Is the title of this blog, starting 11 years ago.
Womb meaning a place of gestation – not yet living one’s life- but preparing for it. In my way of looking at it, you also swim in the mind of your mother – and all the ancestors, I’d say.
I am in awe of the beauty and rationality of the path I have chosen – or the path choosing me. The last month or so my throat has become gradually sorer and more constricted, and this morning I took it seriously: this is an energy/creation coming up for healing.
As soon as I sat down for it, deep crying came, it felt wonderful. The inner crying part told me it was terrified of SPEAKING OUT – being heard – “having a voice” – as NOT having one was in childhood a must for keeping silent, keeping the family secret.
As soon as the part felt and sensed that I now allowed it and listened, I could separate out “my creation” as Jeshua calls it. A creation is what the Son of God = US ALL – create when something “bad” happens and we judge it. The energy contracts, and there is a magnetism around it now – and as soon as we judge it, we have told ourselves it has something to do with US. And since we have chosen to believe it, it HAS – says Jeshua- that is the power of our decision.
He then teaches us – in A Course in Miracles and in his Way of Mastery- trilogy – how to forgive our creations and allow them to be dissolved in the Light of Christ – which is our birth right. Just like the Buddha field is for Buddhists – the Atman is for Hindus – etc.
So I did the forgiveness process, and there were deep waves of release and gratefulness as I went through it. The “chronic” pain and soreness in the chest and throat is abating.
And funnily – something in my left ear is clearing up too – it had not been willing to HEAR this before, and now it has.
And here is a strange thing:
In my twenties, I started to have a feeling / knowing I was actually two persons – there was another physical “me” out there – a body.
I sang in a big choir from I was 16 to 23 or so- when I lost my soprano from one day to another. I sang first soprano and stood in the first row of singers, and my conductor stood on the podium 3 meter away from me. So he knew my face very well – wouldn’t you agree? And one rehearsal he took me apart after rehearsal and chastised me: “ I saw you this night down by the docks, in a horrible state of mind hanging between two drunk sailors.”
Well – that was quite a shock – since I was sleeping in my bed and never out in town at all. Others tell me they have seen me other places too.
Now, as I have studied creation for the last 40 years, I believe there are parallel dimensions – and I believe that this other “me” that Oscar Raum saw, could actually be me in this parallel dimension.
From one day to the next I lost my singing voice and had to leave my beautiful grand choir. Devastated – but something inside relaxed, knowing that she did not have to press through tensions to be a first soprano anymore.
So now I spoke to that duplicate, and felt release and even deeper crying – and then I saw that what I had subjected to abuse was my true VOICE – I had cramped it and judged it and squeezed it into contraction, rejecting it.
And OH how I want to have the fullness of it back now – without any more cramps and abuse.
We’ll see 🙂
Below is the FREE VOICE of the Heart we all share. And all the imprisoned ones remember the Voice and listens.
And here is a video with PURE VOICE – no talk – can anything more beautiful than this exist?
Leaving the womb: entering life fully 