SPOOKS

This morning at last it all became clear to me:

all the horrors and nightmares in my mind lately are not real – not reaction to something happening NOW – these are the little child’s memory tape playing in my mind – in the ONE mind of us all:)

and I welcome it with open arms – it is a miracle of healing!

These are the memory imprints from the terrorized little child – by a miracle did I this morning GET that these are psychic imprints, playing up – the child is showing me it all

psychic imprints are NOT reality NOW

It is a true joy and ecstasy to be WITH it all

– it is over with!!

It is highly probable that these memories come from all her life – from birth on

and these are also collective imprints from the One Mind we all share

So my lovely job now is to KNOW that these feelings and imprints are baby/child-memories / imprints from probably all her/my/ life – I have seen that the abuse started that early

As soon as I realize this, my whole stomach and lower body feels sore and heavy – and there is a tingling with it, as the old imprints are lifting off, and there is rejoicing in the air 🙂

And the lovely thing is, that the more imprints and memories that wells up now inside, the better – it is WELCOMED ♥ there is no more NO NO NO – attached to it

It is just an old tape being played – with full orchestration of the nervous system 🙂

On the illustration on the book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” in the right menu, you can see the Child stretching her arms toward the Snake – this is the moment where the Snake stings her and she takes it all inside her bodymind –

and NOW is the time when all of it is at last REALIZED and fully experienced

now released

All the old feelings of “NONONONO I will get mad” are allowed too – just flowing out, unhindered

Deep tenderness flows in

I am 79 years old♥

Here is the magical awesome painting that flowed from me/ through me during my education in Switzerland – (to become an Expressive Arts Therapist -) and that later became a book:

When Fear Comes Home to Love

the copyright symbol insists on being this big

Being With Hell is Heaven

I am floating in the clearest light thinkable. It comes from being willing to breathe through a deep depression, being with it, being with the little child’s tremendous loneliness from years when insanity and abuse happened – and the child – I survived by pushing it down and disowning it completely.

I have been living through deep feelings of loneliness the last week

This morning has changed from suicidal depression to joy and lightness, and acceptance of  my life – had it not all happened THEN, I could not be able to NOW fully accept the release from the old tortured child-identity.

In the identity lies torture – I “am” these deep depressive thoughts

In just noticing the energy/feelings, “just so” is release.

The solar plexus looks dark brown to me, I will just continue breathing.

Just now, the feeling of rottenness is very strong, and my right ear is painful, from something deep inside its snailcurliness.

It is a miracle to just be alive and present right NOW, breathing through it, breathing LovesBreath through it, yawning deep deep yawns

Being here with all of me – realizing that BEING WITH hell is Heaven

Being with means NO judgments about anything going on

Happiness is present

Identity is all –

The minute I AM this old tortured being I am in hell- there is no awareness available – since the I/Self has meshed with the torture –

 The distinction of Presence/Witness/ here is the difference between Heaven and Hell

Deep feelings of meaninglessness – and NOT identifying with them

Just so -floating in awareness- I am certainly not the body, I am experiencing it all IN this body

“Grounding it” says a happy male voice

AMEN

Credit: Efraim’s Tochter