Today a little adorable craziness

Blue is Playing

Blue is my inner guide on my journey to remembering my Self. He truly enjoys playing  – giving me hilarious synchronicities, as Jung names them.

I have my alarm clock set to nine am, and yesterday I turned the alarm off. Still, this morning it alarmed! It is a type that sounds the alarm 50 times before it stops. I  picked it up and looked at it – and it was set to OFF. I said, “now listen.You are not supposed to  sound the alarm when I have turned you to off.”

It stopped in the middle of two repetitive signals. If it had had a face, it would have blushed.

Now, how many of you will believe this? I wonder. Maybe the ones who have followed me for 6 years.  So maybe ONE 🙂 The rest of you may laugh as loud as you want. But I tell you, I would not have lasted as long as I have without “synchronicities” as this as long I worked on When Fear Come Home to Love – ca 25 years, without Blue dishing out these weird and wonderful syncs I have called Blue is Playing. You may write it in the search field to find more.

Now, the reason he does this is – to me – who is a sucker for symbols and looking at the world as a reflection of my mind – the reason is, that I have now understood that “setting the alarm” points to me continuously playing out disaster-thinking: I have black belt in it. I find myself continuously imagining new (or old ones), painting them out in details and feeling them in my body. And lately, I have watched me like a hawk and swooped down on them really fast – within a second or two – AND I have also told my mind that I now choose to turn that  old defense off.

Like last night.

That’s why it blushed, you know. The alarm clock.

OK, one more:

I read in A Course in Miracles: “I have created all I see.” I look out the window: there are two boys passing the window, and one of them has exactly the same clothes as the costume I made to a very famous marionette my husband made: Titten Tei.

Here he is with Julie Andrews, visiting Norway – terrible quality, but still…he is talking to JULIE ANDREWS, people.

So…the Titten Tei’s voice and puppet-player  died some years ago, so now he hangs on my wall with his little violin.

Ah. You see how clever I have been I hope. Not to mention my passed husband who in fact crafted the doll and his marvelous spunky spirit, together with Birgit Strøm.

Nough about that – here is another Blue is Playing:

I walk to the Culture Hall and tell myself inside:” I love myself  as I am now.”

The girl in the cafe has a white T- shirt with black writing: ” I love myself just as I am now.”

I know. Not very likely.

OK the last one – a notch more plausible:

I sit in the bus and pray silently ( aren’t you happy I do it silently):

“Lord, let me see with Your eyes, Your ears… and so on. I don’t think he has a body, though – but symbolically, he might see and hear, i have decided.” I look up, a big van is passing it has a logo with big black letters: “Thirst for the best.”

You have to admit that was a nice one.

White horses in the night

Dream

Dark night in the snowy wood. No flashlight, but feeling confident. Not cold. Suddenly, there is a glowing bowl of fire under the snow. It rolls! It knows where it goes, it knows it purpose! A wind of freedom soars through the wood, and there are horses – all shining white in the darkness – , they run 3 feet OVER the snow, oh, their manes – alive  – they know their purpose too –

Then I am out of the wood, and it is seven to nine -still light, no snow here – is it day or night, i don’t know –

right behind me are soldiers, and they seem more like freedom fighters, not serving the government – they have blown up something, and the building beside me is the Police Department, or is it the Ministry of Defense 🙂 I see windows blown up, but the damage seems “civil” to me – done with consideration 🙂

The  white horses are surely in team with the disruptors

*

Last night I followed a teleclass with Zach Rehder –

this is a wonderful demonstration of how his work dismantles old defense patterns. Afterwards, I felt completely overwhelmed, and very close to panic. So I sat myself down and asked for help – breathed into the feelings/sensations, and heard: ” Fill your heart with Love for this scared little part of you.” As I did, it became so clear that I AM this Love and not the scared part. The scared part had come to life because of belief  in separation in my mind – and seen from this loving ME, it was a thought I forgave – it seemed silly.

