Self torturing as a way of living

After the horror-dream yesterday, I had a dream where I shared the awakening with 3 different friends. One ridiculed me, one accepted it completely and one looked skeptic but said nothing.

I contacted the friend in the dream that looked skeptic about the belief that we have a “glorious Self”. Nichola has MS, and has received a harsh Christian upbringing based on concepts of fear and punishment. Blue told me we could work together on weeding out these old concepts of a  god of fear, and we met at Skype today.

I started with the prayer to invite  truth and love into this sharing -process between us, and ask for help to lift into the light any blocks we might have about God as something to fear, and something that punishes. I told Nichola that all that she needed to do, was to be willing to be wrong about her beliefs that God is a God of fear. She said yes – and felt warm glow around the heart.

Nichola shares thoughts that God is punishment,actually

Leelah: So could this MS be punishment?

She says yes – and that it feels like truth,actually. AND she is willing to be wrong about it

Now the glow around the heart moves all through into the limbs

Nichola: “You know, it feels almost like punishment defines who I am.” She starts laughing out loud

Leelah: Laughing – are you punishment, or are you that which is aware of the thought?

Nichola: That which is aware, actually….I had this punishing angry god, and i rejected that god – it’s like I have become that god for myself.Oh my God – I can’t believe it – I have been my own worst torturer –

Leelah: me too. We are not alone in this

And now we just allow the input of loving healing energy to pour through us. It comes as a natural effect from our joint willingness to be wrong about the lies about God – and allowing the shift in energies because of that willingness.

We don’t do the healing – but we have to allow it, choose it.

The rest is up to the Love within.