LUGGAGE

I am celebrating! I had a dream where losing my luggage  brought nothing but indifference – and then relief!

It had likely been stolen – and I hadn’t notice before today when I was returning. I did not fuss about what worthables  I might have lost – I did not give it a thought ! ahhhhhh – and I just put on whatever garment I had left to cover my body going home on public transportation. It was VERY casual to put it mildly

This “i don’t give a fig” – I can’t tell you how utterly freeing it felt

Lost and Found

Some days ago I posted about losing my hearing aid,and looking everywhere One minute ago, I rose up with determination and repeated: I WILL find my hearing aid now, with love and gratitude.” I went directly to my coats in the wardrobe and searched through the pockets I have searched through at least 10 times before. On my third affirmation I sensed the little box in the pocket of a jacket.
Thank you for showing me the power of my full choice and determination

Healing Slide – and Swallow-play

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE89f600ETA
I did something I was very scared of doing today:  please see video “Healing Slide.”

The program says: “The Healing Slide is intended to cure us from certainty and security. This is one of doctor Carsten Höller’s creations at the Henie Onstad Museum, “The Slide produces a sense of loss of control and an opportunity”, as he says himself, “to experience an emotional state that is a unique condition somewhere between delight and madness.”

It took some time before I pluck up my courage, as I was terribly afraid – but I did it!  and he is quite right – “state between pleasure and madness” is right. When I reached the other end, my brain convinced me that I had twisted around at least three – four times – but it was just one long turn. And what happened in the brain was amazing to me  – and it was probably also contributing that I was terribly afraid  and ignored the fear 🙂 🙂 :).

I felt 20 kilos lighter afterwards. I felt very proud and happy! And you know what – I have not seen swallows in 10 years at least – I’ve missed them so much! – and when I got out of the museum and walked down the big green fields, there were 5 swallows there – and they had so much fun: they flew ca 30 cm above the ground ,and flew into figure eight and big circles around me and I just stood there and  tears flowed

 

Today a little adorable craziness

Blue is Playing

Blue is my inner guide on my journey to remembering my Self. He truly enjoys playing  – giving me hilarious synchronicities, as Jung names them.

I have my alarm clock set to nine am, and yesterday I turned the alarm off. Still, this morning it alarmed! It is a type that sounds the alarm 50 times before it stops. I  picked it up and looked at it – and it was set to OFF. I said, “now listen.You are not supposed to  sound the alarm when I have turned you to off.”

It stopped in the middle of two repetitive signals. If it had had a face, it would have blushed.

Now, how many of you will believe this? I wonder. Maybe the ones who have followed me for 6 years.  So maybe ONE 🙂 The rest of you may laugh as loud as you want. But I tell you, I would not have lasted as long as I have without “synchronicities” as this as long I worked on When Fear Come Home to Love – ca 25 years, without Blue dishing out these weird and wonderful syncs I have called Blue is Playing. You may write it in the search field to find more.

Now, the reason he does this is – to me – who is a sucker for symbols and looking at the world as a reflection of my mind – the reason is, that I have now understood that “setting the alarm” points to me continuously playing out disaster-thinking: I have black belt in it. I find myself continuously imagining new (or old ones), painting them out in details and feeling them in my body. And lately, I have watched me like a hawk and swooped down on them really fast – within a second or two – AND I have also told my mind that I now choose to turn that  old defense off.

Like last night.

That’s why it blushed, you know. The alarm clock.

OK, one more:

I read in A Course in Miracles: “I have created all I see.” I look out the window: there are two boys passing the window, and one of them has exactly the same clothes as the costume I made to a very famous marionette my husband made: Titten Tei.

Here he is with Julie Andrews, visiting Norway – terrible quality, but still…he is talking to JULIE ANDREWS, people.

So…the Titten Tei’s voice and puppet-player  died some years ago, so now he hangs on my wall with his little violin.

Ah. You see how clever I have been I hope. Not to mention my passed husband who in fact crafted the doll and his marvelous spunky spirit, together with Birgit Strøm.

Nough about that – here is another Blue is Playing:

I walk to the Culture Hall and tell myself inside:” I love myself  as I am now.”

The girl in the cafe has a white T- shirt with black writing: ” I love myself just as I am now.”

I know. Not very likely.

OK the last one – a notch more plausible:

I sit in the bus and pray silently ( aren’t you happy I do it silently):

“Lord, let me see with Your eyes, Your ears… and so on. I don’t think he has a body, though – but symbolically, he might see and hear, i have decided.” I look up, a big van is passing it has a logo with big black letters: “Thirst for the best.”

You have to admit that was a nice one.

White horses in the night

Dream

Dark night in the snowy wood. No flashlight, but feeling confident. Not cold. Suddenly, there is a glowing bowl of fire under the snow. It rolls! It knows where it goes, it knows it purpose! A wind of freedom soars through the wood, and there are horses – all shining white in the darkness – , they run 3 feet OVER the snow, oh, their manes – alive  – they know their purpose too –

Then I am out of the wood, and it is seven to nine -still light, no snow here – is it day or night, i don’t know –

right behind me are soldiers, and they seem more like freedom fighters, not serving the government – they have blown up something, and the building beside me is the Police Department, or is it the Ministry of Defense 🙂 I see windows blown up, but the damage seems “civil” to me – done with consideration 🙂

The  white horses are surely in team with the disruptors

*

Last night I followed a teleclass with Zach Rehder –

this is a wonderful demonstration of how his work dismantles old defense patterns. Afterwards, I felt completely overwhelmed, and very close to panic. So I sat myself down and asked for help – breathed into the feelings/sensations, and heard: ” Fill your heart with Love for this scared little part of you.” As I did, it became so clear that I AM this Love and not the scared part. The scared part had come to life because of belief  in separation in my mind – and seen from this loving ME, it was a thought I forgave – it seemed silly.

I remembered my Identity in God, and I forgave my fear-creations and my identification with them all – look where it has brought me – to this sacred moment 🙂

The sensations in the body-mind, that before always have led to psychotic episodes or months of panic and anxiety, this time was seen as an unreal creation with no power except the one I had given it by believing in it

I went to bed, I rested in God

and then the dream happened

Now, the further work – to truly embrace the fear-energies when they come – and forgiving myself if I start to believe in their stories again

5 ways to kill your dreams

The monk and the fish

-just because I love it so much

I must have seen it hundred times- it still moves me so

Demonstrating the healing of old archetypes with new additions:)

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Breath

Balloon

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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