I remembered my Identity in God, and I forgave my fear-creations and my identification with them all – look where it has brought me – to this sacred moment 🙂

The sensations in the body-mind, that before always have led to psychotic episodes or months of panic and anxiety, this time was seen as an unreal creation with no power except the one I had given it by believing in it

I went to bed, I rested in God

and then the dream happened

Now, the further work – to truly embrace the fear-energies when they come – and forgiving myself if I start to believe in their stories again

5 ways to kill your dreams

The monk and the fish

-just because I love it so much

I must have seen it hundred times- it still moves me so

Demonstrating the healing of old archetypes with new additions:)

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Image

Breath

Balloon

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Drunk Angel

Standing in the queue for the cashier at the food-market. I am wearing a long skyblue knitted coat, and a gray knitted woolen scarf with pompoms.

A man in his 40-50ies is behind me, buying a 6-pack of beers and nothing else. Most of his teeth are missing, the rest are brown and look like a disaster area. He stinks – to put it mildly.

“Oh that is such a bloody fantastic wonderful coat! and that scarf! I LOVE people who stand out – oh that coat is fucking bloody fantaaastic!”

“I am happy it pleases you. You like colors.”

“Oh it’s amaaaazzing – bloody aaawesome” and he starts to stroke his hand slowly down my arm, caressing the soft wool.

I have fallen into the old habitual trance of being nice and 2 year old and not saying anything – but there is something so sweet about his energy, kind, loving, that I find myself just firmly saying ” don’t do that” and remove his hand.

Pause. In a low sad voice: “I did not mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s just too close.”

“Then you just have to tell me that.”

“And I just did.”

“And that is OK” – smile

what is weird is that I know that these words do not come from an alcoholic – they come from kindness and complete soberness.

I know it is a classroom

People are not who we think they are

We then both noticed the very tired stressed young cashier and both started to praise her for her stamina, keeping her head clear in  this chaos, calling her a hero. She blossomed in front of us.

*

When I came home, I used the happening to allow my body to fully feel the feelings of shock and disgust and fear  – so long denied and repressed and rationalized – breathing through it and letting it go

Mind

Mind

I took the mind out of the PC and put it on the table. It quickly coiled up like a wreath cake, sensing it was up for scrutiny. I tagged at its bottom coil and said “ I know what you are up to. Twit.”

It threw a mean glance at me: “ I am just here to warn you of errors” it hissed, “I am doing my sour job to make you satisfied. “

“Oh pooh” I said, you are lying all the time,: “This page will not close” – “This document will not save” – how many times have I seen that, and then it unfailingly closes and saves! Truth is, you just love to be a scary-billy.”

The mind grumped and coiled the other way. “There’s no way pleasing you, Master” it sulked. “Isn’t it better though to warn a little overeagerly instead of the other possibility?”

“Don’t sweet-talk me” I said, “I simply cannot trust you and will dismiss you henceforth”

The mind gave off a foul stench, held its breath and pushed – and poof, suddenly there were hundreds of mind worms. Clever idea, but I knew better than to let appearances scare me: quick as lightening I programmed the offspring to sing. It now sang to me in an innocent voice “take a breather from the PC, take a lovely walk instead.” It tried to come up with a rhyme-line but failed.

I scooped the offspring up into a bowl and into the juicer, and juiced the mind thoroughly. I then watered the ugly plant my neighbor enjoyed to pamper in his garden and it just happened to wither and die.

Mind can be really toxic, it can

But there are no more faulty errors reporting. None

Michael Neill on TED

I was so blessed to attending a workshop with Serge Kahili King in Norway about 25 years ago – and Michael and I shared a taxi afterwards. I laughed almost all the way. We shared tips as therapists – he shared a tip to help people get rid of fear: he suggested they replaced “fear” with a silly word – like French Fries when they talked about their fear ” Oh, I got those terrible French Fries yesterday” and that was enough for many – got rid of a lot of seriousness there -” Silliness is such a great healer! It breaks the trance of identification with gloomanddoom

 

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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