhood with group rape at age four – endless years with abuse and nobody willing to see and comfort – has led me step for step to embracing all of it.  I have truly seen that inside each horrible act from a predator, there is a terrified child believing in unworthiness and guilt – endless ancestral patterns brought forward to us and through us. Through this we are being trained well to find the places where we have – at least – WANTED to murder and torture another. Are you with me?  🙂  Forgiving ourselves for -at least –having rented space for those thoughts in our mind – forgiving ourselves for allowing them in –  allows for The Holy Spirit’s loving energy and thoughts to replace our old “tenants.

I dreamed that Stone Chamber up. – Now I can choose again – being truly forgiving of how much “me-power” there has been in this creation, and therefore how tenaciously parts of me hang on to it.

Finding them all, allowing them to come through in storytelling and playfulness is what I have been created  to help others to do – finding their own  creativity, playfulness and vast resources of healing.

What I love most is that its not possible to make anything “wrong.” When I meet wrong with play, healing and huge laughter happens